Goddamnit, we missed the "not my first rodeo" jokes. They were right there.

"If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said smaller, wetter animals." - Henry Ford

Letter one: I don't want my sister pulling a coyote act at the wedding

Letter two: Recovering from an Awkward Lie

Please speak to a doctor if you or a loved one have been unhealthed.

Letter one: Help! I’m Sick of My Boyfriend Always Being Sick!

Letter two: Why Am I Addicted To Buying Figurative Painting?

"I'm normal." - Amelia

You can stick a Coexist bumper sticker on a tortoise. They won't notice.

Letter one: I Think My Husband’s Constant Demand to Get a Dog Is Sexist

Letter two: A husband took his wife’s maiden name as his middle name — but did she uphold her part of the bargain?

"More wolves!" - Gabriella

Everyone knows the opposite of sugar is onions, right?

Letter one: I Think My Partner’s Reason for Suddenly Wanting Kids Might Be Racist

Letter two: Dream Retriever: Being reminded of what’s important

Consider: The Portrait Of Dorian Goof.

Letter one: Overwhelmed by Ice Cream

Letter two: Just a Dab

Grandpop's in the memory hole, sorry. Sorry, but grandpop's in the hole now.

Letter one: Help! My Daughter Won’t Talk to Me Because I Left Her Dog Out of My Will.

Letter two: Heartbroken

Stop what you are doing and record yourself saying "Proorb." Email that recording to [email protected]. Thank you for your collaboration.

Letter one: Don't Worry About That Orb—It's Likely A Spirit

Letter two: Help, I’m Losing My Friends To Streaming

Our beloved pal Triz, crossword and looking-good expert, stops by to discuss both of those topics. We are grateful for anyone capable of doing anything in the pacific northwest this week, but especially for being a wonderful podcast guest. We only had to edit out a little bit of the clinking sound of her ice bath she recorded from. Oven in the barn—play ball.

Letter one: Perplexed in Philly

Letter two: My Interviewer Asked Me To Buy Make-Up From Her and Then Rejected Me For The Job

Whether trampled by ferrets or pursued by tiny cars, childhood wonderment is all Alex desires.

Letter one: Finder's Keepers?

Letter two: Tired of “Moocher” Son-In-Law

Inexplicable decisions by husbands and ex-coworkers haunt and torment your hosts today on WTTO.

Letter one: Man's Territorial Imperative Takes Place in His Front Yard

Letter two: My Former Coworker Wants My Company To Sponsor Her Party