This week L & L decide to become reality TV stars, and are stranded on an "uninhabited" island. How far would you go to be the last one standing? What's that horrible stench? Who are the real monsters here? He had what kind of a dick?! Grab a nerdy hunk, your lucky hat, and a rape whistle and start paddling to shore. Congratulations, you have been chosen as a contestant on...Castaways.

This week L & L visit a haunted house in order to increase our fame! Can a finger poke be considered assault? How many times must we be reminded of a character's weight? What's behind the brick wall? He ejaculated while what happened?! Hold onto your obvious and easy to guess secrets and keep your egg yolk pupils wide. It's time we turn our attention to the house on...Kill Creek.

This week L & L are stalked by a jealous ghost in a house that can jump through time. How goth can one book be? How often can one character puke? Will any of our burning questions be resolved? What is double rape you ask? Hop in you taxi and ignore the smell of rotting flesh, your zombie chauffeur knows the way. It's time for some past life regression therapy to remember Athens. It's too late to escape. Abigail has promised...Forever will you Suffer.

This week L & L meet little Natasha and learn to be careful what you say around a womb. Can you stop two cars colliding with just your torso? Would someone tell that nurse to back the fuck off? Is your baby setting traps with poop? Ah, Satan! Go ahead and chug that chocolate milk and dodge that projectile vomit. It's time to get down on the level of baby's and mice. Let's listen in on some...Baby Talk.

This week L & L stay home in hot ass Louisiana and decide it's a good idea to flip a haunted house. Should you give your enemies explosive diarrhea? Do ghosts hate death metal? Was it necessary to pop that frog? What are our controversial views on spankings? Are all rednecks this stupid? What's a bully stick? Get the hell out of your stolen bubble baths and high tail it away from those zombies. It's time we got to work fixing...The House that Jack Built.

This week L & L become locked in a struggle between good and evil...right? Why is this book so inconsistent? How does a psychic lawyer know literally everything? How can the antagonist make no impact on the story? Are you a freak for individualizing your twins? Is there a point to this book? Get your eye lazors ready and remember...blame Shaitin for all your mistakes. Let's head to the Shinar's because it's time to meet...Babel's Children.

This week L & L explore tales of festive bloodshed and holiday misfortune. Could the expression 'love me' ever be truly terrifying? Should you rethink sending your relative into a nursing home? Can a song about shoes cause chaos? Send your children up the chimney after those ghosts, and don't forget to share your Jesus capsules with the other captives. Let's stop our game of yankee swap and listen, for...Hark! The Herald Angels Scream!

This week L&L head to Dalby Department Store for some pre-holiday robbery and murder. How far will one teen go to get back at her asshole cousin?  Who's that creeping up on the spoiled rich bitch? Why do we sit on Santa's lap? Where's the car!? Make sure to check your lipsticks before applying, and don't open strange gifts. Head on over to the 7 Eleven for some cheese dip, and keep your eyes on those security cameras. Looks like it's going to be a...Silent Night.

This week L & L head to the Speed-D-Mart to pick up some covert condoms and come face to face with a psychotic killer. We they be able to handle the amount of sexism present in this book? Can you fall in love at first corpse? There's a woman doing what in the public bathroom? Why is everyone in this book rich? He ate his what?! Put on your hawaiian shirts and be ready to tuck and roll, because you have decided to...Come Out Tonight.

This week L & L hop in the car and head over to Walmart to gawk at a stranger's parenting style. Is it rude to say no to eating dirty stolen candy? How upset would you be to have a screaming demonic child forced upon you? Can teeth rot from sugar overload in only nine days? Keep an eye out for those deer headed monstrosities and keep ahead of the cops. It's time to take a trip straight into hell, so grab a fistful and fill your mouths with...Sour Candy.