Welcome to Horror

In 2021, three podcasters went into a Zoom chat and were never seen again. The recordings of that meeting, believed lost, were recently recovered, and it became clear that they were talking about the 1999 phenomenon that was “The Blair Witch Project”.

A film with more arguing than the last time we covered an Argento movie; featuring more snot than a classroom of toddlers in winter; and certainly the first film we’ve all seen shot on handheld cameras, featuring 1 girl and 2 guys alone in the woods, that was rated 15.

Along the way we discuss “The Squid Game”, “Boys From County Hell”, “Foundation”, “The Green Knight”, “The Lords of Salem”, “Altered”, “The Last Witch Hunter” and “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2”.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES - THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED REMOTELY, AND THEN THE TAPES WERE DUG UP IN THE FOUNDATIONS OF AN OLD BURNT OUT BUILDING IN THE WOODS.

We hide our guilt, chill our bones and look for the tenth number as we watch “Ghost Storeis” by Andy Nyman and Jeremy Dyson, adapted from their smash hit stage play.

A film in which Daddy’s got Meow Meow; we all get to play Finger-Mouth with the dead; and Martin Freeman makes Adam look a right prat.

Along the way we discuss the original stage version, Charlie Brooker’s “Dead Set”; the SNL Vincent Price specials; and the script of unmade horror film “The Otherwise”, by Mark E. Smith and Graham Duff.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES - THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED REMOTELY.

Once upon a Sunday dreary,

3 podcasters tired and beery,

Considered which film would hopefully bore none -

They gibbered ‘neath the heaving shelves,

of DVDs and asked themselves,

“What’s got a great cast? Something a bit more fun?” -

All at once they realised the one,

And a nervous excitement had begun,

“Of course! We’ll watch The Raven by Roger Corman!”

Along the way we discuss Shudder original “Jakob’s Wife”, Alan Moore’s “The Show”, “Utopia” and “The era Expanse”.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES - THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED REMOTELY.

We’re joined by Claire for her birthday choice; Danny Boyle’s apocalyptic vision “28 Days Later”.

A film in which Tommy Shelby overcomes a coma-inducing head injury to master parkour and kick the fuck out of a bunch of squaddies; the Ninth Doctor has unsavoury plans for Miss Moneypenny; and Mad Eye Moody comes a cropper with a crow.

Along the way we discuss “28 Weeks Later”, Abattoir Fermé’s “Monster!”, “Blood Red Sky” and “The Empty Man”

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES - THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED REMOTELY.

It’s Lady Jennifer’s birthday choice, and she’s selected none-more-‘90s-sexy-drac-fest “Interview With The Vampire”.

A film in which a moody Brad Pitt is forced to stand in a trench; Trigger teaches piano; and a puppet of Tom Cruise gives one of the better performances.

Along the way we discuss “Fanny Lye Deliver’d”, “Rick and Morty”, “Undergods”, “The Raven” and the podcasts “Eerie Essex” and “The Alexei Sayle Podcast”.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES - THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED REMOTELY.

APOLOGIES ALSO TO ANY TOM CRUISE FANS…

We turn our attention to 1992 and Bernard Rose’s exquisite reimagining of a Clive Barker short story; “Candyman”.

A film in which Ardelia Mapp from The Silence of the Lambs realises all her white friends are trouble; John Connor’s foster dad is still a major piece of shit; and we all get seduced by the deep mellifluous voice of Lieutenant Commander Worf’s little brother.

Along the way we discuss “The Field Guide To Evil”, the “Fear Street” trilogy and “Haunted”.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES - THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED REMOTELY.

Accompanied by Westley from Mos Eisley Happy Hour and As Yet Unexplained, the team visit Headstone Manor for “Bloodbath at the House of Death” - a harrowing account of a real life haunting and multiple murder (well, not really, but if it’s good enough for those bullshit artists The Warrens, it’s good enough for Kenny Everett).

A film in which we see a surprisingly faithful homage to that bit in Empire Strikes Back when Luke fights Vader on Dagobah; Gambit from The New Avengers is VERY friendly with Philip from Rising Damp (probably bonded over a Nescafé); and Vincent Price trades insults with a regular from “On The Busses”.

Along the way we discuss “Fear Street Part 1”, “Loki”, “Highlander” and Tommy Wiseau’s masterpiece “The Room”.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES -CURRENT QUARANTINE MEASURES MEANT WE HAD TO RECORD THIS EPISODE REMOTELY.

The Drac is back! Following on from our last episode, we trace the Count to the present day (sort of) with “Dracula A.D. 1972”.

A film in which the police are willing to take operational orders from the Grandfather of one of key suspects in a murder case; we see the dangers for a young vampire regarding personal hygiene; and grumpy Christopher Lee refuses to perform most of his dialogue (again).

Along the way we discuss “Synchronic”, “From A Whisper To A Scream”, “Castlevania”, “Phantasm”, “Dr Phibes Rises Again” and “The Satanic Rites of Dracula”.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES -CURRENT QUARANTINE MEASURES MEANT WE HAD TO RECORD THIS EPISODE REMOTELY.

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex...

It’s 2019, Greggs launches it’s Vegan Sausage Roll; Kentucky outlaws bestiality whilst Washington State legalises human composting; and Epstein didn’t kill himself.

Our Star Wars watch-through reaches the end of the saga with ”The Rise of Skywalker”.

So put on your best Indiana Jones cosplay; sign up to Emperor Palpatine’s Onlyfans; cheer as Withnail shoots that terrible **** Hux; and say “Hehey!” to everyone’s new favourite character: Babu Frik.

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Watch (or more likely re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

FEATURES STRONG LANGUAGE.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES -CURRENT QUARANTINE MEASURES MEANT WE HAD TO RECORD THIS EPISODE REMOTELY.

Stop!

Hammer Time!

And that means a proper classic as the team enjoys 1958’s “Dracula” (or “Horror of Dracula” in the USA).

A film in which we learn that vampires cannot transform themselves into animals, especially on a tight budget; Peter Cushing doesn’t fuck about when using a hammer; and if you can’t say it with flowers - scream it with garlic.

Along the way we discuss “In The Earth”, “Army of the Dead”, “The Visitor” and “Ash Vs Evil Dead”.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us.

APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUALITY ISSUES -CURRENT QUARANTINE MEASURES MEANT WE HAD TO RECORD THIS EPISODE REMOTELY.