Video Death Loop

VIDEO GAME HINTS! They’re fast and fun! It’s like an ancient gacha for your phone, except your parents will get even madder at you! Don’t mind the super hero trying to usher you into the St. Paul megadome (St. Paul residents, I am sorry but I’m not looking up your sports arena’s name. I’m sure it is very nice though.) Don’t even mind that it is empty! Just come in and ignore the plants and abnormally large curtains! You’ve got games to beat!

John Hurst is your host this weekend and, yeah, he’d pay $8 to see this commercial live! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s watching a video essay on this right now.

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At Hidden Valley, the ranch flows unending. There’s just too much of it. We need to use it in more and more creative ways, but it means we all must make sacrifices. The ice cream truck? Gone. It’s now full of vegetables (and ranch dressing.) The children? They must enjoy the ranch as well. If they do not, they’re not effective and they’re BANISHED from the Valley of Hidden. We must all do our part. Bring in the big bowl. Stick your fist in it. Lick the ranch from your knuckles. It’s ranch or be ranch’d, buckos.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s re-ranching his lawn this week. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s getting gaslit very easily!!

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If you go to Kingfish Restaurant in Louisville, KY, it sounds like you’ll get some pretty good seafood! This is judging by the reviews online, but also the reviews of these paid(?) actors in the 1990s commercial they made it sound pretty sweet too! The catchy jingle and the twirling of shrimp and onion rings catch the eye and make it determine it as a fun place potentially. But before we even get there, we have to meet… Richard. Richard is pictured above. And he’s down for whatever you want. Get out those lobster bids, baby. It’s fishin’ time.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is going to crack up every time he sees Richard so you’re going to have to deal with that. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s worried about the hanging paper towel in the workplace bathroom.

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It’s Star Trek! In DEEP ASS SPACE! And… They’re mostly chilling. People are on their time share, y’know. Enjoying life among the potential war zone. Drinking at Quark’s Bar. Complaining about Romulan Ale or something. Look, I loved Deep Space Nine but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it remotely in narrative order. Mostly it was in SpikeTV/USA Network order in between sessions of Earth Basketball. I’m just waiting for my week, is all!

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Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s really excited about getting some of those syllables out! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s trying to figure out a way to spin it into getting onto Sesame Street.

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It’s becomming firework season again in the US, which ranges from May – whenever we run out of fireworks! All manner of firepower big and small will be used, but maybe not these dainty little dragons that shoot fire out of two directions. They’re just too cute! You want to hug it while its on fire! That’s not a great feature for a firework! Unless that feature is burn insurance. Also, Puff the Magic Dragon versus Pete’s Dragon. Important topics. Critical topics.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s enjoying the silence. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he made this whole scenario later in the podcast so don’t believe him when he says otherwise.

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Everyone loves a Herman Miller chair. Especially the host this week Aaron. But Aaron doesn’t want to pay full price for a Herman Miller chair, understandably! That’s why he is working for co-host John as his left Porsche 911 shoe, a concept he is looking to get outlawed *immediately* in all 50 states. Is it worth it? Absolutely not. But is a Herman Miller chair and it does turn you into a cyberskeleton soooooo… Maybe?!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s doing all the things described in the above paragraph. John Hurst is your co-host this weeek and he too is doing everything in the above paragraph.

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There’s a place in Knoxville where you can go to see little circular homes that are of a certain fantasy classic but legally distinct from it. You can throw axes there! Talk by the fire! Listen to the power lines sing a song in your gentile ear. Yes, it’s the Ancient Lore Village, a project that even has its own 2.5 Star reviewed book on Amazon! That’s the kind of literature that makes recreational facilities happen! No, seriously, it’s true. Go to Pigeon Forge sometime. It’s all marketed like that. This one’s in between that town and another though, so it’s different! Maybe! Shh, the power lines are talking again. Let’s listen.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got strong opinions about important wikipedia articles. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he just wants a really nice map.

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You’re done arguing with your friends! We can all agree going to the Werewolf versus Vampire movie is neutral ground, right? We weren’t all going to see Mystic River so you better damn well deal with this sci-fi creation under a blue light and you better be damn neutral about it! Look, there’s vampires! And Werewolves! They’re fighting! And she has a big ol’ sword she’s fighting them both with? Maybe one side? Which one? I don’t know, I wasn’t paying any attention. I was too busy trying to fly with these new eagle wings of mine. It’s kind of hard!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s considering utility with animal powers. John Hurst is your co-host and he has re-written the rules of who gets “The Animal” nickname.

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It turns out that everything they warned us about is all true. Pokemon Cards are the devil’s work! The mere touch of a rare card is enough to convert your entire body into an explosion of pokemon cards and coalesce into something that looks quite like you… But different. Never will you be the same again and all your previous joys will be gone, replaced by Pokemon cards. You can’t even play the deck you like anymore. You are the deck, unable to change that one card that was definitely a poor decision. Stay away from the danger! Skate away, younglings!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is stealing all the world’s helium to be remembered by history. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he witnessed a living AI Model experiment in high school.

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No, I do not want to date your avatar. Unless your avatar is a Ragnarok Online model! Then maybe I would consider it! We would have spent ages levelling up together, so at the point where we may consider dating I would know if we were a good fit for each other. We’d also know what we thought of bees and web series by then so we could get a billboard together announcing are nupitals or something. Is that how marriage works? Better buy a second billboard just in case. And maybe hide my Runescape account.

Aaron “The Animal” Littleton Esquire is your host this week and he has a choice this week before we get the billboard up! John “The Animal” Hurst is ready to let you into heaven, as long as you don’t have a certain popular brand electronic device from Apple.

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