My “Japanniversary” is coming up at the end of this month. I will be celebrating 22 years of living in Japan – as an American, in an international marriage, and as a mother of bi-cultural children. Community and connection are hugely important to all of us, no matter who or where we are, but the “long-term foreigner living in Japan experience” really highlights just how vital a sense of belonging is to our overall wellbeing. 

Today I talk about how my friendships, connections and sense of community have changed and evolved over the years – and how that has affected me personally. Zooming out, I also reflect on the grander scheme of things as well. Community, connection and caring for each other – as members of the human family and beings on this dynamic and interconnected planet we call home – is an imperative we can no longer ignore, hide, or distort. We have more than enough land, water, food, resources, and money for all. The question before us is: How do we want to share it? How do we want to care for ourselves, each other, and the only home we’ve got?

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Inspired by a recent line from my Buddha Doodle daily calendar, today I dive into what “compassionate listening” looks like. We tend to think of listening as an activity requiring two participants, but I think learning to compassionately listen to ourselves needs to be our starting place before moving on to others. 

Mindfulness practices like meditation, yoga, body scans, and even just enjoying your cup of coffee staring out the window help create the space and opportunity to slow down enough to really tune into our inner experience. By giving ourselves the kind attention and willingness to listen, we build the self-awareness to understand how and what we are feeling, which ultimately leads to healing.

Interspersed with personal anecdotes, this episode illustrates just how important it is to move away from the external world with all of its distractions and drains on our energy and attention, and allow ourselves to spend some time in our inner world as well.

Today’s take away questions:

1. What do I want (to do)?

2. Do I want to want (to do) that?

3. What do the answers to the first two questions tell me about the kind of person I am (or want to become)?

   
   

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The next cohort of my Nourish Program begins at the end of July! 

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Most of us would gladly trade unlimited time, money, energy – complete freedom! – for the life we currently have. Beyond even “the grass is always greener,” as a society we tend to think more (of everything) is "good” and view the limitations and constraints in our lives as “bad” things. 

Inspired by David Epstein’s recent book, “Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better,” I talk about how we can flip that script on its head and actually learn from our limits. Instead of seeing things as holding us back or preventing us from achieving our highest potential, we can view them as the hurdles required to learn how to jump over them. 

Using personal examples and larger, universal truths, I talk about how our limitations and even our suffering create the conditions within which we can learn to thrive.

The Being Well Podcast episode I first heard Epstein discuss his book: “Using Constraints to Improve Creativity, Focus, and Decision-Making with David Epstein.”

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With my birthday coming up this month, I’ve been reflecting on where I was just before my 40th birthday seven years ago. It was worlds apart from where I find myself today. Rather than judging or blaming that old version of me, I’ve come to understand that I needed to start right where I was, as difficult, despairing and despondent a place it was. 

So many of us are waiting for inspiration to strike, motivation to “build up,” or external circumstances to change before we take steps and get the ball rolling on something new or different. But the truth is that we have to take action first – just DO the thing, whatever it is – and the good feelings and emotions follow from there. 

The key is to try and “take in the good” as much as we can after we do it and truly *feel* the satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, pride, endorphins, or even recognize the self-efficacy that comes after we do. This teaches our brain to “do the thing” again next time; and that’s exactly what we need to do – over and over again. Consistency wins over intensity every time. Taking the small steps again and again is how the behavior becomes a habit, and then simply a part of who we are.

Rich Roll podcast “Pay Now, Love It Later: Why I Work Out at 4 AM & The Mindset That Wins The Long Game”

Dr Rick Hanson on how to “take in the good.”

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Today I share some reflections and introspection around recent encounters with ego – my own and others.

It looks great “on paper” and sounds wonderful to want more connection and community, but how do we do it in actual practice? with actual people? How do we accept, allow, and/or move through our differences (and see past our egos), in order to get to what really matters?

Today’s take-away is a practice related to Karpman’s drama triangle (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle), adapted from the book I’m currently reading, “Radical Responsibility” by Fleet Maull, PhD (https://www.radicalresponsibilitybook.com).

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It’s easy enough to remain calm, feel resourced, and even resourceful when life is sailing along smoothly, but what do we do when it’s not? How do we protect our peace when it’s most threatened?

Listen as I talk about how to check in with ourselves when we are feeling vulnerable, how we can change old patterns and behaviors that no longer work for us, and remember who we are. First, as human beings born into this world, we are miraculous manifestations of the universe in finite form. You are literally made of stardust. And secondly, using myself as an example, I talk about who we are uniquely and individually. One of the most profoundly impactful ways we can protect our peace is by living according to our values. 

For today’s take-away, I encourage you to find out what those values are by taking the VIA Character Strengths Profile at https://www.viacharacter.org/.

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Today I get really real – honest, vulnerable and raw – with how I’ve been navigating a heavy, difficult, bit of a bummer, worried and anxiety-filled few weeks. I know I’m not the only one, and that fact encouraged me to go for it and really share how I’ve been falling into old habits, thought-patterns and tendencies myself. As fragile, finite, limited humans we are constantly facing the same questions: 

• How do we deal with an uncertain and unknown future? 

• How do we hold steady and make our way through things being not-what-we-wish-them-to-be? 

• What can we do to provide steady support for ourselves when we can’t *make* things better? 

• How can we continue to trust, even in uncertainty?

From Pema Chödrön's Welcoming the Unwelcome:

"We are at a time when old systems and ideas are being questioned and falling apart, and there is a great opportunity for something fresh to emerge. I have no idea what that will look like and no preconceptions about how things should turn out, but I do have a strong sense that the time we live in is a fertile ground for training in being open-minded and open-hearted."

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Happy New Year! This year I chose “trust” as my one word. One of my first and favorite teachers, Sharon Salzberg has said, “Sometimes we need to just do the best we can and then trust in an unfolding.” 

The end of last year brought a supreme blessing from the Universe in my professional life, but it also brought a much more sensitive, compassionate and open-hearted presence overall for me personally. I realized that “trusting” was much more than just hoping everything works out well for my business and what I am trying to do in the world. I also need to continue to (put in the work and) trust in the unfolding I am experiencing on a deeply personal, almost spiritual level as well.

Today’s take away is the “Mindfulness Daily” 40 day online program led by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield I myself took several years ago. Each daily 10-15 minute lesson includes a short talk and guided meditation designed to assist in establishing a meditation practice. 

https://courses.tarabrach.com/courses/mindfulness-daily

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While Lisa Tokunaga originally trained in Reiki and is passionate about the power of crystals, her work is now primarily focused on facilitating quantum healing experiences. Her passion is helping others reconnect with their strengths, purpose, and wisdom. 

We invite you to start the new year off by listening to our discussion about the many different paths to healing. What possibilities might open up for you? We both base the work we do in supporting others on the premise that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do it. We all must seek out, explore and ultimately decide what healing looks and feels like to us, based on our own unique journey. Both Lisa and I hope to help facilitate deeper connections for our clients within their own Selves.

Lisa offers today’s take-away as the reassurance that “Everything is ok!” and that you *will* discover your path. One place to start uncovering it can be through contemplating the questions: “Who am I? What is it like to be me?”

Find/Follow Lisa: 

https://evergreenosaka.com

https://www.instagram.com/evergreenosaka

https://www.youtube.com/@evergreenosaka

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Join me as I take a look back at the year of the snake and what that means to me. How and where did transformation occur in my world? I pontificate about how important it is to believe in ourselves, take risks, keep trying, put in consistent effort… and then trust in an unfolding.

The themes of slowing down, stillness and silence have guided me throughout the year. It feels like they’ve come full circle as we wind down into another period of softening and slowing. I speak of some of my highlights from this year: sitting a solo at-home retreat, being able to speak with Sharon Salzberg, and finally taking an official Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Course. They’ve all contributed in unique ways to my ongoing healing, growing and evolving.

Today’s take-away is an invitation for you to take a look back at your last year and reflect. How have you grown? Where have you been? What have you gone through? What will you take forward with you?

Free online MBSR Course: https://palousemindfulness.com/

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