When it comes to our friends, family and loved ones, do we know how they're really going? As close as we might be, sometimes it's hard to tell. In this bonus episode of 'We need to talk'. We explore the 2021 R U OK?Day message: Are they really OK? Ask them today. We chat about when and how to ask "are you OK?" and how to make it a part of your everyday. Because a conversation could change a life.

In this episode of 'We need to talk'. We tackle the big question of "what if extra support is needed?" We discuss what getting help and support might look like and how can we stand alongside our friends and loved ones as they try to find what works for them.

Life can be challenging and on top of the usual pressures people who are LGBTIQ+ might be subject to minority stress, prejudice, discrimination, violence and abuse. While most LGBTIQ+ people lead healthy and happy lives, the impact of stigma and discrimination is that LGBTIQ+ people are more likely to experience depression and anxiety and be at risk of self-harm and suicide. But what can we do to support a loved one who's impacted? In this episode we chat with Dr Vanessa Lee-Ah Mat and Tarnia Lee from Qlife about what minority stress is, how we can talk to our loved ones about what might help them and explore some safe spaces and places they can turn to for support.

You're worried about someone and want to reach out to them and ask, "are you OK?". But you don't want to say the wrong thing or make it worse for them. It's normal to feel a bit worried or uncomfortable about asking someone how they're going. That's why in this episode we'll be answering the question "Am I doing this right?" by looking at how you can prepare for an R U OK? conversation and what you should say and do if someone says they're not OK. Because continuing that conversation could change a life.

Trust is about more than words. It's about what you do, and don't do, and it goes well beyond that one moment when you ask if someone is OK. In this episode our host Ruby Mountford will be discussing what to do before, during and after an R U OK? conversation to create a sense of trust. Because without trust, it's hard for people to open up and share what's really going on in their lives and how they're really feeling.

Our guests are Sara Scarlet Strawn, a mental health advocate and our host Ruby's platonic partner in crime and Rachel Kohler, an R U OK? supporter who'll be talking about what helped them feel they could finally share their true authentic self with the world.

While the signs someone's struggling can be subtle, there are things you can look out for that can indicate when someone needs your support. In this episode we discuss the signs it might be time to ask R U OK? - the changes in what someone's saying or doing and what might be going on in their life or the broader community that could mean it's time to reach out to them, ask them how they're going and show them they're supported. Find more tips at ruok.org.au

There's a moment where your brain lights up when you realise someone gets it. That what we're experiencing and feeling about life, attraction, gender, sexuality isn't something we have to face or deal with alone. But this only happens when there's real authentic connection. In this episode we explore what that looks like, how it makes a difference and why vulnerability is something to be celebrated.

Our guests are LGBTI activist and R U OK? Community Ambassador Craig Mack who shares how regular check-ins with a friend saved his life and former monk, author, resilience expert and Chair of the R U OK? Conversation Think Tank Kamal Sarma who gives us the low down on what the research tells us about the power of connection and conversation.

If this episode brings up tough feelings or experiences and you need some extra support, we urge you to reach out to someone you trust or contact one of the following services: QLife on 1800 184 527 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

If you'd like to contact the show you can email us at [email protected]