我自从录播客以来意识到了我的普通话发音口齿有多么的不清晰，所以我决定录一期英文的做个对比，也为了我的城市系列拉开序幕，我会出城市吐槽系。
这是第一期我会用全英文来讲述一下我生活成长的两个城市上海和墨尔本。
Hi, this is Not Ladylike, and I’m your host, Renee
Today’s episode is a little personal, a little reflective — and probably very relatable to anyone who’s ever lived in more than one city. I was born and raised in Shanghai. I’ve spent most of my adult life in Melbourne. And for years, I’ve been quietly comparing them in my head — not in a “which one is better” way, but more like…
Where do I actually belong?
So many of us live between places — physically, emotionally, culturally. And this episode is about that in-between space. About the comfort and the confusion of loving two cities that feel like home — but never quite fully being from either.
I’ve always felt that people like us — who've lived across cities — have a different kind of emotional geography. Our identity spreads out, like a map with two pins.”
P1 Shanghai
Before we talk about Melbourne, I want to take you back — to the city I came from. I grew up in Shanghai. I was born what we called the French Concession, close to the famous Kukang Building。
My Shanghai was the streets of Xuhui, primary school and the little shops and bookstores along Huaihai Road, different sections of Xujiahui, and the endless little alleys that twisted between them.
Back then, the French area was elegant but quiet — not the influencer hotspot it is today. The streets weren’t filled with tourists or café queues.
I grew up speaking mostly Shanghainese, hanging out with friends after school, walking and talking and wandering.
And even now — whenever I’m back in Shanghai — I still walk.
It’s the only way the city makes sense to me.
But today’s Shanghai?
It’s a whole different rhythm. There are hundreds of cafés, many of them better than anything you’ll find overseas.
The French Concession is crowded, full of beautiful restaurants and people taking photos.
It’s exciting, alive, constantly changing. And yet… sometimes I miss the old version of it. The one that was just a little slower. A little more mine.
P2 Melbourne
I came to Melbourne when I was 17. It wasn’t really planned in a big dramatic way. I came for school, and I just… stayed. Unlike Shanghai, which has deep roots for me, Melbourne kind of grew on me quietly.
At first, everything felt slow. The streets were wide and the city center was so spread out. But there was something calming about that — a sense of space I didn’t even realize I needed. I did my final year of high school here, then uni.
Made friends who became my support system. Learned how to live on my own, how to figure out daily life in a new country, how to be unsure of everything — and be okay with that.
I drive around in Melbourne all the time and have moved across different areas.
The weather’s moody, the coffee is elite, and the city has a kind of soft chaos — like it’s always in motion, but not in a hurry. And the coffee. I know I said that already… but seriously, the coffee.
Places like Patricia, Warung, Small Batch, Tone. They’ve ruined me forever. Melbourne doesn’t try to impress you the way Shanghai does. It doesn’t overwhelm you with its skyline or energy.
But if you let it, it slowly shows up for you. The sunset on the beachside, chilling out in Fitzroy. In the comfort of becoming a version of yourself that doesn’t have to perform all the time.
I used to think I’d move back to Shanghai.But now… I wonder if I belong to both. Or neither.Or maybe belonging isn’t a place.Maybe it’s just where you feel like yourself — even if that changes.”
If you’ve ever lived in two places or more, I’d love to hear your experience.
Where feels like ‘home’ for you? And can we ever really choose?”
🍽️ My Melbourne Go-To List
🐟 Seafood – Claypot. If you don’t know what to eat, just go to Claypot. You’ll be fine.
🔥 Hotpot – Chaoshan Beef Hotpot in the city. Quality beef, lowkey vibes.
🍜 Teochew comfort food – Chaozhou Malaysia Restaurant in Balwyn North. It’s authentic, hearty, and always hits the spot.
☕️ Coffee – Patricia is a classic, and if you’re into filter or something more niche, try Warung Coffee or Tone Coffee.
🥖 Sourdough & Bakery – Baker Bleu. Just go. You’ll get it.
🍮 Tarts – Tart Aaron. Tiny space, beautiful tarts.
🍷 Wine Bars – Public Wine Bar, Neighbourhood Wine, Alberts. All cozy, unpretentious, and full of good wine.
🍝 Italian – Scopri in Carlton. It’s elegant without being snobby.
🥩 Steak – Marbl Steakhouse in Prahran. A little fancy, totally worth it.
🇫🇷 French – France-Soir. Loud, chaotic, iconic.
来信投稿箱：[email protected]
感谢大家收听这一期《文明不李仪》。
欢迎大家和我分享你们的故事。
喜欢本期内容，欢迎点赞、订阅，转发给你们的朋友们。
我是Renee，下期见！
PS：封面是我在2012年拍的上海的某网红街，当年还没有那么红出门就能看到安静的街道，下面的照片是我在墨尔本一栋art deco的房子拍到的和我家张的一摸一样的🐱
