We're In a Basement

Remember when you were in school and you learned about the Pythagorean theorem and realized it's stupid and useless and there's absolutely no point? Well. . . now there is. Kinda.

This week, Colin tells a tale of cannibalism and Greek gods, while Sierra speculates what kind of dinosaur Jesus rode. Join us as we discuss smart dads, music theory IV, and an entire religion based on a geometric shape. It's strict, it's complex, and it's mindless. It's math!

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She sees you when you're baking. She knows when you're awake. She knows if you bake bad or good, so don't mess up your birthday cake. It's Betty Crocker.

In this episode, Sierra tells Colin how award winning (and explosive) flour plotted its way into every American's pantry. You'll hear about Guy Fieri's newest television series, disastrous Kmart chronicles, and what the heck neon actually is.

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Merry Christmas from the Basement!  

In this short bonus episode, Sierra and Colin trade Christmas party tales. You'll hear about awkward family gatherings, our favorite ugly sweaters, and quirky people we both know.

Picture this: you go to a party in some fancy New York City high-rise. They bring in a cake. A girl jumps out of it. Everyone loves it. And you only have one question: why'd you ruin the cake!?

This week, Colin tells us the history of girls jumping out of cake while Sierra describes some of the worst (best?) Christmas movies she’s watched this week. Join us as we discuss how to tame a bird, Sierra's childhood dog, and how to make peppermint bark.

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Every great adventurer has 3 things: a mission, the grit to get it done, and a rivalry with someone who likes blowing up bridges.

In Episode 72, Sierra tells the tale of an adventurer, his arch nemesis, and a plot to bring them together to solve a meat scandal. Join us as we calculate the speed of carnival rides, chat about Colin's targeted ads, and discuss how to ship a hippopotamus.

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You know what makes everything better? Dogs. Have a bad day? DOG. Scrape your knee? DOG. Still single even though your relatives keep BEGGING you to find a partner? . . . DOG!!!

In this episode, Colin tells (yet another) story about trains while Sierra gushes over a dog named Owney. Join us as we discuss snail mail propaganda, post office fever dreams, and the canine version of OnlyFans.

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Abraham Lincoln, giant phallic statues, and Frozen Dead Guys. What do they all have in common? Big groups of people REALLY like them. And this is episode is about those groups of people.

This week, Colin and Sierra take turns clicking the seatbelt and telling the stories of some of the most interesting global gatherings. Join us as we discuss the real identity of a Secret Santa, Green Day’s newest single, and how to properly store your late grandfather's body.

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Sierra and Colin watched a really bad movie based on a book written by a scummy crummy transphobe. In this bonus episode, they summarize the film's plot as a selfless act of community service. (They watched it so you don't have to!) 

Tune in for maraschino cherries in places they shouldn't be, unrealistic sports, and guest appearances by Conan O'Brien and Colin's middle school mascot!

We’ve all done it. Giggled under your breath at the mention of 69. Chuckled at someone alluding to the act of 69-ing. But WHO actually enjoys this heinous deed? (Spoiler: it's not us)

This week, Colin tells us about French revolutionary Anne-Josèphe Terwagne while Sierra explains where donut holes come from. Join us as we discover the molecular structure of carbs, the year 1969, and Wikipedia's sexual liberation.

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The bookends of a great campfire treat or a wonderful after-school snack; the trusty graham cracker. Did you ever wonder how it came into existence? Well, we can tell you now, it’s not what you’d expect.

This week, Sierra tells the tale of the goddamn cracker that invented the graham cracker, while Colin reminds us that masturbation and food are not related. Join us as we discuss the importance of modern social etiquette, a drag queen named Cholera, and why we should all consume more s’mores.

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