Video Death Loop

The magic of life should not be taken for granted, France! You know that just as much as the rest of us! You are born of this earth, live off its riches and die in its dirt just like the rest of us. So why are you giving the false hope of magic hugs that make you become the sun? I always wanted to be to a Sun! A vicious ball of heat and gas and plasma that shines on everyone whether they want it or not (They can live in the habitable zone, I guess.) But no! I can’t be a sun! I can only shine a bright light on someone’s day by my kind words and demeanor! That’s not enough! I want to burn for a million degrees until I burn out and expand and consume the galaxy! Damn you, french animation short! Damn you and your false hope!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s unaware of the badass thing he is doing while outside. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s the reason the hornets are so angry, not the basketball!

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Harvey Freeman had a vision. Well maybe not a vision; it was a meeting. It was at a crossroads. The dusty kind. The kind where the Devil hangs out. Harvey Freeman needed a winning idea and the Devil was the person to give it to him. Whatever he was given, he knew he could change the world. Harvey trusted in himself (and the devil) that much. However, even he wasn’t quite sure what to do with the Devil Sticks. He had to practice them for way too long for one. Everyone thought he was just messing around in the park. No. No he was not. He was nose deep into Stick Business and he was about to graduate with a S.D. (Stick Degree) and Devilnometry. Then, and only then, could he face off against his final boss; The Patent Office. The paperwork would bring him down, but the Harvey Freeman name would remain on high.

They’re kind of fun, too.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s not going on The Curse of Oak Island anytime soon. John Hurst is your co-host and he should have guessed a higher number.

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Is it a Beautiful World? Who even knows! Target sure thinks so. Target is ready to sell your products as the sun is melting down all around us ready to consume us. Only one company stands in the way of total destruction and it turns out that mostly make carbonated soda beverages. And guns. Lots of citruses-y guns.

Also forcing other brands to expand outsider of their wheelhouse. I hear Slim Jims make for great saloon doors!

John Hurst is your host this week and he has to go back to Podcast Prison after this episode. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s working the skunkworks at Sunkist on the Balls Kicking Committee.

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The era of digital fansubs brought us everything. Everywhere. All at once! We had to have it all! We had to trade CD-Rs in big binders trying to gather it all like Pokemon. Even shows like Chobits, which I am personally convinced noone ever saw the ending to! We just saw the plasticy ears and figured out the rest of the show from there! Still, we torrented it. And some of us are still living in the hole in the ground for the trouble. City pop vibes, baby!

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Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is taking his Persocom everywhere. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s got coyotes to fight before he gets internet again.

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People cried when the statues of the Virgin Mary shed tears of blood, but would you do the same for the Wendy’s Piss Fountain? I bet you would. It’s a beautiful sight made by our fast food benefactors from Dublin, Ohio. They’re giving you the greatest in free entertainment and promo codes for this. All you have to do is wave your little arms around and not worry about why you’re working the counter in a virtual fast food chain. They own you now. Don’t be too bothered by it. That’s how the internet works! You never looked at the Terms and Agreement before now, after all. Put on the VIB Visor. Your burger chariot is waiting (For other people, not for you. Get to work.)

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s wondering why that tomato has his legs. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he learned a valuable fast food secret from a college friend.

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Turn around! You’re in a boarding school with Bonnie Tyler are your principal. She makes you practice fencing and kendo at night and that’s a little weird! She wonders around just looking in rooms and not interacting. You ask her for any opinions and input but she’s just wistfully walking along in her formal wear with the thin fabric that wisps around in the wind. Your eyes have started glowing. Are you a vampire? Maybe? You don’t feel vampiry. You’re just worried if next week’s match is going to go well. You’re so tired. You just want to play Chrono Trigger on the Super Nintendo without Principal Bonnie Tyler looking into your room and commenting on your character levels. Turn around. Turn around! Turn–

Aaron Littleton it your host this week and he has sage advice for those who would be tempted to go “subreddit deep” on a mundane subject. John Hurst is your co-host this week and every now and then he falls apart (For spoons.)

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How little can a unicorn be? Well, according ot the film ‘The Little Unicorn” circa 2002: Not little at all! It’s an average size horse! Bigger maybe! It’s got a horn and it glows and everyone wants it and I think we ran out of plot so let’s add like 45 minutes of interpersonal family conflict with David Warner, thank you! And once they’re done, it’s time to really make our new unicorn-related industry go to work. Don’t worry, it’s very humane! Extremely! We swear! The USDA swears!

John Hurst is your host this week and he associates the cloned sheep Dolly with Madden 96 for an incredibly specific reason. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he needs some cool glowy platforms or it is not REAL science.

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Sometimes, something can look like an entire decade and noone can know what year it came from. This is true even for build who lived in the decade. But the scientists over at Video Death Loop have it all figured out when it comes to Camp Wilder, our second ABC TGIF show of the season. What was it about? How did the plot go? Did involve as much surf music and whimsy as they are desperately trying to give in the intro? We don’t know! But we can say we’re pretty sure it might be a 90s show. Maybe. At least someone didn’t have to die by hamburger to become a (teen) angel! … Actually, we have no idea there also. We’ll check wikipedia after I finish writing this.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is getting that cheap hit so Fandango can win the dark match. John Hurst is your co-host and he is the heralder of surf music in the 90s.

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The Burger King Kid’s Club (BK Kid’s Club to the cool ones out there) was a radical set of kids being radical in your radically marketed mind. They needed someone to combat the monstrosities McDonald’s was giving us with years and eons of lore, just in case Mayor McCheese ever decided to unleash the Grimace or one of his many cousins on the neighboring fast food chains in the same section of town. The results would be brutal and what better way to combat monsters than a ragtag group of children banding up together to learn about friendship and/or burgers? Would the artist making the BK Kids, in their cyberpunkian glory, also realize he was a part of the plot? Would the editor? Where does the inception end? Maybe after we get our box of meal prep chips in the mail. We got corn chips this week! It’s going to be a good one.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s thinking of things in terms of what you can wear on your belt like a totally cool person and not like a dad with sunglasses, okay?! Aaron Littleton is your newly appointed co-host and he’s got some historical Gilgamesh fanfiction just for you.

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Hey everyone! It’s Teen Angel! The Angel that was a Teen! He’s dead now! They made sure of that! For this hilarious (debatable) comedy! Wow! He’s solving his friends problems? Or making new ones? He’s only going to be doing it for 17 episodes though, so you better figure out your life by then! He might not be able to physically go beyond making Austin Powers jokes! His mind did not finish developing before death! Yeah baby, yeah!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is on the serious side of the very important lunch chart graph we make in this episode. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he is entering Hibernation 2.0, as the tech bros will dub it.

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