What Is Humans?

So often in life we can feel trapped in the mundane tasks of life. As life moves fast it may seem extremely difficult to find meaning in it. This week we seek to find answers of where in life we are affected by this dilemma and how would be best to create that meaning in where it may be lacking. 

As you listen to this try to take some time out of your day in the morning and evening to ask yourself why. Why is this important? Why do I care? Ect. As we often speak about in the podcast is the importance of asking why in reference to Simon Sinek’s, organizational psychologist, book ‘Start with Why’. 

By doing this practice of asking macro ‘Why’ questions we then are able to create meaning in the micro trivial tasks of our lives. This will provide you with a clear vision and remind you of the importance in the little things of life.

Pain, Uncertainty and Constant Work, are the three things that Dr. Phillip Stutz claims are the only things we can count on in this life. As this podcast has now been out for almost two years, we both realized we’ve never really talked about the saying “experts in almost nothing”. As podcast fanatics who care about personal growth on all levels we avidly listen to other podcasts and read books that speak on the same topics we talk about ourselves, but there’s one difference we like to really hit home. We don’t have any clue what the right answers are. Every podcast we listen to brings on an expert or an amazing individual to tell their unique story and the things that we as other human beings can take away from it, but they are just that also human beings. 

If uncertainty is guaranteed in life then that means, your parents, teachers, coaches, and yes even the smartest guest on a podcast you listened to one time don’t know for sure what’s going to happen. We pride ourselves on admitting openly and earnestly that we are also seeking answers in this journey, but we remind ourselves daily that even with the infinite knowledge in the world there are things we don’t know and surely can’t prepare for. 

Uncertainty is scary no doubt, something that all of us avoid and even snarl at in anger if someone has a different experience than our own. The difference, however, is that if we knew everything there would be absolutely no progress. No new diseases to cure, no new species to uncover, and no new records to break. Uncertainty means opportunity. The chance to learn something new everyday, have new and exciting adventures. Being uncertain and not knowing is quite the opposite of scary and shameful, rather it is an expression of joy the same way a child might marvel at new facts they have never heard. Stare uncertainty in the face this week and be vulnerable, offer yourself to it and say I am here to learn from you.

There are certain standards in life that we set for ourselves. They live in all different worlds that we belong to; relationships, career, and the list goes on and on. When we begin to let these standards slip it can take a toll on what we not only allow and expect of ourselves, but also of what we think we deserve. The inability to live up to the standards we set for ourselves can leave us feeling frustrated and bitter. In response to this, it is always important to practice grace, but recognize that we must be honest with ourselves and demand more when the opportunity presents itself. 

Once we recognize what the things are that we hold dear, we can begin to put in place boundaries and standards to produce the type of quality that we know we are capable of. Once we set standards in place it is important to be vulnerable and willing to accept the honesty that those standards will ask of us. It can be challenging at first to put ourselves out there, and demand more, but what waits on the other side of the challenge is the opportunity to attract others around us. 

Once we have established the quality that we want for ourselves, that is when we are able to attract the relationships around us that can make us even better than what we are currently at. It starts internally as opposed to looking to others, because there is only so much others can hold us to when we won’t hold ourselves to the same qualities when we are alone. Think about the standards you want to hold for yourself, and some of the ways you can be more honest this week.

Today we discuss a topic that is intimidating to most, but has the power to unlock your greatest potential for fulfillment. Expressing ourselves can be hard in everyday life, because we often have very few outlets, but it can be even harder when we are worrying about outside audiences as opposed to what we think as individuals. Rick Rubin, a famous Music Producer who has worked with the likes of Jay-Z, Adele and Ed Sheeran to name a few, spoke exclusively on this idea. Rubin talked about his process and how every time he enters a session he is much more focused on telling the story of where he is at that moment as opposed to what the audience might want or deems as successful. 

“The audience comes last,” says Rubin in recent interviews. This idea can be complex and feel like it is very counterintuitive for a hit producing creative, but in reality it comes as a slight relief. Rather than going into work or relationships with the goal of recreating past success day in and day out, it becomes much more important to express ourselves exactly where we are whether that is in your career, relationships or passions. In this way we worry less about what other people might want, and more about just telling the stories we want to day in and day out. 

This fear of what other people want from us is normally what stops us from expressing ourselves freely. Rather than being honest about serving ourselves first so we can be the best we can be for others, we succumb to pressures from outside audiences. This can be challenging and counterintuitive, especially when we think about ourselves as selfless and willing to help. Try and think about when you are at your best this week, and if at that moment you have met your own unique needs before attempting to help others first. 

According to Seth Godin, there are two stories in our lives, the one we want the world to tell about us and the one we tell ourselves. The first is an autobiography, one that WE write ourselves with highlights for the world to see long once we are gone. The second is our inner self talk, the dialogue that plays in our head everyday along the way. The latter can be a catalyst for the first if we use it correctly, because in the autobiography nobody is going to see half the work that went into writing that story. Our self talk contains dreams, fears and everything in between, but when used correctly can be an incredibly powerful tool in achieving what we set out to. 

Our autobiography is outward facing, it is what we want the world to see. Accomplishments of all kinds live here. In order for those dreams to come true you have to write them down now, think about what that book looks like and what you’ve written for yourself. These giant hopes and dreams have to start somewhere and oftentimes they begin with the end in mind as opposed to the start. 

The story we tell ourselves can be make or break. This narrative plays over and over in our minds daily, constantly writing and rewriting itself. This self talk can be filled with excuses and fear of what could go wrong or the reasons that you didn’t start, or it can be filled with dreams of shining a bright light on the world. The only thing that matters in pursuit of writing this story is that it be honest. The minute that we can accept what we are truly feeling and feeding ourselves, then we can truly begin to write that story ourselves instead of the other way around. Become the author of your own self-talk this week, and think about how that could affect the story you are writing about yourself years down the road.

 The world is full of uncertainty. Uncertainty in our days, weeks and months, our careers, passions and relationships and a whole lot of other aspects of life. It can be daunting to try and remain hopeful with all of that uncertainty around. What lies around the corner can cause fear, anxiety or depression. As humans we hate not knowing what is going to happen or how it is going to happen. How do we begin to find hope in these trying times as opposed to the latter. 

Our first instinct may be to plan everything out, minute by minute or day by day, but that becomes nearly impossible. Even the best laid plans are subject to change and adaptation. When futures are uncertain it helps to visualize in our own lives what are the things we most want to change, and how we see the future unfolding. This tool of visualizing in detail allows us as individuals to create elaborate correlations in our brain over time and allows us to more accurately attack the plans that are needed to make the changes we wish to see. 

Begin to plan out some of those changes gradually, think about what might be necessary to achieve the things that will bring you fulfillment even in an uncertain world. This small bit of visualization and planning combined with hard work will be key to making a life of uncertainty a little bit more hopeful.

Today in the final episode of What is Humans? In the year 2022 we look back at the biggest lessons and takeaways from the year. A journey of personal and professional experiences that have lead to an outrageous amount of growth and self discovery and many times rediscovery. 

Things like taking risks, building a community, and efficiency are all a part of this conversation, but those lessons could look completely different for your 2022. It can be easy to look at the wins and losses of 2022, but what’s more important is to understand why you felt they were wins or losses this year. 

Take a minute to sit with yourself and reflect on your 2022. It will be uncomfortable at points and some points joyous to recognize everything the year has had to offer ourselves. Look at 2023 with a fresh mindset and with new experiences gained and think about how your newfound lessons can help make 2023 even better! Happy New Years! 

Shane and Dennis 

As the new year approaches and we look back and reflect on the past year, it can be easy to make a lot of assumptions and affirmations about the changes you want to see in the future. We often tell ourselves we want to be fitter, read more, or have better relationships with the ones we care about most. While these are all noble goals for the new year, it’s important to think about why we want these goals and what the values are behind them that we feel will be sustainable. We often hope that dropping a few pounds or implementing more date nights will be the ultimate cure-all to being happier and more fulfilled. In this episode we want to challenge ourselves, to look more deeply into our values and create lasting habits that will create happiness and fulfillment as a byproduct of those actions. 

Finite goals can often be amazing tools to create deadlines and give us clear objectives to shoot for on our path, but the habits and routines that most align with our unique values are the moments when we are most in flow. Working hard, failing, succeeding and ultimately feeling satisfied in all facets of our life is a direct correlation of how closely aligned our actions are with our core values. Before we move forward into 2023 look back and think about the times in our life that we have felt most in flow. These moments will be indicators of habits and moments in our life when we were most fulfilled. 

Instilling those similar habits in the new year in different aspects of our life, like health, work, and relationships can be the difference between a cyclical nature of trying and ultimately quitting. There are no set vessels for happiness or fulfillment, but the nature of the actions must align with our values to create lasting fulfillment and happiness in the new year. Look backwards, make a plan and adjust as you feel you are getting off course from what truly matters to you regardless of the activity or the “goal”.

As individuals we have to be able to gauge in a healthy way how much we are demanding of ourselves. In many ways as children, demands are put on or for us by parents, teachers or coaches. In a lot of ways this shapes what we demand of ourselves as we grow up and become adults. Newfound freedoms of adulthood though can leave us floating day by day, however when we forget to evaluate what we ask of ourselves. 

The demands that exist in adulthood can leave us haggard and feeling burnt out especially when it isn’t tied to a purpose or something we see the practicality in. Other times a lack of demands can leave us unfulfilled constantly seeking out more in places or activities that only offer short term happiness. 

It can become easy to be too easy or too hard on ourselves. The trick is finding a sweet spot in the middle. Some place where you feel challenged, and rewarded by both failure and accomplishment. Without a demanding life we can leave earth with regret that we potentially didn’t do more with the time we had.

There are a certain amount of mundane tasks that are a necessary part of human existence. Washing the dishes, making your bed, checking your email and the list goes on and on. These tasks can seem so mind numbing and repetitive that we look for escape into new and novel experiences. This is a normal and necessary piece of life, we all want to experience new and exciting things. Without planning though we can turn to vices in our lives to alleviate the pain and discomfort of boredom, true fulfillment lies in finding the balance of worthwhile tasks that yield novel experiences, feelings and relationships. 

Examples of this can be professional athletes. They practice the same moves over and over in the gym, but it is all leading up to playing in big games that mean something to them week in and week out. Now we aren’t all professional athletes, so what then becomes the thing that we enjoy toiling towards that brings us novelty. We have to take chances and plan things in our life that challenge us in new and exciting ways to break up the normality of our days. When we create obstacles and challenges in our lives and build towards goals and challenges we can recreate that same balance of boredom and novelty. 

Consistent effort is what brings us the most joy because it comes off the back of sustained hard work. So create plans, schedules and routines that are challenging and new. Get better at them and then move onto new challenges day in and day out, always moving towards the next thing. Not only with this create balance in boredom and novelty, but will also ensure constant growth.