We're Dating the Same Guy

Would you go on a first date without alcohol? 39% of singles now say yes—and it's changing everything about modern dating. In this raw conversation, Alex Zauner (founder of Lucille's alcohol-free experiences and 11 years sober) reveals why removing liquid courage creates deeper connections and better relationships.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Opening: The first date question that changes everything
• 05:12 - Alex's story: From college binge drinking to 11 years sober
• 12:45 - The breaking point: Hospital wake-up call and commitment to change
• 18:30 - Dating sober: Navigating apps, anxiety, and authenticity
• 25:15 - Meeting her husband while sober and what that taught her
• 32:00 - Mixed relationships: When your partner drinks and you don't
• 39:20 - Why Gen Z is choosing alcohol-free lifestyles
• 45:10 - Practical sober date ideas that create real connection
• 50:00 - Final advice: Leading with authenticity in dating

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• Why alcohol-free dating creates deeper, more authentic connections
• Practical tools for managing first-date anxiety without drinking
• Creative sober date ideas that build genuine chemistry
• How to communicate your sober lifestyle in dating
• Navigating mixed relationships (sober + drinking partners)
• Why younger generations are choosing alcohol-free lifestyles
• Building confidence and social skills through sober dating

"Sober dating is not just going to help you in that relationship—it's going to genuinely help you to build your social skills and confidence in every aspect of your life. You're going to remember all the details, the jokes, your personality is going to shine through, and their personality is going to shine through." - Alex Zauner

CONNECT WITH ALEX:

Alex's Instagram: @alexandrazauner

Lucille's Bottleshop

Lucille's Instagram: @lucillesbottleshop

CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Dave from Love is Blind Minneapolis gets real about what happens when the cameras stop rolling. In this raw conversation, we dive into vulnerability in dating, trusting your intuition, and how reality TV changed his approach to relationships forever. If you've ever wondered what it's like to fall in love on national television and then learn even more about yourself in the process, this episode gives you a window into all of it.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Introduction: Reality TV obsession & Dave's controversial Love is Blind journey
• 04:15 - What Dave wishes everyone knew about his Love is Blind experience
• 09:30 - The bold pod question that went viral: "What's wrong with you?"
• 14:20 - Most challenging parts of the Love is Blind experiment
• 19:45 - Why vulnerability is easier when you can't see someone
• 24:30 - Trusting your intuition vs. listening to family opinions
• 29:15 - Dave's dating patterns: superficial attraction & dating in reverse
• 34:45 - What being ready for love actually looks like now
• 39:30 - Final advice: Know yourself to date differently

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• What really happened behind the scenes in Season 8 Love is Blind AFTER the cameras stopped recording
• The dating backwards pattern that's keeping you single
• Vulnerability depth in dating
• Family opinions vs. trusting your own intuition in relationships
• What being truly ready for love actually looks like (vs. societal pressure)

"You can't really be yourself if you don't know who you are. You shouldn't date anyone with the intention of getting married or having a long-term future if you don't fully know yourself well enough." - David Bettenburg

CONNECT WITH DAVE:

David Bettenburg is a 33-year-old Minneapolis native who appeared on Love is Blind Season 8. Originally working in medical device sales (specifically aesthetic procedures), he now works as an Account Executive for legal solutions. Dave's journey on Love is Blind became controversial due to family interference and outside gossip affecting his relationship with Lauren O'Brien. Post-show, he's focused on self-reflection, therapy, and understanding his dating patterns to build healthier relationships.

David's Instagram: @davidbettenburg

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Ever wonder why you keep dating the same type of person? Brazilian brain health coach Fabiana breaks down the neuroscience behind dating patterns and reveals how your brain creates the relationship cycles you find yourself stuck in.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 3:18 - Meet Fabiana: From Ipanema Beach to brain coaching
• 8:45 - Your brain on patterns: The survival machine explained
• 15:20 - Breaking down the amygdala hijack in relationships
• 22:10 - The cortisol-disease connection you need to know
• 28:30 - Reframing protective thoughts (not negative ones)
• 35:45 - Why people behave badly (spoiler: they feel threatened)
• 42:00 - The stories we tell ourselves about dating
• 48:15 - Values alignment: The non-negotiable foundation
• 55:30 - Expectations vs. reality in relationships
• 62:45 - The 4-step communication framework for conflict

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• How your amygdala and hippocampus control your dating choices
• Why 80% of your thoughts are protective (not negative)
• The 4-question method to reframe toxic thought patterns
• How to break the cycle of choosing familiar but unhealthy partners
• Why authenticity is non-negotiable in lasting relationships
• Communication strategies that actually work (backed by brain science)

"There is no way you will find a partner who loves you if you're not being 100% your authentic self. Because they're going to fall for what you're showing, not for who you are. If you are acting to gain someone's love, you're not gaining their love—your character is gaining their love." - Fabiana

CONNECT WITH FABIANA

Brazilian-born brain health coach and viral Instagram creator (@fashionbyfabiana, 150K+ followers) who transforms women's relationship with aging and self-acceptance. Former corporate executive turned certified neuroscience coach, Fabiana combines 30 years of business experience with brain-based coaching to help women break limiting patterns and embrace authentic living. Her content on aging gracefully has reached over 20 million views, sparking global conversations about beauty standards and self-worth.

Fabiana's Instagram: @fashionbyfabiana

Brain Health Coaching Website

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

What happens when a man realizes he's the guy women don't want to date and completely transforms himself? In this raw conversation, dating and embodiment coach Tyler shares his journey from being disconnected and sabotaging intimacy to helping high-value women date differently.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Introduction: When men realize they're the problem
• 04:15 - Tyler's transformation story: From feminine to masculine energy
• 09:30 - Macro vs micro perspective in dating
• 14:20 - The three pillars: Mindset, energetics, strategy
• 19:45 - Common limiting beliefs that keep women stuck
• 26:15 - Masculine vs feminine energy: What it really means
• 32:40 - Strategic dating: Red flags and verification methods
• 38:20 - The ultimate relationship question: Would I want my child to be like them?
• 41:35 - Reflection on personal growth over 5 years
• 44:15 - Final advice: Changing thoughts, feelings, and actions

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• The macro vs micro approach to dating patterns
• How to date from a regulated nervous system
• The difference between masculine and feminine energy in dating
• Strategic tools for identifying red flags early
• Why "if it's meant to happen, it will" keeps you stuck
• The three pillars: mindset, energetics, and strategy

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Are you calling everything a red flag in dating? Dating coach and therapist Michelle O'Connell joins host Madden to decode the difference between red flags, yellow flags, and green flags in modern dating. Learn why your nervous system might confuse healthy partners for boring ones, how past trauma affects your ability to recognize good partners, and the subtle patterns that show up months into dating - not on date three. This episode reveals why we're quick to label behaviors as red flags when they might actually be signs of a healthy partner, plus actionable strategies for dating with curiosity instead of fear.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Introduction: The red flag epidemic in dating culture

• 03:15 - Meet Michelle O'Connell: From therapist to dating coach
• 08:42 - Defining red flags, yellow flags, and green flags
• 12:30 - Why we overuse the term "red flag" in dating
• 16:45 - How fear drives our flag labeling
• 21:20 - When green flags feel like red flags: The nervous system connection
• 28:15 - Red flags that don't show up until months later
• 35:40 - How long should you really give someone a chance?
• 38:25 - Avoiding projection from past dating experiences
• 42:10 - Final advice: Dating with curiosity over validation

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• What actually constitutes a red flag versus normal human behavior
• How our nervous system confuses calm and safety for boredom in dating
• Why people with trauma histories might push away healthy partners
• The sneaky patterns that don't show up until months 3-6 of dating
• How past experiences shape our ability to "read the room" accurately
• The difference between empowerment and being too rigid in dating standards
• Why taking things slow is crucial for spotting long-term compatibility
• How to avoid projecting past relationship wounds onto new partners
• When to give someone more time versus trusting your gut to walk away

"If you want a partner, you have to date. And when you date with a space and a mindset of curiosity and being open to all the different outcomes, you're going to have a better experience with dating. Don't date to validate your worth - date from curiosity." - Michelle

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Michelle O'Connell is a licensed mental health therapist and dating coach based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. With over a decade of experience in trauma therapy, Michelle launched her dating coaching practice "Unstuck by Michelle" four years ago. She supports clients in building confidence, creating authentic dating profiles, identifying healthier partners, and developing mindful, intentional approaches to dating. Michelle brings a unique trauma-informed perspective that's both grounded and refreshingly real to the dating world.

Michelle's Instagram: @unstuckbymichelle 

Michelle's Website

*NEW* Michelle's TikTok: @unstuckbymichelle

Michelle offers monthly dating support, beginning August 6, 2025. Please visit Michelle's website to find out more!

STAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Transform your dating life through the ancient art of Tantra. In this episode, sex and relationship therapist Julie shares how tantric principles can help you break toxic dating patterns and create deeper, more authentic connections.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 04:22 - Welcome & Julie's Introduction
• 07:34 - Julie's Unique Journey: From Yoga Pioneer to Sex Therapist
• 13:07 - Working with Gopher Football & The Marsh Wellness Center
• 16:52 - The Energy Healing School That Changed Everything
• 19:42 - What is Tantra Really? (It's Not What You Think)
• 23:07 - The Three Stages of Sexual Relationships
• 26:32 - Energy Field Exercises for Couples
• 30:52 - Push, Pull, Stop & Allow: Modulating Sexual Energy
• 33:37 - Solo Tantric Practices for Singles
• 37:02 - Creating Your Personal Tantric Mantra
• 39:42 - The Lens of Love Self-Practice
• 42:32 - Dating Tantrically: Holding the Paradox
• 49:37 - Modern Dating Trends & Screen Addiction
• 52:42 - Moving from Performance to Presence
• 56:32 - The Four-Dimensional Wheel: Body, Mind, Spirit, Emotion
• 59:52 - Why Ghosting is Energetic Violence
• 63:07 - Final Advice: Honesty & Holding Paradox

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• The true meaning of Tantra beyond sexual misconceptions
• How to practice energy awareness with potential partners
• Practical tantric exercises you can do solo or with a partner
• Why vulnerability is actually a superpower in dating
• The paradox of being open while staying unattached
• Solo tantric practices for single people
• How to move from performance to presence in intimacy

"Healthy intimate relationships are your birthright. When people get aligned in their sexuality, when their sexual life force energy is fully activated and connected to their hearts and spirits, they become the most thriving, unstoppable versions of themselves." - Julie

CONNECT WITH JULIE:

With over 30 years of experience in the healing arts, Julie Schmit began her journey as a yoga instructor and energy healer, helping to pioneer the yoga scene in the Twin Cities in the early 1990s. She is now a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and a certified couple’s therapist.

Julie specializes in helping individuals and couples strengthen relationships, heal from trauma, reclaim pleasure, and build confidence—so they can experience more joy, passion, and intimacy in their lives. She brings a grounded, trauma-informed approach to her work, integrating somatic practices, energy awareness, and a deep respect for sexual diversity and inclusivity.

At the heart of Julie’s philosophy is the belief that being truly seen, understood, and accepted is a powerful catalyst for healing. It’s her privilege to walk alongside her clients on their journey toward greater sexual fulfillment and relational aliveness.

JULIE'S WEBSITE

STAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

In this raw and intimate conversation, real couple Allison and Anthony share their 7-year journey from a casual Tinder meetup in a Costco parking lot to building a conscious, choice-based relationship. They open up about the difference between falling in love and choosing love daily, how they've navigated living in 5 different states together, and what it really takes to grow individually while building a partnership rooted in friendship and mutual respect.

This isn't your typical relationship advice episode - it's an honest look at what happens when two people commit to choosing each other over and over again, even when it's hard. From their unique approach to conflict resolution to their perspective on marriage and external pressures, Allison and Anthony offer practical wisdom for anyone ready to date differently.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Introduction & Their Tinder Love Story
• 08:15 - Six Months to Moving States Together
• 12:30 - Falling vs Choosing Love: The Real Difference
• 18:45 - Building Friendship as Your Foundation
• 24:20 - Growing Together Without Growing Apart
• 30:10 - How They Handle Conflict & Communication
• 35:40 - External Pressures: Marriage & Family Opinions
• 41:25 - One Piece of Advice to Date Differently

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• The difference between falling in love vs choosing to love every single day
• Building friendship as your relationship foundation (even while dating)
• How to fight constructively without damaging the relationship
• Setting non-negotiables vs being flexible in your standards
• Growing individually while growing together as a couple
• Why your relationship should be about giving, not getting
• How to handle external pressures about marriage and timelines

"A relationship is not a place where you go to get. It's a place that you go to give." - Anthony

CONNECT WITH ANTHONY AND ALLISON:

Allison and Anthony are a real couple who've been together for almost 7 years, having met when Allison was 18 and Anthony was 24. Through their journey across 5 different states, they've built a relationship foundation based on conscious choice, deep friendship, and mutual growth. Anthony brings insights from his Tony Robbins background and entrepreneurial mindset, while Allison shares her perspective on maintaining femininity and authenticity while building partnership.

Anthony's Instagram: @anthonyjrigsby

Allison's Instagram: @allisonrosee7

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Have you ever considered that dating could be a form of meditation? In this transformative episode, KC Baker (founder of WomanSpeak and creator of Velvet Flow) shares her groundbreaking approach to conscious dating that will change how you truly think about relationships.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - 02:30 - Introduction & Episode Setup
• 02:30 - 07:15 - Guest Introduction & Background
• 07:15 - 12:45 - KC's Dating Pattern Story
• 12:45 - 18:30 -Dating as Meditation Concept
• 18:30 - 23:00 - Practical Communication & Boundaries
• 23:00 - 28:15 - Vetting for Consciousness & Compatibility
• 28:15 - 34:45 -The Anxiety Breakthrough Moment
• 34:45 - 40:20 - Going Slow vs. Following Impulses
• 40:20 - 45:30 - Rebuilding Self-Trust After Heartbreak
• 45:30 - 50:41 -Three Tangible Self-Love Practices

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• Dating as meditation: A revolutionary approach to self-discovery through dating
• Breaking anxious attachment patterns and choosing peace over anxiety
• The art of dating multiple people mindfully and ethically
• How Qigong and feminine energy practices transform your dating life
• Practical tools for developing radical self-trust and boundaries

CONNECT WITH KC

KC Baker has been a pioneer for the last 16 years in bringing a feminine approach to public speaking & leadership training with her unique embodiment and nervous system rewiring practices. Her company WomanSpeak has speaking circles around the world and teaches women how to cultivate the internal safety and freedom to speak up authentically in their personal & professional lives.

Several years ago while running her company and raising her child, and after experiencing betrayal and loss of a significant romantic relationship, she experienced deep fatigue, stress, and health & hormone issues. She discovered Feminine Qi Gong practices and they completely transformed her energy, vitality & stress levels and healed her heart and womb.

She has now started Velvet Flow, a practice incorporating sensual movement & Feminine Qi Gong to help women learn to use their sexual energy for creating greater health, deeper serenity & abiding happiness.

She has spoken and taught at the United Nations in Switzerland, was an advisor on Authentic Communication for Senator Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign, and had supported women in speaking on stages like TED, Bioneers, the American Heart Association, Wisdom 2.0, & Emerging Women. She is a mama, a Certified Tantra & Taoist Teacher, a stewardess of sacred land in Sedona Arizona, and a deep lover of nature.

Woman Speak

Velvet Flow

Instagram: @kc.baker

Facebook: KC Baker

STAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Dating coach Joe Stroud pulls back the curtain on the male experience in modern dating. From why men seem emotionally checked out to the real dynamics shaping attraction, this conversation explores what happens when both men and women drop the performance and connect from truth. If you've ever wondered why dating feels so disconnected, this episode reveals the patterns keeping us all stuck.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00-05:00 - Introduction: Why This Episode Might Ruffle Feathers
• 05:00-12:00 - Meet Joe Stroud: From Dating Apps to Real-Life Connection
• 12:00-18:00 - The #1 Pattern: Why Men Are Terrified of Approaching Women
• 18:00-25:00 - Living at Your Edge: Why Most Men Aren't Interesting
• 25:00-32:00 - The Flirting Formula: Masculine Energy Meets Playful Connection
• 32:00-38:00 - Dating Without Masks: The Power of Authentic Self-Expression
• 38:00-45:00 - Chasing vs. Pursuing: Reading the Signs and Body Language
• 45:00-52:00 - The Dating Marketplace: Timelines, Standards, and Reality Checks
• 52:00-58:00 - Adventure More: Joe's Final Advice for Dating Differently

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• Why technology and biology make men terrified to approach women in real life
• The difference between chasing (needy) and pursuing (grounded) in dating
• How living at your edge creates the stories and confidence that attract connection
• The body language signals that say "approach me" without saying a word
• Why the dating marketplace rewards different qualities at different life stages
• The controversial truth about timelines, standards, and the 80-20 principle in dating
• How to build community and create warm connections beyond apps and bars

"All we want is to maintain our peace, some level of peace, and to be respected. That's it. That's the whole list. That's the entire list right there." - Joe Stroud

CONNECT WITH JOE:

Joe Stroud is a dating coach who helps men develop grounded masculine presence and connect authentically with women. He specializes in getting guys off dating apps and back into real-life social connection.

Joe's Instagram: @_thejoeshow_

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Divorce is the second most painful life experience after losing a loved one - yet men's emotional journey through this grief is rarely discussed. In this raw, honest conversation, divorce coach Addison breaks down the silent struggle that men face after relationship loss and why traditional masculinity makes healing so much harder.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 Intro: Why everyone needs to hear this
• 02:30 Meet Addison & his divorce story
• 08:15 The patterns: grief, anger, shame
• 15:20 Why men don't ask for help
• 22:10 Creating space for male vulnerability
• 30:45 The shame spiral that destroys relationships
• 38:20 Little boy energy vs. emotional maturity
• 43:50 Dating differently through clarity & vulnerability

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• The unique grief process men experience during divorce and breakups
• Why shame and self-loathing consume so much emotional space after relationship loss
• The difference between taking responsibility vs. drowning in blame
• How emotional immaturity shows up as "little boy energy" in relationships
• Why vulnerability is actually the strongest form of masculinity
• The ripple effect of men's healing on families and communities
• Practical ways to create emotional safety for the men in your life

CONNECT WITH ADDISON:

Addison Shock is a former Couples & Individuals Counselor turned Divorce Coach for Men with more than 15 years of experience in human development. Based in Costa Rica and Birmingham, AL, he specializes in helping men navigate divorce-related challenges, including anger, anxiety, shame, relationships, and lack of direction. His goal is to empower clients to develop emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and achieve a grounded, stable life. In his spare time, Addison enjoys surfing, basketball, and fly fishing.

Addison's Website: addisonshockcoaching.com

Addison's Instagram: @addisonshockcoaching

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa