Walk Beside Me

I'm so lucky to have my cousin Melissa and her husband, Lawrence, join my on the podcast today.

Melissa and Lawrence Stone have been through the gauntlet of grief: In 2012, they lost their oldest daughter Ethne in a car crash when she was 2 years old. A couple years later, their third son was born with a birth defect. And only a few years after that, their son Thomas was stillborn.

Miraculously, the Stones have taken these experiences and reaped from them blessings, both for themselves and for others. One of these blessings is their book Our Story(s), which will be published on September 15, 2025, just two days before what would be Thomas's 8th birthday.

In this episode, the Stones share highlights from their book, including:

• How couples can support each other through their different experiences of grief
• How their experiences have shaped their relationships with God
• How friends and family can best support loved ones who have experienced loss

Join us in honoring the lives of Ethne and Thomas Stone by performing an act of service on their birthdays:

• Ethne: November 11
• Thomas: September 17

Resources Mentioned

• Our Story(s) by Lawrence and Melissa Stone, preorder on Amazon; paperback release on September 15, 2025
• "Lord, I Believe" by Elder Holland, April 2013 General Conference address

Scripture References

• Matthew 19:22–24

Right after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God said to Eve, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children . . . .”

At first glance, this looks like a punishment. It looks like God making Eve (and all women) suffer for what she did.

But some personal spiritual experiences I’ve had recently make me wonder whether childbirth has to be framed as a punishment.

Instead, I’m starting to see it as a gift given to Eve to help her understand Christ’s redeeming love.

I know that childbirth, more than anything else, has helped me come to understand Jesus’s sacrifice and how He feels about us.

Eve needed this understanding of Christ’s love more than anyone else, because more than anyone else she was set up to feel immense shame for her decisions.

And to this day, women tend to be the most hard on themselves, the most perfectionistic, the most prone to shame.

What if childbirth is not the punishment to further condemn us, but rather a gift to help us taste redeeming love?

Scripture References:

• Genesis 3:16
• Moses 5:11
• Hebrews 12:2
• Genesis 7:12 (40 days and nights of rain during the flood)
• Exodus 24:18 (Moses on Mount Sinai for 40 days)
• Numbers 14:33–34 (Israel wandering for 40 years)
• Matthew 4:2 (Jesus fasting 40 days)
• Acts 1:3 (40 days between Jesus’s resurrection and ascension)
• Moses 1:39

Resources Mentioned:

• Walk Beside Me episodes on Punishment: Episode 15 and Episode 16

The phrase "give yourself grace" has been on my mind a lot as I navigate the postpartum period following my second daughter's birth. We often use this phrase to reassure someone going through a difficult time that they deserve mercy because they are doing the best that they can given the circumstances.

I am all for extending mercy—this is the essence of Christ's mission.

But true GRACE—Christ's grace—goes even deeper. It's not just about forgiveness. It's also about empowerment.

Am I actually doing the best that I can...or just the best that I know how?

What if I turned to the One that knows better? Who can help me find a way to show up how I want to even under difficult circumstances?

And is it possible to show up the way that I want to if I draw upon REAL grace—Christ's enabling and strengthening power?

Join me in this episode as I answer these questions and outline what it actually means to give yourself grace. Featuring lots of sweet newborn noises from baby Scottie :)

Scripture References:

John 8:1–11

This episode is part 2 of Baby Bird #2’s birth story. I’m comparing my first daughter’s birth with this one, laying out all the practical tips and gospel principles that helped my second birth experience go SO much smoother than my first.

My biggest takeaway? Everything is a choice. The noises you make during labor are a choice. The way you think about pain is a choice. The way you treat your spouse during a contraction is a choice. And I want to choose Jesus Christ's way in every circumstance, unconditionally.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Bradley Method (birth course for couples)
• Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
• The Untethered Soul by Michael Alan Singer

Scripture References:

• Matthew 4:1–11 (Tempted while fasting)
• Matthew 14:13–14 (John the Baptist’s death)
• Luke 22:49–51 (Healing the soldier)
• John 19:26–27 (Entrusting Mary’s care to John)
• Luke 23:34 (Forgiving crucifiers)
• Matthew 5:44–48 (verses about showing unconditional love and kindness)

I am THRILLED to announce the birth of another sweet babe into our family!

This episode is a play by play of everything that went down to get our baby earthside. I couldn't have done it without the support of my husband, a.k.a. birth doula. So I decided I didn't want to do this episode without him, either.

Listen in to hear about shark fishing during early labor, our Mary and Joseph moment, and this baby's gender reveal.

In next week's episode, I'll be outlining all the perspectives that helped me stay strong through this unmedicated labor.

Resources Mentioned

"Behold Thy Mother" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

In this episode, I'm discussing the power of welcoming our children's requests for the things they want, plus how we as parents and spouses can kindly make requests of our loved ones.

So many adults struggle to ask for help or go after the things they want in life. I'm confident that the fear of asking for the things we want is rooted in the way that adults responded to our expressions of desire when we were children.

Let's give our kids the confidence to ask for the things they want by celebrating their expressions of desire, as well as by modeling with our own kind requests that respect others' agency.

Resources Mentioned:

• Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
• Walk Beside Me episode 7: "Spoiling" vs. Godly Giving
• Walk Beside Me episode 2: Watch Your Thoughts: Is It “Bad Behavior” or Just Culture Shock?

Scripture References:

• Doctrine & Covenants 4:3
• Doctrine & Covenants 137:8–9
• James 1:5
• Doctrine & Covenants 42:61
• Matthew 7:7–8

With a lot of new listeners out there recently, I wanted to use this episode to shed a little more light on who I am and why I'm doing what I'm doing.

I'm sharing my personal background, which includes a long history of perfectionism and high-achieving, but also a good dose of guilt and shame. All of which led me to be terrified of parenting. Not only because I was afraid of doing it imperfectly, but also because I didn't want to pass along my perfectionism to my children.

Even though I knew I wanted something different for my kids, I didn't know what the alternative was until my daughter was about 4 months old. Conscious parenting resources rocked my world, revolutionized my relationship with God, and ultimately changed the way I see and interact with every human being, including myself.

Resources Mentioned:

• A Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn Ross
• The Mellow Mama (find her on Instagram, YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and her website)

Scripture References:

• Matthew 7:2

Other good episodes to get you started with grasping how conscious parenting aligns with the gospel:

• Episode 2: Watch Your Thoughts: Is It “Bad Behavior” or Just Culture Shock?
• Episode 3: God Trusts Your Kids with Agency. Do You Trust Him?
• Episode 4: Preaching Repentance: It's Not What You Think
• Episode 15: Teach Repentance, Not Punishment (pt. 1)
• Episode 16: Teach Repentance, Not Punishment (pt. 2)

This past week I finished reading "The Outward Mindset," a book published by the Arbinger Institute.

Although this book is written primarily for leaders of business organizations, the principles it teaches are totally applicable to parents. Which makes sense, because parents are organizational leaders—the organization just happens to be called a family, and the people being led just happen to be small humans called children.

I love the mindsets taught in this book so much that I had to dedicate a whole episode to it. Join me as I discuss what it means to parent with an outward mindset. We'll also examine the "trappings" of parenthood that unintentionally disconnect us from our children.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Arbinger Institute
• The Outward Mindset by the Arbinger Institute
• Bonds that Make Us Free by Terry Warner
• Leading Outward Podcast: Apple & Spotify

Scripture References:

• Luke 2:7
• Matthew 4:9–10
• John 6:15
• Mark 2:16–17
• Matthew 21:5
• Matthew 20:25–28
• Mosiah 3:5–7
• Mosiah 2:10–14

About a month ago, I quit my job as an attorney and went full-time, stay-at-home-mom mode.

In this episode, I’m sharing the questions and principles that have guided me as I’ve navigated law school, working as a part-time lawyer, and (temporarily?) "retiring."

Questions for decision making:

1. What feels like love?
2. In a perfect world, what would I want? What decision is closest to that?
3. What would I do if I didn’t care what anyone else thinks?
4. What would I do if I didn’t have any worries about the future or end result?
5. What would I do if I knew I would succeed no matter what?
6. Compare gains and losses between the two decisions
7. Which choice would I be more grateful for 5 years from now? 20 years from now? At the end of my life? In eternity?
8. What part of me will die if I choose X? What part of me will grow?
9. What would Jesus do?
10. Which choice more effectively builds the kingdom of God?
11. Which choice feels more interesting and exciting?
12. Which choice feels more like discipleship?
13. Which choice reminds me of my patriarchal blessing?
14. Which choice will help me develop Christlike attributes?
15. Which choice will help me become a better tool in the Lord’s hands?
16. If worldly definitions of success didn’t matter, what would I choose?
17. Which choice will open more doors?
18. Where will I learn the most?
19. Which choice will yield more valuable connections and relationships?
20. Which choice will enhance my relationships with my family? 
21. Which choice leads to more long term happiness?
22. Which choice allows more freedom?
23. Which decision do you have to justify less to yourself? To others?

Resources Mentioned:

David A. Bender quote

A Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn Ross

Scripture References:

Proverbs 3:5–6

The most stressful thing for me as a new parent was trying to figure out what the truth about parenting is. There is a LOT of noise out there, especially in today's world of social media and information overload.

In this episode, I'm sharing how I use 2 Timothy 1:7 (a.k.a. my favorite scripture verse of all time) as a framework to identify what advice is meant for me. This framework helps me decide whether the advice I'm receiving comes from a place of godly, eternal principles, or if it is merely "the philosophies of men."

This episode should be especially helpful for new parents who might be in the exact same mental space that I was when I became a parent. The truth is that there is no magic pill or one-size-fits-all solutions in parenting. But if you can ask yourself the right questions, you will land on ideas and tools that can be extremely empowering for you and your children.

Resources Mentioned:

• Brigham Young's Journal of Discourses
• A Theory of Objectivist Parenting by Roslyn Ross

Scripture References:

• Doctrine & Covenants 88:118
• Doctrine & Covenants 46:15
• Moroni 10:8
• 2 Timothy 1:7
• Doctrine & Covenants 9:8–9