Pierre's giant red hands quivered as he held aloft the parchment. He read the words again and again and even double checked his addition.

There was no mistake.

A bead of sweat fell from his forehead and splashed onto his baseball-glove sized hand.

He leant back in his chair and began to rock back and forth repeating the same phrase over and over again, "The Prophecy of Eggbag".

When SUDDENLY...

 ///

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Bready or not, it's Peter's week!

It's time to pop on your favourite Peter jumper, roll out of bread, and head on downstairs to see what baked treats St Peter has bestowed upon you.

So raise a loaf and toast with us, "Merry Crustmas one and all!"

It'll all make sense in the end - it always does...

Dough-ho-ho!

 ///

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Pour yourself a final cup of mud and saddle up your favourite pig, cow or even perhaps horse, because it's time to continue forwards, onwards, in the direction of travel! That way! Go!

It's a good day to die (finally!) - the sun is shining, the orders are ready, and the enemy is present. We've got everything we need for a traumatic, poorly executed battle.

Charge!

 ///

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It's raining; it's pouring.
The old, potentially dead man, is snoring.
Nick went to war and found a pub,
When exactly will we be warring?!

 ///

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Bags. We thought we knew everything there was to know about them. We thought we'd been inside them all. But what if I told you there was one more bag, one special bag no one had ever seen before - let alone opened.

What if this bag held the power to change everything? Designed by Russia's only human pea this bag could change the war, Andy Pandy, maybe even Napolean himself.

Would you dare to open it? Would you dare to leave the comfort of your own bag and climb inside this other bag? Join us this week as we do exactly that - we're climbing inside Bag 10 and no one can stop us.

 ///

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Ok, so there's one giant bag and inside that bag there are 9 sub-bags. Each of these 9 sub-bags, apart from bag 9, has other smaller bags inside them - think of them as sub-sub-bags.

Oh, and these bags are filled with people and each bag, including sub-bags and maybe sub-sub-bags, are in competition with each other.

What are the bags and their many many sub-bags fighting for?

Have a listen and find out.

///

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Napoleon, we've seen him wild with anger, we've seen him quiver with rage, we've seen him snuff with impunity. Now it's time to see Napoleon calm as a clam - a clam that also happens to control one of the world's most significant military forces.

Fresh from a light ride, and with his full-bodied narcissistic fury bottled safely and healthily inside, clam Napoleon is ready to chat like a big clam.

Casual, cool, calm, clam - prepare yourself for the most relaxing seafood encounter you're likely to have this week, with France's most reasonable and normal shellfish emperor.

///

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We start with three noble Barry’s: Barry the Bugler, Barry the Bodyguard and Barry the Burger (horse). Will the Barry’s successfully escort their leader, who might also be called Barry, along the yellow brick road to find out who’s behind the curtain?  

Will they succeed? Will they successfully stop the war? Or will they each get a faceful of snuff? 

Whatever happens, we can all agree, it’s absolutely NOT like rain on your wedding day. 

 ///

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Don't be coconut shy, come on down to the WAPIN7 Fête!

We've got dodgems, teacup rides and a coconut shy! Plus an area to sell secondhand goods. It must be fate.

Fancy some candy floss?! Well, the machine is broken so you can't have any.

Oh, and we're off to war...

Again.

 ///

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We're back for Book 9 and boy is this going to be bad!

Not the podcast, cross our saucy little fingers, but the world of War and Peace.

It's been way too long since we heard from that Napoleon chap and we really got the feeling that he wasn't quite finished last time. Plus we've had quite a bit of peace recently, which makes the title of the book quite ominous indeed.

Whatever happens we're in this together, so pour yourself a hot steaming cup of beef tea and join us for Book 9!

 ///

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