Virtual Pause

In this episode we will look at our lives like an impressionist painting - a beautiful landscape or scene that has a million different dots of color, or moments. Sometimes we can forget to back up and look at the big picture, and instead we focus on the struggle of the moment, not realizing it is part of the tapestry of our lives. We will spend some time identifying a moment over our entire life that we are grateful for, then a moment of this past year, this past month, this past week, and this very moment. We will identify what it is we are holding onto that keeps us from being grateful in the moment, and attempt to let go of the grip we have on it. We will end with our Listening step, and I will read the following poem by Michael Kiesow Moore, cited in gratefulness.org. Climbing the Golden Mountain Listen. Turn  everything off. When the noise of our lives drifts away,  when the chatter of  our minds  sinks into  that perfect lake of nothing, then, oh then we can  apprehend that golden mountain, always there, waiting for  us to be  still enough  to hear it.

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In this special episode I describe why I started the Pause, the structure of it, why it has the elements that it does, and what it is intended to do. This is a good episode if you have never gone through a pause before and want to understand a bit of its history and foundation. None of this is unique to me, it is simply what I have gathered and put into a process because of a desire to cultivate my own stability in the midst of everyday chaos. Many of these elements come from teachers across different faith backgrounds. 

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Our pace of play, or the pace we are living, is often fast and frenzied. We are told we need to "rest", but rest is a luxury and self-indulgent. Yet by not resting, we become fragmented, disconnected and chaotic, running into others around us and eventually burning out from exhaustion. This episode helps us take a rest in the midst of our chaos, a brief pause that doesn't require a couch, so we can really see what underlies our hurried movement and tend to the emotions that we have hidden behind our walls of busyness. This episode is great while driving or walking because we won't close our eyes or do any stretching.  Wheel of God You are a wheel at which I stand, Whose dark spokes sometimes catch me up, Revolve me nearer to the center. Then all the work I put my hand to Widens from turn to turn.  -Rumi

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We each have a center of our being that Thomas Merton describes as “nothingness”. It is nothingness simply because it is not attached to anything and has no agenda. It is the place where we are the most free, full of love and life, our true self.

We often find ourselves in situations where this place of “being” doesn’t transcend into our “doing”, or our movement out into the world. Our true self may be love, patience, generosity, creativity – yet it does not show up in our daily circumstances. The moments of pause allow us to receive this sense of freedom and true self by touching the waters of our deep well, yet we block up, or dam, the flow of the waters as we interact with others. Why? We have our own agenda, or our own fears, and stay behind our self-protected walls.

In this session, we will identify that true self inside of us, and by thinking through a circumstance, we will begin to recognize and let go of the agenda that keeps the water from flowing.

At the Center of Stillness

At the center of stillness

we find Nothing.

A nothingness void of our accomplishments,

our needs,

our brilliance,

our failures.

At the center of stillness

there is nothing to do,

nothing to measure,

nothing to perform.

Pausing at the center of stillness

our breath stops,

all is quiet,

no measuring stick applied to our productivity

no opinion applied to our worth.

At the center of stillness

we find

nothing.

And that is where

we discover

Everything.

-Angie Winn

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In the noise and busyness of everyday life, we can find it hard to be fully present in the moment. In this episode we will imagine ourselves in a situation where we desire to be present - maybe a conversation with someone, in a meeting, cooking dinner, or even taking a walk - and we will identify and let go of that which keeps us from having fidelity to our whole being in the moment.

Listen:

There's too much noise in here. 

Too much noise outside of my being. 

There's too much noise inside of my head.  

Quiet the clutter. Release the pain.  

Let me be free.  

So I can love better.  So people aren't distractions and things aren't in the way of people.

Free me up, God, by grounding me in you.  And keeping my eyes fixed on your skies.

-angie

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Have you ever spent some time alone in quiet, centering yourself, and found some peace, only for it to be gone as soon as ordinary life comes knocking on your door? We can be in a vicious cycle in our lives where we center ourselves and gain a sense of peace and clarity, and then something triggers us and we erupt – however that might look like for us. Carl Jung says that 10% of our thoughts and actions are conscious, and 90% are unconscious. The problem is we don’ t deal with and heal the things going on in the unconscious. Welcoming Prayer is a way of pulling out those unconscious parts of our selves by focusing on what is happening in our body – tension, pain, discomfort, other sensations – seeing what thoughts and emotions come up as we focus on that tension in our body, and then letting go of our inner motivations around that internal or external situation. The Guest House This being human in a guest house Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes As an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, Who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture. Still, treat each guest honorably, He may be cleaning you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, Meet them at door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, Because each has been sent As a guide from beyond. ­-Rumi Resource: Welcome Prayer, Consent on the Go; Contemplative Outreach Publication

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When we have agendas, plans, and expectations, and something comes in our lives to interrupt them, we can sometimes refuse to let go, creating a sense of disintegrated chaos for us and those around us. Yet when we take a pause and let go of our agenda, plans and expectations, we can experience stability in motion, and then we can rise up and make a positive impact on those around us. 

"I have come

to drag you out of yourself,

and take you in my heart.

I have come to bring out the beauty

you never new you had

and lift you like a prayer to the sky."

-Rumi

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In this episode we will explore why we need silence and solitude and what to let go of internally and externally to protect it.

"Silence is the outer wall that we must build to protect an interior edifice."

"I am certain that silence is a divine liberation that unifies man and places him at the center of himself, in the depths of God’s mysteries. In silence, man is absorbed by the divine and the world’s movements no longer have any hold on his soul. In silence, we set out from God and we arrive at God."

The Power of Silence, Robert Cardinal Sarah

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In this episode, we recognize that it has been one year since the COVID lockdown. As the world slowly begins to open up, we are faced with transitioning again. And although some things may look the same, we know there are many changes that face us. With the help of a passage from Frederick Buechner's A Room Called Remember, we will examine what is old in us that we need to let go of in order for newness to come forth. 

"WE FIND BY LOSING. We hold fast by letting go. We become something new by ceasing to be something old. This seems to be close to the heart of that mystery. I know no more now than I ever did about the far side of death as the last letting-go of all, but I begin to know that I do not need to know and that I do not need to be afraid of not knowing. God knows. That is all that matters.

Out of Nothing he creates Something. Out of the End he creates the Beginning. Out of selfness we grow, by his grace, toward selflessness, and out of that final selflessness, which is the loss of self altogether, "eye hath not seen nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man" what new marvels he will bring to pass next. All's lost. All's found. And if such words sound childish, so be it. Out of each old self that dies some precious essence is preserved for the new self that is born; and with in the child-self that is part of us all, there is perhaps nothing more precious than the fathomless capacity to trust." Frederick Buechner, A Room Called Remember

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We often measure our interactions, our relationships, projects and work by how society tells us we should. Did we win? Did it give us accolades? And although this way of measuring seems fine, if we are honest with ourselves, there is an underlying motivation to our actions. We measure our success by having more control or power, approval, security or safety. Yet what if we measure our “success” in a different way?

Fruits of the Spirit

The fruit of the spirit is

love,

joy,

peace,

patience,

kindness,

goodness,

faithfulness,

gentleness

and self control

-Galatians 5:22

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