WARRIOR WEEK

This week's episode is one you do not want to miss: The story of the soldier known as Isaiah Melendez. In the midst of Warrior Week 53, Coach Sam welcomes Isaiah aka Coach Mercenary to the show where they have a conversation about war, about honoring the innocent children who have fought and died in war, and how within each one of us is an innocent child. They launch their new project, CHILD OF WAR and describe its inception and purpose.

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• After eight years of military service where he experienced constant structure and discipline, Isaiah emerged into civilian life and realized he had lost his identity. Having been deployed at the age of 18, everything he knew about being a man was ingrained within him in the army.
• "There was something that was pulling me out of the army. It didn't make fucking sense on paper, but I knew I had to get out; I knew there was something outside of the military for me."

When have you felt a pulling towards something in your life that didn't make sense but felt right?

• Five years after leaving the army, Isaiah was dying inside; he was broken. That is when he felt and heard the call of Warrior. There was a beauty in how natural everything happened when he was first introduced to Warrior.
• "It made zero sense for me to accept what I was hearing, yet the feeling was the same feeling I felt in leaving the army. I couldn't process it, but I knew this is what I was searching for."

What do you do when you hear the Voice?

• From an early young age, Isaiah knew he was called to lead men. It started with sports, then church, then the army, yet there was always something missing.
• It was during his second experience at Warrior Week where he felt the calling, where he felt that he could no longer run away, where he knew he was someone that would bring light to others.

What have you instinctively known about your calling and life's work since childhood?

• Coach Sam: I grew up in a country of war, where children were asked to go to the front line. I've seen the dead children, the so-called martyrs. The truth is, they're innocent. We honor that child, as well as the innocent child in all of us.
• Coach Isaiah: The child is from God and knows how to love unconditionally. But every day, we neglect that child because we say we have to be an adult. Right now, we fight this war internally to get back to that child.

How do you honor and remember the innocent child within you?

• The first infantry division is a mechanized infantry, meaning they are the tanks known as the King of Battle. They handle the big shit.
• The foot soldiers of the infantry are known and the Queen of Battle because they can get through the nooks and crannies of the smaller details.

What has been your experience with the military?

"Inside of this place rises a power that is uncommon; the power and the fuel that drives the fury of a man to build a life, not just to live life."

—Sam Falsafi

"I began following in the footsteps of others and had become a younger version of those whom I was following. It was at this point I found myself nearly dead."

—Isaiah Melendez

Coach Sam and Coach Kevin have a discussion about the shit that no one talks about. The societal taboo around topics such as miscarriage, sex, masturbation, death, and porn are stripped away in this week's important and candid conversation.

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• Some of us don't talk about something because it has happened to us and it's painful, or we feel guilt and shame around it because it's not "supposed" to happen.
• Then there are some of who don't talk about it because it didn't happen to us, we feel guilt and shame around that and feel that we're not "worthy" to talk about it. We sometimes feel that talking about it will somehow bring it into our lives.

What stops you from talking about certain things?

• Miscarriage is more common than one might think, occurring in more 30% of pregnancies, yet it's one of those things that nobody talks about. Both Coach Sam and Coach Kevin have experienced this in their life.
• As a man, Coach Sam felt lost and paralyzed; he felt like it was somehow his fault. There was no blueprint available for him to follow, and no one to go to for help or answers. So he found himself turning to "Google" for help.

Where did you turn for help?

• This notion that it's unacceptable and taboo to talk about certain things like sex or masturbation is something that we see everywhere, from church groups to family, friends, and social media. To bring it up in a conversation is considered to be totally outside of the realm of acceptable topics.
• That leads to unhealthy ideas about these natural aspects of being human because no one is guiding us. Imagine if your parents had engaged in a candid conversation about sex with you (what feels good, what a woman likes, what a man likes, etc.) instead of you having to Google it or finding out from friends??

Do you talk to your kids about sex and masturbation? Why or why not?

• The shit that we don't talk about is linked to the lies that we choose to live. As long as you don't talk about it and choose to live in a lie, you never truly access the power of the truth, which is ultimately linked to what you truly want.
• If you don't declare what you want, all you have, at the end of the day, are false desires. You're chasing some fantasy that can never exist because you never really thought about what it really means.

What lies are you telling yourself and others about what you truly want?

• Coach Kevin: I'd rather see a dude that shows me a deposit slip for $150 than a man's dream of one million dollars. The fantasy creates this beautiful illusion, then blinds you to the ugly result. The truth to any success is this: there's ugly fruit before there's the big, beautiful fruit.
• You might see the end fruit of the guy who's the millionaire, but he started with the ugly fruit at some point. It's the ugly fruit that showed him what to do to produce the bigger fruit.

What illusion or fantasy are you creating in your life by not being honest?

"At the end of the day, the reason why relationships don't work out is because of the shit we don't talk about; the fact that we lie."

–Sam Falsafi

"So many people rush into a real situation believing the fantasy because no one ever talks about it."

–Kevin Voisin

Coach Sam welcomes Smiljan Mori to the podcast this week. When Smiljan knocked on the doors of Warrior Week, he was seeking tools and systems that would enable him to serve his family in the best possible way. What he found instead was the man he had always desired to be: himself. He has since moved forward with various challenges within Warrior and is on the path to becoming a Certified Trainer as of the date of this recording.

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POINT 1: A Better Father

As he held his newborn daughter in his arms, Smiljan promised himself he would be in her life more than his father had been in his. Smiljan's memory of his father was that he was either away on business or arguing with his mother.

Despite making that promise, it was seven years before Smiljan realized he never played with his children and wasn't being the kind of father he wanted to be.

Ask Yourself:

What promises have you made to yourself that you're not following through with?

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POINT 2: False Identity

It was through his involvement with Warrior that Smiljan realized he had been running away from the responsibility of being a husband and a father, and with that realization came a massive emotional release.

Coach Sam recalls how Smiljan's life was a reflection of his own: A man traveling in a different domain, an accent just like his, and traveling most of the year; a man with a sense of significance and a false identity, who preferred traveling to remote places all over the world over being with his family.

Ask Yourself:

Where in your world are you running away from your responsibilities?

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POINT 3: Metrics

At the end of every year, Smiljan tracks the metrics inside of his business. Since entering Warrior last year, the first thing he now tracks are the number of days he is away from his family, which number has been cut in half since Warrior, with a goal to cut that number in half next year.

What has become more important than the revenue, the profits, or the Kings Cash, is not only tracking the number of days away from his family but the number of days he spends with his family.

Ask Yourself:

How many days you spend away from your family each year?

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POINT 4: Making Tough Decisions

As a successful insurance businessman, Smiljan was always willing to negotiate and make agreements with others to keep them with the company. The #1 gift he received at Warrior Week is that he is no longer afraid of making tough decisions.

When he returned from Warrior Week with an increase of masculine energy, he was met with resistance. He was more straightforward, decisive, and demanding of himself and others. Amidst this newfound energy, he has learned he needs to have patience.

Ask Yourself:

Where in your world are you making changes within yourself that are causing resistance from others?

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POINT 5: Lead With the Pain

Smiljan is noticing a shift taking place in Europe at his speaking engagements and events. Where just a year ago 90% of the participants were women, the numbers are now more like 60/40, with more couples attending together.

Smiljan has changed his energy and his message, which is attracting more men to his events. Previously, he didn't like to share his pain because he believed that by sharing the pain, people would not follow him. However, he now leads with his pain right out of the gate.

Ask Yourself:

What pain are you afraid to share?

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Parables From the Pit:

"I was the guy in the suit, and the suit was saying: I'd rather have the identity the suit is giving me than my family."

--Sam Falsafi

"I don't want to be perfect anymore."

--Smiljan Mori

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Coach Sam is joined by Coach Shahn, one of the main coaches of the KingsKit experience inside of Wake Up Warrior. He is essentially a blue collar guy who had gotten himself in a pretty sticky spot, which led him to search for something that would get his life to work. He ended up at the gates of Wake Up Warrior.

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• Shahn was participating in one of the training calls and feeling a little bit down on himself, sorely in need of a perspective shift around taking care of himself and in doing the daily work.
• There was a moment where he received a download, a flash of insight from the Voice that sunk deep into his heart: I don't do the work to become elite, I do the work because I am elite.

What is a download you have received from the Voice that has altered the way you view yourself or the way you live your life?

• As a blue-collar worker, Shahn showed up every day hustling and grinding; he got his hands dirty and built stuff.
• It was a hands-on experience of building and creating, as well as handling, maintaining, and running a business at the same time.

What are you in the process of building and creating in your world?

• Shahn has created a bridge between the blue collar man and living the Warrior's Way. Although men may do different work, they're all driven and led by the same Voice.
• Coach Sam: At the end of the day, we're all fucking blue collar. As boys, we used our hands to play and to build. It's the hands that define a man.

What did you use to build and create when you were a young boy?

• What holds a man back from building something? It's himself and the way he looks at himself. Coach Shahn was once asked what made him elite. His response? "The belief that I am elite.
• That was a monumental shift in the entire game of living the Warrior's Way for Shahn as he changed the way he believed in and saw himself. That shift in belief of who he was changed all of the results in his life.

What belief do you have about yourself at the core level?

• Coach Sam: We are building with our own hands the belief that we are elite, that we are part of His extension. I am that I am is an elite conviction of who I am.
• Most of my life I didn't have that belief. Most of my life I defined myself by what others thought about me or spoke about me.

How have you defined yourself? What weight does another's opinion of you have on your overall belief of who you are?

"When we say we are all blue collar at heart, we are saying we are all builders. The one thing we are here to build is ourselves."

–Sam Falsafi

"I believe I am cut from the same cloth as my Creator, and that's as elite as it gets."

— Shahn Ellis

Coach Sam and Coach Jesse engage in a conversation around a Pit that many men experience, the Pit of the need for money and how that need paralyzes and prevents them from moving forward.

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• What is the real problem when a man says he needs money? Coaches naturally want to coach the problem instead of the man, but that's not how solutions are found. You have to coach the person and the behavior.
• What is the actual behavior which causes men to believe they need money? In one man's case, it was found that he had been sitting on a stack of leads and hadn't called one of them; he hadn't been putting in the work.

Where in your life are you expecting results without putting in the required work?

• If you want energy, you must start moving. Someone in a place of need has stopped moving. When you say you need to make money or lose weight, it's all the same; are you moving or not moving?
• This neediness is a paralyzation and it becomes our reality of not doing anything. Once the movement is paralyzed, fuck hope.

Across all areas of your life, where do you find yourself paralyzed in your movement?

• Reaching out for help is the fucking victim reaching out to be saved so he doesn't have to do the work.
• The natural result of not moving in the direction you know you must go in is depression. Not taking action is the mindset and skillset of being a victim.

What one thing can you do today that will begin getting you what you want?

• When you're feeling stressed out, that stress triggers depression and zaps your energy. This leads to the blame game where you begin blaming your conditions and results on other people.
• Many times our patterns and behaviors can be traced back to our childhood. The collection of your behaviors have built your roadblocks. Roadblocks are a link to a series of synchronized habits

Who or what are you blaming your current results or circumstances on?

• When you say you need something vs you want something, that need becomes the roadblock. You can either go around it, through it, or stop and stare at it hoping it will go away.
• When we say we want to do something, that changes our behavior and our mindset and opens up options and possibilities to go over or around the roadblock. Want gives me options; need is an anchor for you to remain the same.

What are the roadblocks you are staring at in your life?

"Roadblocks are a link to a series of synchronized habits.

–Sam Falsafi

"Neediness is a paralyzation, and it becomes our reality from not doing anything."

— Jesse Ewell

Coach Sam and Coach Sabastian have a conversation about the cultures they were raised in, how they helped shape who they are today, and how they learned to take the best of their cultures and incorporate them into the raising of their own families.

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• Coach Sam hails from three different cultures: the Persian/Middle Eastern culture, the French Canadian culture, and the American culture. The orchestration of these three cultures has only recently been viewed as an asset to him.
• As a young man, Sam wanted to hide so he would blend in; whereas today, he sees his multi-cultural background as an asset that has weaponized his mind, weaponized the way he speaks and communicates, and has allowed him to see different perspectives.

What cultures have influenced you?

• The difference between the Eastern and Western cultures is this: One is an individualistic mindset, and the other is a collective culture mindset.
• In the Western culture mindset, when one is considering marriage, it is based on what the individual wants. In the Eastern culture, the question becomes, "Will my parents like her?" All the questions asked are not individualistic, they are based on a collective culture and your family unit.

Do you practice the mindsets of your youth? Why or why not?

• Coach Sam freed himself from the demands of the collective culture. On the one side, there is beauty because you're involving loved ones. On the other side, it's total slavery to what everyone wants vs what you want.
• It's basically an abandonment and total rejection of doing what others want him to do, coupled with an integration of the mindset of doing what he wants that has led him to adopt a system that carries the best of the East while operating in the Western world.

What have you rejected from your childhood teachings?

• Coach Sabastian: As our cultures collide, just as we collide in our conversations, it's not what's right or wrong, it's what works in the context find ourselves in.
• He came to America with a step-father and grew up German Catholic. "I grew up as a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant aka a WASP. " He later learned he was Vietnamese/Chinese, another sub-category of Vietnamese people. He had to study and learn about his cultures, then reconcile with them.

What are the roots of your heritage?

• As Coach Sam raises his son, it is his role to inject into him the wisdom of the East and allow him to choose. The East doesn't present choices, they force.
• Coach Sabastian: I gave my sons the Western American culture which is abundance, and rooted them in the universal principles of love, forgiveness, and trust in God. As an analogy, a kite represents the Western culture of abundant, endless opportunities, which is tied or tethered to fundamental principles."

What are your fundamental principles?

"We are two men proud and honored to live in the West while carrying seeds of the East."

–Sam Falsafi

"The deeper you root your family in this Ethos, the higher your children will be able to fly."

— Sabastian Huynh

Coach Sam and COO of Wake Up Warrior, Cullen Talley, have an impromptu conversation in this week's episode where they uncover beautiful truths and insights as they discuss this concept of seeking.

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• During a recent meeting in his office with one of the brothers, Coach Sam had a distinct moment which many refer to as deja vu.
• While many refer to deja vu as if it is a normal, everyday phenomenon, Sam stopped and listened to the message he was receiving inside of the moment, instead of dismissing it.

How do you respond to Déjà Vu moments?

• Cullen: As men inside the Brotherhood, we are Seekers. In ways, it would be easier not to seek. Seeking sounds mystical and amazing, but it can also be painful and tiring.
• Even though we are very different, inside of that, we have a common interest. What drives that connection is that we are committed, as men, to continue to seek answers, truth, and revelation.

What are you seeking in your life?

• Two years ago, Sam declared that he was not a seeker. He was convinced that he "sucked at seeking." Today, however, his #1 priority is to seek.
• Cullen remembers seeking answers as a child as he struggled with some of the concepts he was learning He was seeking a different level of understanding than what was being taught or what he had to study

What have been some of your biggest struggles you have sought answers for?

• Coach Sam: There are empowering moments when you're alone training; it's a moment of self-reflection when you literally don't need anyone else but the certainty and confidence within you.
• Cullen: So much is happening on a cold morning where nobody's watching, where a thought or a moment opens up and you discover something. Within the seeking and space, you have discovered the combination to the lock to open a window.

What are some of the revelations you have received in quiet moments of solitude?

• Most of his life, the only thing Sam was seeking was found inside of his math classes. Two years ago, he began the Seeker's journey, transitioning from the world of information to the world of encounter.
• In the past two months, Sam's desire to return to his roots in mathematics has surfaced. He's understanding the purpose of mathematics more and more and knows it is leading him to something of significance.

What is seeking you?

"I can seek mastery of the thing that is calling me, the thing that I am being pulled towards."

–Sam Falsafi

"Oftentimes we think of seeking as this massive move from here to the moon. To me, seeking is a quarter inch at a time, a step at a time."

— Cullen Talley

Coach Sam and Coach Kevin have a conversation about how the recent addition of Warrior Woman has become a powerful part of the Wake Up Warrior empire and is empowering women to find their voices and own their worthiness.

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• For more than five years, Warrior has been delivering their message to thousands of men. Many women have desired to be part of this conversation but were excluded from playing the game of the 'men only' Warrior's Way until recently after it became clear that it was time to invite women to have this experience.
• Garrett J White, found of Wake Up Warrior, thought he had created it to lead elite men, but what he found was a way to lead an elite human being. Warrior simply acts as the container for that creation to take place for men and women inside their families.

What is your experience with Warrior Woman?

• Coach Kevin Voisin, who has been an integral part of assisting thousands of men in Warrior Week, first felt a calling to teach and lead women in the Warrior's Way a year ago and is now the head trainer for the Warrior Woman movement.
• Coach Kevin: The first thing we're seeing is an increase in sex across the board. We're also seeing massive collisions inside of their families which is a result of arming the women with the tools to use their voice in communicating what they want when in the past, they have kept their desires silent.

How has the increase in collisions in your relationship changed the dynamics of your marriage?

• A lot of men use Warrior to hide and will tell their wives, "I'm doing my CORE4 and Warrior shit." Now with both the husband and wife living the Warrior's Way, there's no place to hide.
• When Coach Kevin and his wife, Whitney, who is also a trainer inside of Warrior Woman, recently had a fight, she told him to "go fucking Stack that shit and give it the title, "I'm Acting Like a Fucking Toddler."

How has home life changed since your wife returned from Warrior Woman?

• When a man enters the house all emotional and upset, many women and children believe it's their fault and look for ways to fix it.
• Warrior Woman is teaching Women to find their voice inside of this, helping them realize this behavior belongs to the man, not to them.

Gentlemen, how often do you blame your wife or children for your emotional outbursts?

• When a man goes into the Pit, which was co-created by his wife, he leaves her in there while he climbs out, yet one of man' s biggest drives is to have connection with his wife.
• Your wife will pull you back into the Pit because you've trained her to control the fucking Pit. Your best version as a married and family man is directly proportional to the best version of your wife.

What are you hearing from this conversation?

"At the end of the day, every man came from a woman, and there's nothing you can do to undo that. The Universe has already created that blueprint of creation."

–Sam Falsafi

"One of the big benefits we're seeing is that men and women are finally speaking the same language."

— Kevin Voisin

In this week's episode of Parables from the Pit, Coach Sam and Coach Jesse have an open conversation about sex, orgasms, expectations, and connection. Jesse shares a recent experience with his wife which sends him to the pit, where he questions his worth and the state of their marriage. He shares the gift he received through Stacking this experience, which is a total game-changer for himself and the brotherhood.

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• Inside the Warrior's Way, there is something called a Stack which is basically a questionnaire surrounding the stories that we tell ourselves. It gives men an opportunity to re-evaluate those stories, and through this process, they are able to find new stories that better serve them.
• Inside of the one thousand plus members of the brotherhood, men are occasionally influenced by others' stacks. Coach Jesse's recent Stack is an example of one that has had a massive ripple effect inside the brotherhood.

How has using the Stack changed the trajectory of your life?

• Jesse's Stack was fueled by a recent experience with his wife as they were having sex. Because she didn't orgasm, he began making up and living inside of stories about their marriage.
• While inside the pit of guilt, shame, and blame, Jesse started creating a story about his wife. "She didn't have an orgasm so that means I didn't please her, she doesn't like sex, and she doesn't like me anymore."

What does your Sex Pit look like? What sends you there?

• Men feel like they are the performer and their wife is the audience. As long as their wife has an orgasm, life is good. But if she doesn't, men question their worth, their ability to perform, and even their marriage.
• Coach Sam: Connection is robbed whenever there's this concept of audience and performer. When expectation comes into play, connection gets lost.

How does this conversation resonate with you?

• When Jesse compares the frequency and ease of his wife's orgasms to those she experienced eight years ago, that sends her to her pit of "there's something wrong with me" and Jesse to his pit of "I'm not pleasing her."
• Coach Jesse: We're not going to experience connection and intimacy by putting pressure on each other. The only way we will experience what we want is simply by just letting it be.

What kind of pressure are you putting on your wife? How does that affect your sex life?

• Coach Jesse: Did my wife and I connect? Did I see her soul, or did I just see her for sex? As men, sometimes all we're thinking is what can I do to get my wife in bed to perform vs how do I set up the conditions to connect with my wife on an intimate level?
• Coach Sam: Setting up the conditions for our wives to truly be happy is exactly the task that we have signed up for. Too often, we want to quickly get to the results because we feel we have earned the right to them.

What is more important to you: connection or results?

"As men, we're more primal. But women truly like the steps leading into an intimate connection between two souls becoming one in the moment; like two lights merging together as one."

— Sam Falsafi

"Connection is robbed when expectation gets in the way."

–Jesse Ewell

King Lerrod Smalls joins Coach Sam for an epic conversation in this week's episode of Parables from The Pit: The story of a black man from the pit.

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• Coach Sam: Let's acknowledge the fucking truth: there's an obvious separation of color – there is white and there is black. To think that they're the same is to be fucking foolish.
• There's a point of merging between all races when we realize our hearts are dancing to the same beat. We may be different on the outside, but the day we join our hearts, that's the pivoting point between us and when we become one.

Where do you find yourself inside this conversation?

• Lerrod: If you have a box of crayons and they're all the same color, it would be boring. What makes a box of crayons so fucking awesome is the fact that there are so many different colors.
• Coach Sam: The crayon box isn't the problem, as it's used mostly by kids and they just want to fucking play. The problem is the white man and the black man of 2018 who have their asses up their fucking head.

What learned prejudices do you hold against other men due to their race, religion, or nationality?

• Lerrod: The assignment was to find something that represented holding you back. So there I was in my basement looking at an image of who I no longer wanted to be: this man in a suit who was living a lie.
• Coach Sam: The man that is sitting here is the man that was forged by you. You had to literally smash the stories that day and say, "I'm going to build myself from scratch, one evolution, one decision, and one act of courage at a time."

What is one story that you need to smash in order to begin the process of rebuilding yourself?

• Lerrod leads men from experience. He took on challenges in Warrior he didn't believe were possible, with men he never had a relationship with before, and men who didn't look like him – but were facing the same challenges in life.
• Lerrod: My program is causing the conversation where a black man sees himself as a true king. It's about a man taking power and leading his family; it's about being a Daddy which is a choice and where you pour emotional connection into your children.

Are you trying to lead something you're not living?

• Coach Sam: There's no pleasure in the dark side. It's a false lift. What you're seeking is not seeking you there. When you find yourself in those environments, a small sense of awareness can give you permission to get the fuck out.
• Lerrod: The basis behind all magic is distraction: I'm showing you this, but I'm really showing you this.There's good magic which entertains, and then there's dark magic that is meant to distract you. If there's sometning in your life that is destracting you, remove it

Where in your world are you being distracted by dark magic? What steps are you going to take today to remove yourself from it?

"Truth is like a magnet. It attracts people who want to follow the same example in order to build themselves. In the merging of hearts, the mission becomes the same. And when the mission becomes the same, game fucking over. When the mission is one, there is only love."

— Coach Sam Falsafi

"There is an evolution that changed my life where one man, in a room of hundreds of men, held up a tiny tea light. One by one, each man held up his own light until the entire room was one big light. If you keep holding up your fucking light and hold a solid frame of what you believe in, another man will see that and will eventually hold up his own light."

— King Lerrod Smalls