On today's show, Kyle Ayers (Conan) joins Matt & JD to discuss waiters getting to murder one customer per year, pretending you've seen movies you definitely haven't, wringing laughs out of a chronic pain disorder, why old men buy sports cars, the best midlife crisis purchases, telling your friend you suspect their wife is cheating, getting cut off at a wedding, it's hard to give someone a compliment about their mouth, monks love latte art, kids shouldn't be punished for cheating on tests, and judging Oscar contenders based on title alone.

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