Warped

Warped

By Warped: The Unnecessary Star Trek PodcastComedyTV & FilmArtsPerforming Arts
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Warped episodes

  • Episode 120 - Datalore
    Yes, this is the "Shut up, Wesley" episode, and that just needs to be said right at the top. We're not watching Leaving Las Vegas today; I don't know if we could take it, but we can celebrate Nicolas Cage like a good podcast should. Shawn talks Star Trek Beyond to put us back on topic. The verdict stands that Brent Spiner makes this whole episode work, and a bottle of Chateau Picard makes Matt work for this show. Are you a fan of the beach more as a concept than a reality? Then Minh is your guy. He and Anakin Skywalker are NOT excited about the prospect of sand. The secret password for this episode is "Crystalline Entity". Don't forget it! 

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    1 hr
  • Episode 119 - The Big Goodbye

    Jake gives the crew a friendly, completely on-time "hello" when he makes it to the recording of this episode.  

    Minh takes a crack at Tom Hanks movie trivia. For our returning listeners, you'll probably know how to bet on the over-under.  

    If you were ever curious about what LARPing is like, just watch any Star Trek holodeck episode.  

    We open up an email service to provide emergency care to all those negatively affected by Minh in his more monstrous moments of fan-rage. Matt wades through Chekov slash fiction to deliver us some peeled grapes. 

    And, finally, we release the CRACKLE during Corrections Corner, if only so we never have to talk about Corky Romano again.


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    1 hr 17 min
  • Episode 118 - Haven

    Content Warning: this week's episode contains some scenes of "Full-Frontal Aludity." We put words into Gene Roddenberry's mouth in an effort to get him to speak for himself. Erin wins the show by putting some rods in some berries, but all we got out of it was this lousy t-shirt. 

    Somehow, Minh has managed to see a TV show that Shawn has not seen, and the show gets thrown completely off course. Jake lures in the hardcore Star Trek fans with references to the Qowat Milat and the practice of Absolute Candor. 


    Really, all I can do is quote Minh by saying, "It was a fun and awkward episode." Was he talking about Star Trek or Warped? The answer is "Yes." 


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    50 min
  • Episode 117 - Hide and Q

    Through freakouts and breakdowns, Warped is in the house, staying strong in the face of adversity and mulling over some post-quarantine tattoo ideas. Jake's microphone issues are giving him the "Dateline Whistle Blower" treatment. Quick breakdown of some of our favorites: favorite time-traveling scientist, Christopher Plummer, favorite famous doctor, Dr. Dre. If you could look like anything would you pick bowling ball chicken head, or young Brad Pitt? I know. Choices!  

    Minh recounts his impoverished upbringing and the family dog that, while he was growing up, was almost like having an animal in the backyard. We get nostaligic about the musical trends of the 90's, and offer to visit one another with our six-foot tree clippers to help whatever hair situation you have going on during the quarantine. 

    We're having some trouble coming up with a mnemonic device to remember the functions of rods and cones, but then again, these are just two things and maybe we should just try a little harder if it's that important.  We channel our inner BuzzFeed and finally designate each crew member as a one of the main characters on Friends. 


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    1 hr 3 min
  • Episode 116 - The Battle
    Sit down with some tea and biscuits and let us tell the tales of our most recent emotional breakdowns. Philippe and Erin are not into the Ferengi transporter sparkles, apparently, but hey, their children are just little babies who don't see age. Farrah Fawcett takes us on a tour of Charlie's Angels old and new. While Jake drops a bomb, a party of five sharks jumps the River(dale). Matt really digs Shawn's new mountain look. We have comic talk in Correction Corner, and praise Casablanca, Dua Lipa, and Nine Inch Nails in our Warped Recommendations. We have very eclectic interests!

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    1 hr 16 min
  • Episode 115 - Justice
    This week kicks off with a question: what can we get down Minh's mouth hole? Philippe's sense of humor does a lot of world building and stuns us into silence. He also reminds us that Tasha isn't comfortable unless she's in a crowd. Minh isn't used to seeing so much body hair on men, a hard truth many of us face every day. Our friend from Canada had this episode recorded on VHS back in the day, and there were definitely some parts of the tape that were worn out.  In the game of "What Will Minh Say?", everybody loses no matter what. Let us introduce you to our newest sponsor: the game of "Ball". Need a break from sex? Try Ball! Here at Warped we frequently push the boundaries of acceptable behavior, but you'll be relieved to know that we draw the line at baby blood. Yikes! 

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    1 hr 18 min
  • Episode 114 - Lonely Among Us

    Erin brings the full force of her popcorn horde to bear on the Lonely Among Us. We play some pool games with Marc Alaimo. There's a certain medical visor that Dr. Crusher wears that instantly becomes an enemy of the show. Starfish can be pretty gross; don't believe the rosy starfish propaganda that's been floating around. The crew channels the spirits of the team that created the alien costumes for this episode. *Bark* *Bark*. Shawn misses golf, which is shocking to Minh, for some reason. Don't get Philippe and Jake started talking about siphonophores. That could take up your whole evening. We come up with a new game that tries to do the impossible: predict the next out-of-alt-right-field thing that Minh is going to come up with.


    We are shocked and appalled by what this episode turned into and demand that our names be removed from the project. Stay tuned for Matt's Christine Baranski podcast, coming soon.


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    58 min
  • Episode 113 - Where No One Has Gone Before
    Everyone thanks their "femailman" for the dedicated service they continue to provide. Matt takes a stand for fat people representation. We try to understand the nature of Wesley's new sweater buddy. Erin tells us about her unfortunate encounters with the bidet. In Correction Corner, which Matt does, says he won't do, and then does anyway, we go hard for Meredith Baxter and soft for Stephen Collins. Minh takes us home with one of his trademark apt comparisons. We hope all our listeners are hanging in there and we're grateful that you'll continue to join us in flinging our collective anxious energy into the bottomless pit of podcast. Stay safe!

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    1 hr 3 min
  • Episode 112 - The Last Outpost
    Live and not in person from the Quarantine Zone, bank robbers from an indeterminate century convene to uphold a tradition that, at this point, feels like it must have been established by our forefathers. That tradition: Warped! We've been scattered to the winds and our respective closest Taco Bell locations are miles apart, but just like life, the Warped crew, uh, finds a way! While Minh's mind is settled squarely on foreign phalluses, Erin and Philippe drop us an erotic quarantine recommendation. Philippe reveals that he has made a huge mistake by preparing for the show. We get a lot of exciting updates during Possum Talk; try not to be alarmed if you feel a slight nibbling on your toes. We're disappointed with the first appearance of the Ferengi, but they remind us of Alf, for some reason, and that makes us happy. All in all, this episode of Trek gets the level of attention that it deserves, and while social distancing may break us apart, love will keep us together.

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    59 min
  • Episode 111 - Code of Honor

    Welcome to the episode of TNG that brought shame to the entire cast, with one notable exception. Minh pours one out for the homies, and Shawn cleans up his mess. Erin points out the fact that Troi can probably see more than anybody else, but Matt wisely suggests we change the subject. Most of the crew catches up on the whole Parasite phenomenon. MOST of the crew...


    Anyways, we find some cool uses for brewer's yeast right before going hard for Corky Romano, Coneheads, and Napoleon Dynamite. Remember, everything is legal on the holodeck, but that doesn't mean it's cool.


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    1 hr 10 min

About Warped

From the publisher's feed

On this show, join Matt, Shawn, and friends as they make their way through every Star Trek episode ever aired - IN ORDER - and listen to a unique audio commentary track that can be enjoyed…