We Want The D

It's possible (and these day's maybe even likely) that you've felt trapped, shut in, and unable to escape from your current circumstances. But have you ever wanted to get to a place where the grass is greener so desperately that you'd build a makeshift hot air balloon to float you and seven other friends and family members to safety and freedom? If so, D-Lovers, then you might find a lot to relate to in NIGHT CROSSING. And if not, well, you'll still be treated to another entry in Disney's tonally incongruous 1980's filmography.

It's Mardi Gras, baby! And just because we can't be in the streets of the French Quarter doesn't mean we can't celebrate in our own way, which means we watched THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG. It's a significant movie of firsts and lasts for Disney, so Vicky, Nolan and Jill have a lot to unpack here - but Mama Odie told us to dig a little deeper, so we're only following instructions.

Further reading: THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG: REWRITING JAZZ AGE HISTORY AND CULTURE from The Black Atlantic

All things must come to an end, and so the time has come to bid farewell to the definitive Disney sports team - though just a few week away from their Disney+ return/reboot. D3: THE MIGHTY DUCKS sends the ragtag group of hockey players off rather appropriately - with them finally learning how to actually play hockey, free of trick plays and illegal moves. But it also means a reduced role for Gordon Bombay, an unearned shoulder chip for Charlie Conway, and a total sidelining of star player Adam Banks. It's not quite a thrilling conclusion, but hey, the Ducks were never one to do things conventionally.

On the surface, THE UGLY DACHSHUND seems like pretty standard 1960's Disney fare - low stakes slapstick-ish comedy, the enjoyment of which will largely depend on how much any given viewer likes dogs and seeing them make messes. Dig a little deeper, however, and a darker portrait of a nearly dysfunctional marriage reveals itself. The couple that owns these dogs love them, at least purportedly. But the real question is - do they even love each other?

Y'all might thing you know Disney's Mulan, but do you know MULAN (2020)? Cause this Mulan is different. This Mulan has magic powers. This Mulan has a silent, possibly imaginary bird friend. This Mulan has less thematic resonance. This Mulan's production has problematic associations with the Chinese Communist Party. It's a whole big thing with lots to unpack, so let's not waste anymore time and just get to it.

Recall the tale of Pinocchio, the story of a wooden puppet brought to life and all his many misadventures. Recall the wish that animated his wooden body, granted by the Blue Fairy and made upon a star by an old toymaker. Haven't you always wondered, D-Lovers, just what that lonely, single man was up to while Pinocchio was off on his own? If you're anything like our hosts, the answer is a resounding 'no.' Yet, thanks to the Wonderful World of Disney, we have our answer to a question no one asked in the form of the TV movie GEPPETTO.

You're old news, Pacino and De Niro in Heat. Step aside, DiCaprio and Pitt in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. It's time to let the big dogs out - or rather, the big dog and big bear. Because Disney's WHITE FANG features the long-awaited and still-to-be-topped pairing of esteemed animal actors Jed the wolfdog (who we last saw journeying with Natty Gann) and Bart the Bear. Oh, and Academy Award nominee Ethan Hawke is there too, for whatever that's worth.

It's an episode of first and lasts this week on We Want The D. We bid a not-necessarily fond farewell to director Vincent McEveety, who has sometimes delighted but generally plagued us through several of Disney's 60s/70s offerings over the past few years. But we also sneakily start to pivot to the untapped podcasting market of true crime storytelling. Because SUPERDAD just so happens to star one Bob Crane, who both in this movie and in life wasn't really all that super.

We're closing out the year with another Disney epic. But it's not a swashbuckling adventure or a superhero extravaganza, it's THE HAPPIEST MILLIONAIRE. A classic (or should we say dated) comedy musical that tells the story of...well, we're not really sure. A father who keeps gators in his upscale Philadelphia home? A daughter who wants to find love unfettered by her promising boxing career? A butler with a sunny outlook thanks to a made-up word? It's gotta be something, cause this movie is almost three hours long!

We're wrapping up the winter of our discontent with a more modern, more direct-to-video installment with MICKEY'S ONCE UPON A CHRISTMAS. This Disney holiday releases features a trio of stories clearly targeted towards very young children, yet still somehow featuring concepts and ideas that will prompt difficult questions for parents to answer. For our hosts' part, they've never felt sorrier for Donald, never loved Goofy more, and as for Mickey...they've got nothing against Mickey.