Y'all are in for a treat this week. And yes, I am taking the liberty of saying "y'all" because my family just moved to the South and I'm not going to live below my privileges.

For my very last episode filmed in California, I wanted to interview a dear friend and role model, Catina Haverlock. I have gotten to know Catina while serving the youth in our church together and am constantly in awe of her wisdom, accomplishments, and heart.

Catina's parenting journey looks a little different from most. Her oldest son, Adam, who happens to be the exact same age as me, has experienced profound autism since around the time that he turned one year old. By witnessing Adam's unique strengths and helping bear the load of his challenges, Catina has been blessed with a magnified view of human development. She's learned what really works to help children with autism thrive. And at the end of the day, these principles apply to all parent-child relationships.

In this episode, we explore the differences between two popular autism interventions, and Catina explains why she has chosen to lean on one over the other. The cool thing is that the approach she takes—nicknamed RDI or Relationship Development Intervention—puts into action SO many eternal principles that we might sometimes forget apply to parenting.

Join us as Catina debunks autism myths, shares spiritual insights, and teaches concepts and practices that will bless any parent and child.

Scripture References:

Hebrews 11:1

Alma 32:21

Matthew 6:33

Resources Mentioned:

Adam Takes On Autism (Adam & Catina's Instagram)

The Beyond Series (Catina's fiction novels)

FEAT of Southern Nevada

TERI Inc.

The Christ Who Heals by Fiona & Terryl Givens

The God Who Weeps by Terryl & Fiona Givens

Trust God. It's one of the most common refrains in scripture. We hear it all the time. But are we taking this commandment seriously?

For some reason, I find it easier to trust God when there is a big change in my life. Moving across the country? God’s got a plan. Loved one passes away? They’re needed more on the other side. Lost my job? God’s got something better in store.

But crayon on the walls? Dinner burnt? Folded laundry knocked over? Husband home late? Toddler skipped her nap?

Suddenly the sky is falling.

I've recently discovered the power of intentionally trusting God with the small inconveniences we might assume don't matter to Him. Because actually, it is ALL part of His plan. In this episode, I'm introducing three tools that I use to keep my mind on Christ in these challenging moments, and how doing so affords me "perfect peace."

Scripture References:

Isaiah 26:3–4

Matthew 4:18–22

Daniel 3:17–18

Walk Beside Me on Instagram @brooklynmbird

I am thrilled to welcome Walk Beside Me's inaugural guest: my dear friend McKenzie Rucker.

McKenzie Rucker is many things: she is a graphic designer, web developer, wife, mother to 3 children, and passionate Jesus follower. I wanted her to join me on the podcast because she is one of those moms who radiates intentionality and joy with her children.

When I asked McKenzie what she wanted to talk about, she brought up the topic of nonverbal communication—its power in parenting and God's pattern of using it Himself. This episode builds PERFECTLY on last week's episode about giving godly instructions. God uses nonverbal cues to communicate with us all the time, and McKenzie does an excellent job of expounding on how we can do so as well in our parenting.

We talk about 6 principles of nonverbal communication in this episode:

1. Observe and behold
2. Curiosity over control
3. Model behavior by quietly teaching
4. Slow down & have patience
5. Give your presence
6. Calm confidence & inner peace

And if you want to put her beautiful power phrases on your wall as helpful reminders, here's the list:

• Notice before you navigate
• Wonder before you worry
• Seek connection before correction
• Teach with your hands and your heart, not just your voice
• Slow is safe
• Patience is power
• Presence is more powerful than perfection
• Your nearness is nurturing
• Calm is contagious
• Confidence doesn't have to be loud
• Your peace is their peace

Everyday a Holiday website

Everyday a Holiday Instagram

Follow Brooklyn on Instagram for more Christ-centered parenting goodness

Giving instructions can be stressful for some parents—especially those of us who are trying to be respectful and conscious in how we communicate with our kids. How can we clearly communicate what we want without being overly controlling or domineering? And how do we respond when our children don't immediately obey?

The good news is, God gives us an excellent example of how to give instructions clearly, directly, AND gently. He shows us that is possible to be straightforward and kind. He's the perfect example of teaching clearly AND respecting our agency.

So I'm laying out five principles that I see in the scripture that demonstrate how God instructs His children, and that I think we can apply in our own parenting:

1. Use positive language
2. Straightforward, not begging
3. Delivery is tailored to the child's needs and timing
4. Never hypocritical
5. Not emotionally attached to immediate results

Resources:

No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury

Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff

Scripture References:

Exodus 20:3–20

Matthew 5

Matthew 6

How can you tell if you are successful as a parent? We might be tempted to measure our success by any of the following:

• What other people say about our parenting
• How quickly our children obey or comply
• Our kids' grades
• Our kids' extracurricular achievements
• How happy our kids are
• How cute our kids are
• How quickly our children pass developmental milestones
• Whether our children have everything they want materially

The problem is, none of these metrics are completely within your control.

God is the most successful parent—we know this because He is perfect. He is all knowing and therefore His parenting style is the BEST model for our own parenting. Yet if we measured His success as a parent by any of the standards above, He might not look successful.

So how CAN we measure parenting success?

In this episode, I'm recommending that you measure your success as a parent by your relationship with your child. And by "relationship," I mean how you relate to your child. How you think and feel about them. How you treat them.

The magic of this metric is that it is dependent on only one person: YOU. You can have a good relationship with your child even if your child doesn't have a good relationship with you. Such is the case for God, who relates to all of His children in the most beautiful, loving way, no matter how they relate to Him.

Scripture references:

Luke 15:11–32 (The Prodigal Son)

Doctrine & Covenants 4:5

Alma 32:21

Romans 8:28

1 Corinthians 13:4–8

Where is the line between "spoiling" your child and simply being kind to them? Is there some kind of magical limit on the number of times we can give our children what they want before they become "spoiled"?

In this episode, I'm challenging traditional fears surrounding spoiling with five scripture-inspired principles:

1. Instead of worrying about "spoiling" your child, focus more on strengthening (and not spoiling) the relationship.
2. God invites us to ask for things. We can likewise welcome our children's requests.
3. God says yes pretty much all the time. There is always some way for us to say yes.
4. God never gives from a place of fear. Neither should we.
5. God never gives in order to control. Neither should we.

Scripture References:

Matthew 7:7

James 1:5

Isaiah 58:9

Doctrine & Covenants 46:7

Alma 34:18–27

Follow along on Instagram:

instagram.com/brooklynmbird

This one is for the ladies.

Have you ever wondered whether Jesus really, really understands you? Especially when you're in the midst of periods, PMSing, pregnancy, miscarriage, infertility, postpartum, breastfeeding, singleness, or any other struggle that is uniquely female?

We know He felt every pain, sickness, and struggle when He performed the Atonement. But could He really get it if He never actually lived an earth life as a woman?

Today I'm opening up about a time when I struggled with this question. And I'm sharing the stories of Jesus that the Spirit brought to my mind, confirming that YES. He does get it.

I don't know exactly how, but I know that He does. And I think the biggest evidence of this is how quick He was to minister to women after He performed the Atonement. He knew how much they would be blessed by the reassurance of resurrection—of freedom from earthly, physical pain.

Follow me on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/brooklynmbird

Not only do our words reveal our thoughts, they also reinforce them. Whenever I catch myself using the words/phrases "can't," "don't have time," "feel like," "need," "have to," and "let me," I realize I am living in a scarcity mindset and victim mentality. I am living a lie. I have a spirit of fear inside of me.

But I want a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind. So I remember my agency. I shift my language. I take ownership for my choices and behavior. And then, always, a more empowered, loving, and peaceful spirit follows.

I dare you to try out these verbal shifts. Catch yourself in the lies. Start living in truth.

Scripture References:

Matthew 6:7

Exodus 20:16

Proverbs 6:2

Proverbs 10:19–20

Proverbs 17:27

When you hear the words “preach repentance,” what do you think of? Does it mean standing in the middle of the town square, telling everyone to shape up and stop sinning?

In this episode, I explore how preaching repentance can be as simple as helping your child clean up a mess. Forgiving your spouse immediately when they come home later than planned. Setting an example by learning from your own mistakes instead of hiding from them, beating yourself up for them, or blaming someone else for them.

By practicing grace, forgiveness, and hope on a micro level in our daily interactions, we are accepting the Savior’s invitation to preach repentance. Even if we never climb on a soapbox.

Scripture References:

Doctrine & Covenants 58:42–43

Doctrine & Covenants 19:16

Matthew 18:21–22

Join me as I talk about the foundational topic of agency: where it comes from, why it's a gift, and what it means for our relationship with our children. Spoiler: influence is more powerful than control.

Resources I mention in the episode:

Terryl Givens Interview on the "Faith Matters" Podcast:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qlo3SAFY8JE

The Mellow Mama:

instagram.com/themellowmama

⁠youtube.com/themellowmama⁠

themellowmama.org

Tessa Romero:

instagram.com/tessaromero_

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-momset-podcast/id1552137470

Scripture references:

2 Nephi 2