Warped

Warped

By Warped: The Unnecessary Star Trek PodcastComedyTV & FilmArtsPerforming Arts
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Warped episodes

  • Episode 249 - Realm of Fear
    On today's Warped, our favorite weirdo is back, IT'S LT BARCLAY TIME!!!!!!!   The crew is jazzed because they finally see themselves on the screen.  In this episode Barclay hates the transporter and the crew....agrees f... that s...!  Anyways as we wade thru the awkwardness that is the Lt drinking water, we discuss men's reluctancy to go to the doctor (don't be a Barclay see a doctor is there's something wrong).  Enjoy

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    50 min
  • Episode 60 - The Cat From Outer Space (Part 2) (Bonus Commentary)

    If black widow spiders feed on the remnants of your Three Cheese Pizza Stuffed Buttery Jack Gorditas while you fall asleep podcasting, and then they bite you, what superpower would you gain?

    A) The ability to weave together disparate pop culture ingredients to create a wonderful cacophony of taste, confusion, and strong muscle cramps in the stomach, shoulders, and back area.

    B) Buttery, Teflon-coated spider webs shoot out of your orifices. It feels really good, looks like mozzarella stringed cheese, and tastes like... well, use your Warped After Dark Imagination why don't you.

    C) Narcoleptic fits during periods of severe emotional distress. Uncontrollable urge to fidget spin spider webs at all other times.

    D) Intense pain, sweating, nausea and vomiting. Teary eyes, difficulty breathing. If you find your starship engaged at warp 9 for more than 14 hours, avoid all energized clouds and contact your nearest Federated Poison Control Center immediately.

    Or would you just be stupid and dead? Welcome to Warped bonus commentary episodes, folks! Do we even care what "superpower" means? 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    6 min
  • Episode 59 - The Cat From Outer Space (Part 1) (Bonus Commentary)

    Scheduling note: We are currently back on the ranch laying down some sick commentaries for your ears. Once we have bamcked a few we will get back to a once a week format, until then we will be on an every other week schedule. so this week enjoy some more bonus content


    INTERSTELLAR-POL RED NOTICE. Wanted by Federation Alliance.

    ALIAS: Warped Crew.

    DISTINGUISHING MARKS AND CHARACTERISTICS: Weird, funny sounding voices. P may have a deformed left thumb and missing rib cage. M is between 150 and 370 m&ms tall. Q may be balding or may be bald or has balded and will bald.

    CHARGES: Endangerment of their own selves by podcasting amongst black widow spiders while consuming inordinate amounts of Taco Bell. Dangerous and outlawed body modification experiments to allow human-microphone hybrid interfacing. Early to late-80's pirating of shitty old school live-action Disney movies on VHS tapes from local mom'n'pop video shops. Failure to be kind and rewind. 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    9 min
  • Episode 248 - Time's Arrow Part 2
    I know we say this a lot, but we're back.  Look it's hard out there for podcaster, especially one's that don't make any money.  We don't do it for the money, but we do have to have other jobs so there you go.  Anyways  we are back and hopefully we will be more productive this year.  It's a new year and we are starting off with a new season.  That's right it's season 6 of Next Generation and we are watching the thrilling conclusion of "Data meets Mark Twain".  We learn all about why Mark Twain is in San Francisco, what a good production of Hair has to contain and play one of our favorite games.  Hope you enjoy

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    51 min
  • Episode 58 - Assignment: Earth (Bonus Commentary)
    Beep. It's getting Fast and Furious up in this Warped podcast bay. This time the crew roll up their sleeves and talk shop about the ol' rust bucket. Beep beep. Jacob demonstrates his marketing genius BEEP!! WARNING alligators detected--beep beepBBEeeEEPPPPP!!!! 

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    8 min
  • Episode 57 - Bread and Circuses (Bonus Commentary)
    This week, the Warped crew have a conversation about some bad people doing bad things. We talk about Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, sexual abuse and similar adult topics, and grappling with these realities as every day human beings. If any of this is triggering to you, feel free to skip to our next care-free episode of this future sci-fi utopia we call Star Trek. 

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    13 min
  • Episode 55 - The Omega Glory (Bonus Commentary)
    Hey, Becky just told me that someone called the cops on this house party. So we got about 10 minutes max before we gotta jet. Meanwhile, let's get back to Sports talk. Jocks and nerds. Instant pot and deep fryer. Wookie dick and spotted dick. Fannies are lady parts and consent before compliments. Famous rivalries all. We learn which one comes in a can and which one is chewy.  Yo, Shawn's having people over at his place. Don't tell anyone. See ya there! 

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    9 min
  • Episode 52 - Return to Tomorrow (Bonus Commentary)

    And that kids, is how Uncle Spock got his pointy ears. Good night now. Sweet dreams! Shhh... **tuck** **kiss** **closes door** **pours stiff Romulan ale** **sits down**

    Now, for a little adult-oriented "wheeeee" time. Put on some headphones and join us, as the Warped crew sneak in some bawdy tales from dusty deserts. Here, we glimpse the early beginnings of Minh's pon farr. Why would a man choose to walk the desert so? For spiritual enlightenment, or just the boobies?

    Erin demands that we Punch that Triangle! Typical. K-erin. 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    13 min
  • Episode 51 - A Private Little War (Bonus Commentary)

    Greeting Warpies


    Just a heads up on what to expect for the fearless drew of the NCC-0420 Starship Warped. The rest of the year will be filled with more Bonus Commentary episodes (If you like what you hear go to www.patreon.com/warped and become a patron for only $5 a month and get access to all the bonus episodes) We will return in January with all new episodes.


    Warpedddd... After Darrkkkkkk! We're getting fired the eff up, popping shots of that sweet angel dust, and spilling moonshine all over the electronics. The crew get a little sloppy and talk lady parts. That's right, if you have too many kids your vagina can fall out! You heard it here first.  D.A.R.E. to not do drugs, kids... or too many kids, drugs. But if you do (don't), definitely (do) order pizza from Pizzaroni's before hand. 


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    15 min

About Warped

From the publisher's feed

On this show, join Matt, Shawn, and friends as they make their way through every Star Trek episode ever aired - IN ORDER - and listen to a unique audio commentary track that can be enjoyed…