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The wounds we carry from childhood often define how we navigate adulthood, especially in our relationships. In this deeply personal episode, we pull back the curtain on our experiences growing up with alcoholic parents and how these early traumas shaped who we've become.

From functioning alcoholics who maintained perfect appearances while chaos reigned behind closed doors, to unpredictable substance abuse that created volatile home environments—we share the raw reality of growing up in households where adult protection was unreliable at best. The conversation reveals how these experiences created our "hyper-independent" tendencies, with both of us developing a fierce self-reliance that made asking for help nearly impossible.

We explore the painful patterns that emerged in our adult relationships, particularly with manipulative partners who recognized and exploited our vulnerabilities. One host describes the gradual erosion of self-worth through constant negative reinforcement, while the other shares how betrayal by someone close to her children created new layers of trauma for her family. Through these stories, we examine how childhood wounds make us susceptible to harmful relationships, and how recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking them.

The episode also touches on healing methods that have worked for us—from the structure and discipline of bodybuilding to learning how to identify red flags earlier. We discuss the delicate balance between protecting ourselves and remaining open to genuine connection, and how parenting our own children has motivated us to break generational cycles of trauma.

This conversation marks the beginning of a deeper exploration into trauma and recovery. If you've ever felt alone in your struggles with childhood wounds or toxic relationships, this episode offers validation, understanding, and a reminder that healing—while never linear—is always possible.

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Have you ever wanted to peek behind the curtain of an emerging mental health treatment that's changing lives? Step into our world as we share our raw, unfiltered experiences with ketamine therapy—recorded just hours after Heather's infusion session.

Ketamine therapy isn't just another wellness trend. This FDA-approved treatment is revolutionizing mental health care by helping people process trauma, reduce anxiety, and break free from treatment-resistant depression. We take you through our parallel journeys—Heather as she completes booster treatments and Lacey during her initial six-session protocol—offering candid insights you won't find in clinical descriptions.

From the bizarre sensation of "dissolving" to feeling like you're living inside Fantasia, we describe what dissociation actually feels like and why it's therapeutic rather than frightening. We share practical advice about setting intentions, choosing the right music (hint: skip the lyrics), and what to expect physically as your body processes the medicine. The conversation reveals surprising benefits neither of us expected, including dramatic reductions in physical inflammation and muscle tension that linger long after treatment ends.

Whether you're considering ketamine therapy for yourself, supporting someone who is, or simply curious about cutting-edge mental health treatments, this episode offers valuable perspective from two different people at different stages of the ketamine journey. Listen as we flip-flop between patient and caretaker roles, proving that healing doesn't have to be a solo journey. Ready to explore what happens when we allow our minds to access parts of ourselves we've kept hidden? Join us for this intimate look at what happens when we let go and allow healing to happen.

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We've returned for Season 3 after months apart, with both of us navigating wildly different paths from bodybuilding competitions to wedding preparations. Our separate journeys finally converge as we catch up on everything we've missed.

• Multiple trips to Florida for cheer competitions where both kids performed well and hit "zero deduction" routines
• Intense bodybuilding prep including doing cardio while watching the kids playing in the pool
• Day-of show nutrition strategies involving bags of rice, rice cakes, pancakes and almond butter
• Palm Springs bachelorette weekend coinciding with Stagecoach festival, requiring creative transportation solutions
• Being "kicked out" by another rheumatologist despite ongoing health issues and suspected Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
• Both participating in ketamine therapy for mental health (more details in next week's episode)
• Adjusting to major life changes including quitting jobs and children becoming high school seniors
• Summer plans including hiking and spending more time together

Stay tuned for next week's episode where we'll discuss our experiences with ketamine therapy!

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Two best friends hosts Heather and Lacey accidentally create podcast magic when they hit record during their pre-show garden chat. What unfolds is a genuine glimpse into female friendship at its most authentic—unfiltered, unpredictable, and utterly relatable.

The conversation meanders through linguistic quirks (like unconsciously adopting accents from people around you) before diving into contrasting approaches to fitness and body image. Heather details her disciplined preparation for an upcoming bodybuilding competition, while Lacey humorously laments how her body "keeps the sweets and gets rid of anything of actual value" due to IBS—a refreshing counterpoint to perfectionistic health narratives.

We witness a celebration of professional growth as host Heather describes how removing "dead weight" from her life allowed her various careers to flourish simultaneously. From personal training to podcasting, spray tanning, and fitness instruction, her renaissance approach to career-building reflects the modern reality of the gig economy where professionals combine multiple passions.

Perhaps most entertaining is the unexpected discovery of "Caged Ladies," a dating website for prisoners that sparks an illuminating discussion about accountability, manipulation, and the psychology behind seeking relationships with incarcerated individuals. What begins as casual banter transforms into surprisingly insightful social commentary.

Throughout it all, authentic friendship shines brightest. The unscripted nature creates moments of surprising vulnerability, like when one host confesses, "I only yap with you"—a simple statement that perfectly encapsulates the special trust in close friendships. Enjoy this raw, unfiltered slice of friendship that reminds us all why our most treasured relationships are those where we can simply be ourselves.

Subscribe now and join us and listen back to our episode on "Secret Love Children"—it's a wild ride!

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Ever been blindsided by learning what someone really thinks about you? This raw, unfiltered episode dives into a jaw-dropping Reddit "Am I the Asshole" story that left us both stunned—a woman who overheard her boyfriend of eight years telling his friend he feels "disgusted" when he kisses her and wishes he was with someone else. Yet somehow, she's asking how to make him fall in love with her instead of walking away.

The conversation spirals into a deeper exploration of relationship red flags that many of us miss or ignore. From partners who constantly blame their exes for everything, to the slow isolation from friends and family, to those who give and withhold affection as a form of control—we break down the warning signs from our own experiences and mistakes. We discuss the fine line between showing interest in your partner's hobbies versus completely changing your personality to mirror theirs, and why constant small lies eventually create irreparable cracks in your foundation.

What makes this episode particularly powerful is our honesty about our own past relationships. We share stories about manipulative exes, the yo-yo effect of being someone's backup plan, and how trauma responses can make it harder to recognize unhealthy patterns. We challenge the cultural messaging that relationships should be difficult or that you need to "complete" each other when the truth is that the healthiest connections happen between two already-whole people who enhance each other's lives.

Whether you're recovering from heartbreak, questioning your current relationship, or trying to build better patterns for the future, this episode offers both compassionate understanding and the tough love you might need to hear. Because sometimes the most important relationship advice isn't about how to make someone love you—it's about learning when it's time to love yourself enough to walk away.

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After a heavy episode about ketamine therapy, Heather and Lacey lighten the mood with a nostalgic game of "Never Have I Ever" that quickly spirals into a hilarious confessional of their wild pasts. What begins as innocent reminiscing transforms into a revealing glimpse of their journey from chaotic youth to calm adulthood.

The hosts trade shocking stories that will have you both laughing and gasping – from Heather projectile vomiting pink cocktail all over Luke’s bedding to throwing up in a cup at a concert where someone unfortunately slipped in it later. They openly discuss blackout drinking episodes where they couldn't remember how they got home or where they parked their cars, and narrow escapes from potentially dangerous situations.

Between fits of laughter, a more profound narrative emerges about personal growth and transformation. Both women reflect on how these wild experiences eventually led them to make significant life changes. The contrast between their past selves and current lives – now centered around gym sessions, book clubs, Bunko games, and quiet evenings at home rather than bar-hopping and impulsive decisions – offers a powerful testament to their evolution.

This episode perfectly balances comedy with vulnerability, showing that even the most chaotic pasts can lead to peaceful, fulfilling futures. Whether you're reminiscing about your own youthful escapades or just enjoying their unfiltered storytelling, you'll appreciate the authentic journey these two friends have taken together and apart. Listen in and maybe consider sharing your own "Never Have I Ever" stories with them afterward!

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Stepping into the world of ketamine therapy isn't just about finding another treatment—it's about discovering possibility when hope seems lost. In this illuminating conversation with Tina from the Ketamine Clinic of Spokane, we peel back the layers of misconception surrounding this powerful therapeutic tool that's transforming mental health care.

Ketamine has suffered from mischaracterization in popular culture, but as Tina explains, this medication has been on the World Health Organization's list of essential drugs since the 1960s. Far from its reputation as merely a "horse tranquilizer" or party drug, ketamine's carefully administered micro-doses are creating breakthroughs for patients with treatment-resistant depression, PTSD, and chronic pain conditions when nothing else has worked.

What makes ketamine particularly remarkable for trauma processing is its unique ability to create a dissociative experience where patients can examine painful memories without the overwhelming physiological response that typically accompanies them. As host and patient Heather beautifully described it, viewing traumatic experiences "through a dirty window" creates the emotional distance needed for processing without being consumed by it. This effect silences the constant mental noise and self-critical thoughts that plague many sufferers, opening space for healing.

The treatment protocol typically involves a series of six to eight initial infusions followed by personalized maintenance sessions, all in a carefully designed therapeutic environment with constant monitoring. While insurance coverage remains challenging, many patients find the investment worthwhile compared to years of ineffective medications and treatments that never quite reach the root of their suffering.

Have you been struggling with treatment-resistant mental health conditions or chronic pain that conventional approaches haven't touched? The profound relief many patients experience suggests it might be worth exploring this option. Visit http://ketamineclinicofspokane.com/ to learn if this treatment might be right for you.

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Sometimes the most meaningful realizations happen when you're not trying to have them. This episode begins with celebrating a small victory—finally setting up our video camera after years of saying we would—before diving into the fascinating results of our dating app experiment. The numbers don't lie: over 1,750 likes for one host while the other had a dramatically different experience, proving our hypothesis that dating apps create vastly different experiences for different users.

When one of us shares a recent dating disaster, complete with height lies and a woefully unprepared hiking date in 47-degree Pacific Northwest weather, it sparks a deeper conversation about boundaries. We explore that critical difference between protecting yourself and self-sabotaging potential connections. For those of us who've historically given 150% while receiving 15% in return, recognizing this imbalance early has become crucial to breaking unhealthy patterns.

The heart of our conversation turns to insights from "Things No One Taught Us About Love" by Vex King, examining how relationships often mirror our relationship with ourselves. We contrast the unrealistic romantic expectations set by John Hughes movies with the more grounded reality of mature love—not about finding perfection, but "coming home to yourself, then choosing someone who aligns with you." Our healing journeys have brought us to understand that true connection isn't based on transactions or codependence but on wholeness meeting wholeness.

Between fits of laughter and moments of profound clarity, we share updates on past situations that demonstrate karma truly does come around. These stories remind us that growth isn't linear, but it is happening. We're recognizing red flags earlier, setting better boundaries, and learning that processing trauma takes time—all while maintaining our sense of humor about life's absurdities.

Have you experienced similar revelations in your dating life? We'd love to hear your stories of boundaries, growth, and those hilariously awful dates that taught you something valuable about yourself.

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From awkward teenage proposals to social media engagement stunts we never agreed to, our worst proposal stories reveal the messy reality behind those picture-perfect moments everyone expects.

Nothing says romance like being proposed to at "the dystopian version of Chuck E. Cheese" on April Fool's Day, or waking up at 3 AM to a boyfriend suddenly deciding marriage will solve everything after his pastor father caught you being intimate. We share four engagement stories each, ranking them from merely uncomfortable to absolutely cringe-worthy.

The proposals range from subtle red flags (like silently slipping a ring on someone's finger while driving) to outright disturbing (a high school ex appearing sweaty and desperate in the hallway, requiring security intervention). Perhaps most shocking is the social media "engagement" one of us discovered only after friends started sending congratulatory messages about a proposal that never actually happened.

These stories highlight an important truth: bad proposals often reveal fundamental relationship issues that are easy to ignore in the moment. We explore what made us say "yes" despite the circumstances, and why these relationships ultimately didn't work out. We also discuss what we'd want in future proposals and weddings now that we've learned from past experiences.

Want to share your own bad proposal story? We'd love to hear it! Connect with us on Instagram or Facebook – we manage them separately, so you'll get different content on each platform. And don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for our upcoming episode featuring Tina from the Spokane Ketamine Clinic.

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In this hilarious and eye-opening episode of We Are NOT the SAME, hosts Lacey and Heather dive into the wild world of dating apps! Buckle up as they share their latest updates on the apps they've downloaded—it's a journey filled with unexpected surprises and more than a few good laughs!

Heather reveals some of the outrageous messages she’s received, and trust us, you won't believe what’s out there in the dating universe! From cringe-worthy pickup lines to outrageous profiles, Lacey and Heather dissect the highs and lows of digital romance with their signature wit and humor.

Join them as they explore the modern dating landscape, sharing their experiences, insights, and some side-splitting stories that highlight just how different (and entertaining) dating can be in the digital age. Whether you're swiping, matching, or just curious about the dating app frenzy, you won’t want to miss this wildly entertaining episode!

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