Have you ever considered that dating could be a form of meditation? In this transformative episode, KC Baker (founder of WomanSpeak and creator of Velvet Flow) shares her groundbreaking approach to conscious dating that will change how you truly think about relationships.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - 02:30 - Introduction & Episode Setup
• 02:30 - 07:15 - Guest Introduction & Background
• 07:15 - 12:45 - KC's Dating Pattern Story
• 12:45 - 18:30 -Dating as Meditation Concept
• 18:30 - 23:00 - Practical Communication & Boundaries
• 23:00 - 28:15 - Vetting for Consciousness & Compatibility
• 28:15 - 34:45 -The Anxiety Breakthrough Moment
• 34:45 - 40:20 - Going Slow vs. Following Impulses
• 40:20 - 45:30 - Rebuilding Self-Trust After Heartbreak
• 45:30 - 50:41 -Three Tangible Self-Love Practices

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• Dating as meditation: A revolutionary approach to self-discovery through dating
• Breaking anxious attachment patterns and choosing peace over anxiety
• The art of dating multiple people mindfully and ethically
• How Qigong and feminine energy practices transform your dating life
• Practical tools for developing radical self-trust and boundaries

CONNECT WITH KC

KC Baker has been a pioneer for the last 16 years in bringing a feminine approach to public speaking & leadership training with her unique embodiment and nervous system rewiring practices. Her company WomanSpeak has speaking circles around the world and teaches women how to cultivate the internal safety and freedom to speak up authentically in their personal & professional lives.

Several years ago while running her company and raising her child, and after experiencing betrayal and loss of a significant romantic relationship, she experienced deep fatigue, stress, and health & hormone issues. She discovered Feminine Qi Gong practices and they completely transformed her energy, vitality & stress levels and healed her heart and womb.

She has now started Velvet Flow, a practice incorporating sensual movement & Feminine Qi Gong to help women learn to use their sexual energy for creating greater health, deeper serenity & abiding happiness.

She has spoken and taught at the United Nations in Switzerland, was an advisor on Authentic Communication for Senator Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign, and had supported women in speaking on stages like TED, Bioneers, the American Heart Association, Wisdom 2.0, & Emerging Women. She is a mama, a Certified Tantra & Taoist Teacher, a stewardess of sacred land in Sedona Arizona, and a deep lover of nature.

Woman Speak

Velvet Flow

Instagram: @kc.baker

Facebook: KC Baker

STAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Dating coach Joe Stroud pulls back the curtain on the male experience in modern dating. From why men seem emotionally checked out to the real dynamics shaping attraction, this conversation explores what happens when both men and women drop the performance and connect from truth. If you've ever wondered why dating feels so disconnected, this episode reveals the patterns keeping us all stuck.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00-05:00 - Introduction: Why This Episode Might Ruffle Feathers
• 05:00-12:00 - Meet Joe Stroud: From Dating Apps to Real-Life Connection
• 12:00-18:00 - The #1 Pattern: Why Men Are Terrified of Approaching Women
• 18:00-25:00 - Living at Your Edge: Why Most Men Aren't Interesting
• 25:00-32:00 - The Flirting Formula: Masculine Energy Meets Playful Connection
• 32:00-38:00 - Dating Without Masks: The Power of Authentic Self-Expression
• 38:00-45:00 - Chasing vs. Pursuing: Reading the Signs and Body Language
• 45:00-52:00 - The Dating Marketplace: Timelines, Standards, and Reality Checks
• 52:00-58:00 - Adventure More: Joe's Final Advice for Dating Differently

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• Why technology and biology make men terrified to approach women in real life
• The difference between chasing (needy) and pursuing (grounded) in dating
• How living at your edge creates the stories and confidence that attract connection
• The body language signals that say "approach me" without saying a word
• Why the dating marketplace rewards different qualities at different life stages
• The controversial truth about timelines, standards, and the 80-20 principle in dating
• How to build community and create warm connections beyond apps and bars

"All we want is to maintain our peace, some level of peace, and to be respected. That's it. That's the whole list. That's the entire list right there." - Joe Stroud

CONNECT WITH JOE:

Joe Stroud is a dating coach who helps men develop grounded masculine presence and connect authentically with women. He specializes in getting guys off dating apps and back into real-life social connection.

Joe's Instagram: @_thejoeshow_

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Divorce is the second most painful life experience after losing a loved one - yet men's emotional journey through this grief is rarely discussed. In this raw, honest conversation, divorce coach Addison breaks down the silent struggle that men face after relationship loss and why traditional masculinity makes healing so much harder.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 Intro: Why everyone needs to hear this
• 02:30 Meet Addison & his divorce story
• 08:15 The patterns: grief, anger, shame
• 15:20 Why men don't ask for help
• 22:10 Creating space for male vulnerability
• 30:45 The shame spiral that destroys relationships
• 38:20 Little boy energy vs. emotional maturity
• 43:50 Dating differently through clarity & vulnerability

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• The unique grief process men experience during divorce and breakups
• Why shame and self-loathing consume so much emotional space after relationship loss
• The difference between taking responsibility vs. drowning in blame
• How emotional immaturity shows up as "little boy energy" in relationships
• Why vulnerability is actually the strongest form of masculinity
• The ripple effect of men's healing on families and communities
• Practical ways to create emotional safety for the men in your life

CONNECT WITH ADDISON:

Addison Shock is a former Couples & Individuals Counselor turned Divorce Coach for Men with more than 15 years of experience in human development. Based in Costa Rica and Birmingham, AL, he specializes in helping men navigate divorce-related challenges, including anger, anxiety, shame, relationships, and lack of direction. His goal is to empower clients to develop emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and achieve a grounded, stable life. In his spare time, Addison enjoys surfing, basketball, and fly fishing.

Addison's Website: addisonshockcoaching.com

Addison's Instagram: @addisonshockcoaching

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Tired of dating the same type of guys over and over? Your mindset might be the problem. In this episode, we dive deep into how the law of attraction shapes your dating life and explore the 4 toxic beliefs that keep you stuck in negative dating patterns.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Intro: Why We Keep Dating the Same Guy
• 01:45 - The Law of Attraction SparkNotes: Like Attracts Like
• 03:30 - The Infinity Loop: How to Manifest Without Obsessing
• 06:00 - The Helicopter Parent Analogy: Why Control Kills Manifestation
• 08:15 - The 99% vs 1% Rule: What You Actually Control in Dating
• 10:30 - Belief #1: "There Are No Good Men Left"
• 12:45 - Belief #2: Love Must Happen on a Certain Timeline
• 15:00 - Belief #3: "I'm Better Off Single Than Getting Hurt"
• 17:30 - Belief #4: "If I Take a Break, I'll Miss My Chance"
• 20:00 - Your Energy is Everything: Dating from Excitement vs Frustration
• 22:30 - Challenge: Rewriting Your Limiting Beliefs

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• How your energy directly attracts (or repels) your ideal partner
• The infinity loop technique for manifesting love without desperation
• 4 subconscious beliefs that sabotage your dating success
• Why surrendering control actually makes you more magnetic
• How to shift from dating with fear to dating with excitement

"We spent so much of our time trying to control things that are truly out of our hands: the timeline, the who, the how. When really our only job is to be in alignment and embody the best version of ourselves. 99% of our lives are really up to God, universe, source, whatever it is you believe in. We are only in charge of 1%."

- Madden

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

Why do you keep attracting the same type of partner? Why do you get triggered by things that shouldn't logically bother you? Why can you understand your patterns cognitively but still repeat them?

In this deeply transformative conversation, trauma-informed coach Jakob reveals why your body holds the answers that your mind can't access. This isn't just another therapy approach - it's a complete paradigm shift in how we heal relationship patterns.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Why we repeat the same relationship patterns
• 12:20 - What somatic healing actually is (and why it works faster than therapy)
• 22:15 - The difference between earning love vs. receiving love
• 31:45 - How to take responsibility without playing victim
• 39:30 - 3 ways to start somatic healing at home
• 46:20 - What's possible when you heal your nervous system

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• Your body holds trauma that talk therapy can't reach
• Taking responsibility = freedom (not blame)
• Love addiction keeps you dating the same patterns
• Somatic healing helps you respond vs. react in relationships

"Most of us weren't loved for being - we were loved for doing, for performing, for pleasing. So in our nervous system, it gets ingrained that if I'm a good boy, if I'm a good girl, then I get love. Then we pick partners that trigger that same performative dance."

- Jakob Gricar

CONNECT WITH JAKOB:

Jakob Gricar is a trauma-informed transformational coach who blends more than a decade of mastery in somatic work, internal family systems, ontological coaching, NLP, CBT, breathwork, polyvagal theory, and indigenous ceremony to catalyze profound inner change. From high-impact entrepreneurs navigating million-dollar decisions to purpose-driven creatives taking their very first steps in business, he guides clients to  create a capacity in their nervous systems to handle all of life, dismantle limiting identities, and remember the unshakable truth beneath the noise. Jakob’s sessions are an alchemy of precise nervous-system science as taught to him directly by pioneers in somatics, mix of modalities from CBT, IFS, NLP and more to fierce ontological accountability.

His own journey began at 13, when healing a chronic illness through relentless spiritual disciplines proved that the body can be a doorway to the miraculous. That spark ignited years of radical exploration: seasons of homelessness that forged unfiltered humility; near-death initiations that clarified what truly matters; yogic study in India’s ashrams; and deep plant-medicine studies with Shipibo, Mestizo, Yawanawa and Huni Kuin medicine keepers in the Amazon rainforest. Along the way, he built a retreat center in Guatemala and co-created a conscious community and event space in Mexico, while learning from Judith Johnso, a 83 year old pioneer in somatic work. 

Today Jakob collaborates with world-renowned coaches, and facilitates in their online and in person containers, mentors other business leaders, and guides deep in-person experiences through Vortex Retreats and co-runs a high-touch online coaching program for women. 

https://jakobgricar.com/ 

This powerful episode with Dr. Linnea Swanson, MFT and brain spotting trainer, explores how trauma becomes encoded in our nervous system and unconsciously guides our relationship choices. Learn why that "spark" might actually be a warning sign, how generational trauma impacts dating patterns, and practical strategies to rewire your brain for healthier relationships. Essential listening for anyone wondering why they keep attracting the same type of partner despite wanting something different.

EPISODE TIMELINE

• 00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Linnea and her work
• 04:36 - Understanding trauma and its impact on relationships
• 09:12 - How the limbic system affects dating choices
• 14:47 - The unconscious pull toward familiar relationship dynamics
• 19:42 - Generational trauma and its hidden influence
• 24:30 - Why the "spark" might signal danger, not compatibility
• 28:15 - Breaking trauma patterns and dating differently
• 32:08 - Final advice for healthier relationship choices

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE

• How trauma gets encoded in your brain and body, creating unconscious relationship patterns
• Why perpetrators and victims continue to find each other, even in a room of 100 people
• The truth about "chemistry" and why that initial spark might be your trauma recognizing something familiar
• Practical strategies to slow down, balance emotions with logic, and build relationships that grow rather than ignite

"Trauma, essentially, the core of it is that it's an experience that a person has that completely overwhelms their system. And our brain's number one job is to keep us alive. So what happens during a traumatic experience is that there's some threat to the person. Maybe it's not actually to their life, but maybe it's some deep emotional threat, some deep psychological threat, right? And so the brain has to mobilize and go into what I think a lot of people are often familiar with, either fleeing the situation, fighting, or freezing"

- Dr. Linnea Swanson

CONNECT WITH DR. LINNEA SWANSON

Linnea Swanson, Psy.D., M.A., LMFT (she/her/hers) is a Brainspotting Trainer and owner of Twinflower Psychological Services, LLC, located on the ancestral land of the Dakhóta people, now known as Minneapolis, MN. Dr. Swanson has been a therapist for over 20 years having worked in school, county, and private practice settings. She recently ended her 17 year teaching career as a professor in several different MFT graduate programs. She is currently in private practice and leads Brainspotting trainings in the U.S. and South Korea. Dr. Swanson’s clinical practice is focused on working with individuals, couples and families. Dr. Swanson has a particular interest in working with adult transracial, transnational adoptees, interracial couples and couples in CNM relationships.

More about Dr. Linnea Swanson and her private practice website: Twinflowerpsych.com

STAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

Madden is joined by Kelly Chase who was on Season 1 of Love Is Blind. While her dating life played out in front of the world, what most people don’t realize is the massive transformation and evolution Kelly has gone through since the show aired.

She’s built her own brand as a business and mindset coach, podcast host, and influencer— helping people find love, success, and money in a whole new way.

In this conversation, Kelly gets real honest about her journey — from dating on reality TV to dealing with “silly boys” and figuring out what it actually looks like to choose differently. Kelly shares how Love Is Blind brought a whole new awareness to her dating patterns — and how that turned into massive shifts in how she shows up now.

We also get into the sneaky patterns so many women repeat without even realizing it, and Kelly calls out some real truths about the lies we’ve been fed about love. There’s spice, there’s honesty, and there are definitely some truth bombs dropped along the way.

TIMELINE

• 00:00 : Introduction to Kelly Chase from Love is Blind Season 1

• 03:10 : Kelly shares her experience dating in the unique Love is Blind environment
• 08:45 : Discussion on vulnerability in dating and asking important questions early
• 13:20 : Lessons learned from having a public love life on reality TV
• 17:30 : Kelly's recurring dating patterns: people-pleasing and self-abandonment
• 21:15 : Taking responsibility and breaking unhealthy relationship cycles
• 24:30 : Can men and women be platonic friends? Kelly's perspective
• 28:45 : Kelly's journey into coaching and empowerment work
• 37:10 : The sneakiest pattern women get stuck in: falling for potential, not reality
• 42:30 : The biggest lies women believe about dating
• 47:50 : Finding fulfillment and breaking free from timelines
• 51:15 : What Kelly would tell her younger self
• 52:20 : Final advice on how to date differently

CONNECT WITH KELLY:

Kelly Chase is a business and mindset coach, podcast host, and influencer known for her appearance on Season 1 of Netflix's "Love is Blind." After the show, she underwent significant personal transformation, shifting from health coaching to business coaching. Kelly has built her brand helping people find love, success, and financial abundance while working through her own dating patterns and limiting beliefs.

Kelly's Instagram: @chaselifewithkelly

Chase Life with Kelly Podcast: @chaselifewithkellypodcast

Kelly's Website: https://www.chaselifewithkelly.com/

CONNECT WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

In this powerful solo episode, host Madden Zappa explores the complex emotions of being single, particularly in the aftermath of a breakup. She shares her personal journey of loving solitude while simultaneously experiencing post-breakup loneliness, highlighting the sometimes contradictory nature of singlehood.

Madden challenges society's view that singlehood is merely a waiting period or a problem to be solved, especially as we age. Instead, she reframes it as a purposeful opportunity to create an aligned and fulfilling life. The episode provides three actionable mindset shifts: identifying the true root of loneliness, reframing being alone as an opportunity, and creating an exciting life without waiting for a partner.

The core message emphasizes that when you build a life you're obsessed with while single, it transforms your approach to dating - you stop looking for someone to complete you and start choosing partners who enhance your already amazing life.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Introduction: The two sides of dating - relationship vs. singlehood
• 02:30 - The complexity of being single: empowerment vs. loneliness
• 04:15 - Madden's personal experience with loving singlehood
• 06:50 - Navigating post-breakup loneliness
• 09:30 - Misconceptions about being single as we age
• 11:45 - Differentiating between being lonely and being uncomfortable alone
• 13:20 - Shift #1: Identifying the root of your loneliness
• 15:10 - Shift #2: Reframing being alone as an opportunity
• 16:35 - Shift #3: Creating a life that excites you right now
• 18:40 - Final thoughts on empowered singlehood

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• Framework for three mindset shifts to transform loneliness into empowerment
• Perspective on society's misconceptions about singlehood
• Guidance on creating a fulfilling life while single

"Being single is not a waiting period. It is not something that needs to be fixed. It's honestly a season of life that I think a lot more of us need to embrace. It's actually a beautiful opportunity to build a life that is so full and so rich and so deeply aligned with you that when the right person eventually comes along, they're simply adding to an already incredibly present life."

- Madden Zappa

MORE ABOUT YOUR HOST:

Madden Zappa is the authentic and insightful host of "We're Dating the Same Guy" podcast, which uncovers repetitive dating patterns and provides actionable guidance on breaking them. With knowledge in attachment styles, feminine/masculine energy dynamics, and relationship psychology, Madden combines personal vulnerability with strategic wisdom. Her conversational, warm approach creates an intimate listening experience as she shares her own dating experiences alongside expert advice. Madden's mission centers on empowering listeners to "Date Differently" - moving beyond autopilot behaviors to create intentional, fulfilling relationships that start with a strong connection to self. Through each episode, she equips her audience with the tools and mindset shifts needed to break cycles and transform their approach to love.

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

✨ If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

This episode explores the powerful and often misunderstood art of receiving. Receiving isn't passive but an active, intentional energy that can transform not just your dating life but every area of your existence.

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• 00:00 - Introduction and welcome

• 01:23 - Introducing Erin Nicole Porter and her expertise
• 03:48 - Defining the concept of receiving and self-abandonment
• 08:33 - How to start receiving from yourself
• 11:15 - Continuing self-to-self receiving even in relationships
• 12:05 - How we unintentionally block ourselves from receiving
• 16:00 - Receiving without feeling the need to reciprocate
• 18:45 - Expanding your capacity to receive over time
• 20:25 - Allowing good things to come to us
• 22:15 - Differentiating between breadcrumbs and healthy pacing
• 26:05 - Somatic practices to connect with your body
• 28:52 - Distinguishing between mind anxiety and body intuition

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:

• The four levels of receiving: self to self, self to other, self to group, and self to source
• How self-abandonment and control patterns block our ability to receive love
• Why meeting your own needs first creates the foundation for receiving from others

• How to expand your capacity to hold more goodness in your life

• Somatic practices to help you tune into your body's wisdom

"Receiving isn't passive. It's a powerful, intentional, active energy. It's about opening, softening, and trusting. And it's one of the biggest shifts you can make if you want to experience deeper connection, intimacy, and self-worth."

- Erin Nicole Porter

CONNECT WITH ERIN:

Erin Nicole Porter is a business coach, somatic guide, subconscious reprogramming expert, and the founder of the Quantum Ripple Effect. Her work focuses on helping women expand their capacity to hold more love and abundance without burnout, forcing, or overgiving. Erin specializes in somatic-based coaching, understanding energy, trauma, and what's stored in the body. Through her own journey of healing from burnout, adrenal fatigue, and repetitive relationship patterns, she discovered how receiving plays a crucial role in what we attract in business, relationships, and life.

Erin's Instagram: @erinnicolecoaching

Erin's Website: www.erinnicolecoaching.com

Learn more about the Quantum Ripple Effect

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

This episode is an invitation to think outside of normative relationships and even potentially lead you to question what we've been taught about love, commitment, connection, and relationships

Polyamory and kink are often misunderstood or even stigmatized, but here’s the truth: the more we understand the spectrum of human desire, the more permission we give ourselves to date — and love — more authentically.

EPISODE TIMELINE

• 00:45 - Intro & expanding relationship perspectives
• 03:30 - Eric's background as a relationship therapist
• 05:20 - Demystifying kink and non-monogamy
• 08:45 - Defining consensual non-monogamy
• 11:30 - Understanding kink beyond stigma
• 14:15 - Developing self-agency in relationships
• 18:40 - Primary vs reactive emotions
• 24:30 - Communication pitfalls and solutions
• 29:15 - Navigating jealousy and insecurity
• 36:20 - Steps for exploring non-monogamy
• 42:00 - When partners disagree about non-monogamy
• 47:30 - Exploring kink safely
• 54:00 - Final advice: Interrogate your desires

IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE

• How to develop self-agency in relationships - the key to all relationship success
• The crucial difference between primary and reactive emotions that transforms communication
• Why "interrogating yourself" is essential before exploring non-monogamy or kink
• How jealousy can become a pathway to growth rather than relationship destruction
• Essential resources for safe exploration of alternative relationship dynamics

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
• Polysecure by Jessica Fern

• The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy
• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
• Bad Sex by Nona Willis Aronowitz

"It's through this self-interrogation that we learn about ourselves and then we can communicate that to others and then we suddenly are living a more satisfying life. I love this topic, again, not because I feel like the way of the future is kink or the way of the future is non-monogamy or polyamory, but because it is crucial in all of our lives, I believe, that we look into things that society might have said, no, don't look in this box or don't look in this box."

- Eric Fawcett

CONNECT WITH ERIC

Eric Fawcett is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in helping intimate partnerships effectively navigate concerns ranging from communication, to sexuality, to trust ruptures, and beyond. Before pursuing his MFT degree, Fawcett spent three decades as a recording artist, as a creative entrepreneur, and as a published writer and speaker addressing the relational joys and challenges of the collaborative process.

Fawcett has long believed that the training that relational therapists receive prepares them to work with people-systems far beyond couples and families. In his private practice — Attune Relational Wellness — Eric also works with organizations seeking to increase trust and cohesion among its members. Eric is an enthusiastically affirmative LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC ally and advocate, and welcomes clients regardless of faith tradition or socio-political viewpoint.

More about Eric at his private practice website: www.attunerelational.com

STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:

Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠

✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!