There can be a particular kind of melancholy that settles in when you catch your reflection in the mirror of your life and realize it looks different from the blueprint you once carried so confidently. The slow-dawning awareness that somewhere between your twenties and now, the GPS of your dreams got quietly recalibrated.

In the latest episode of What Matters Most, Antonia Prebble and clinical psychologist Jacqui excavate this millennial anxiety: the gnawing sense that everyone else received a roadmap you somehow missed. Prebble admits to wrestling with the subtle ache of realizing that life has panned out differently than she once dreamed.

Jacqui draws a razor-sharp distinction between aspirations and expectations. Aspirations are living documents, hopes that breathe and evolve with us. Expectations are fixed contracts we inherited from parents, absorbed from culture, crystallized from dreams we've outgrown. Our expectations are often someone else's entirely.

The conversation dives into the weaponization of the word "settling." In our optimization-obsessed culture, settling has become synonymous with surrender. Jacqui suggests we're simply evolving. The life that looks like compromise is actually the one that fits.

The episode's most potent insight: Recognizing that dreams change because we change is the key to moving forward.

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Change is the one thing we count on in life and yet it gets easier. Whether it's a career shift, a new relationship, a move, or just a subtle shift in priorities, change has a way of throwing us off balance.

In this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui take on the complex topic of navigating life transitions, big and small. Our brains treat change as a threat, even when it's something positive or long-awaited. Jacqui dives into the neuroscience behind why our minds crave stability, how rapid changes overwhelm us, and why our ancestors had to deal with the pace of change we face today.

They explore why some people thrive on novelty while others struggle to adapt, and how personality traits and attachment styles play a huge role in how we cope.

Jacqui offers insight into why emotional regulation is crucial when life throws us a curveball and why sometimes, just getting up and taking a shower is the best first step. The episode focuses on practical strategies like practicing cognitive flexibility and reframing our mindset. One key tip: shift from "bouncing back" to "bouncing forward," focusing on how you grow from the experience rather than trying to get back to how things were.

It's about being adaptable. Learning to handle change is like building a muscle: it takes conscious effort, but the results are worth it.

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In this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui tackle one of psychology's most misunderstood concepts: boundaries. Despite becoming a pop psychology buzzword, the reality of setting healthy boundaries is far more nuanced than social media makes it seem.

The hosts explore why boundary-setting feels so intimidating, particularly when online discourse oversimplifies their true purpose. As Antonia observes, "The problem with how boundaries are often discussed online is that they sound like ultimatums. That's not how relationships actually work." Jacqui builds on this insight, explaining that boundaries are fundamentally about your own behavior: what you're willing to do or accept, rather than controlling others.

Together, they discuss practical strategies for recognizing when a boundary is needed, how to communicate it effectively, and why consistency matters even when others push back. At their core, boundaries protect your emotional space while respecting others' autonomy. They're about creating clarity, not building walls.

This episode offers a thoughtful, real-world perspective on honoring your needs while preserving your relationships. As Jacqui emphasizes, boundaries aren't about cutting people off. They're about being clear with yourself first, then communicating those limits with grace and intention.

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In the hierarchy of modern relationships, friendship occupies a peculiar position: essential to our wellbeing, central to our happiness, yet always relegated to the emotional back burner when life gets serious. Romance gets the red carpet but friendship gets the leftover energy.

The episode looks at the particular challenges of millennial friendship maintenance, the juggling act of careers, partnerships, children, and the basic maintenance of adult existence. Balancing connection with the demands of daily life feels overwhelming, and friendships slip through the cracks.

Jacqui takes us back to basics: friendship is about presence. Small, consistent actions make all the difference. The voice note trumps the dinner party. The quick check-in beats the elaborate gesture. Consistency is the currency that matters. They tackle the friendship emotions everyone talks about: the guilt of being available enough, the little pang of jealousy when a friend's life looks more polished than yours, and why being a good friend means showing up as you are.

The episode's most potent revelation: being a good friend means resisting the urge to fix, to solve, to optimize. The most profound gift you offer is being willing to sit in someone else's mess while trying to clean it up.

In a world obsessed with romantic partnerships, this is a love letter to our friends. 

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This week, Antonia and Jacqui perform surgery on one of society's most beloved obsessions. It’s the quiet saboteur of your happiness, hiding behind seemingly admirable qualities like ambition and high standards. It can push you to achieve great things, but perfectionism can also leave you paralyzed, afraid to start anything you might not excel at.

Jacqui breaks down the science behind perfectionism. It's more than wanting to do well, it's an all-consuming need to be flawless. Perfectionism takes different forms: the drive to succeed, the pressure to appear perfect, or the need to control every detail. Each variety comes with its own particular challenges but Jacqui shares tools for managing when it’s crossed the line from helpful to harmful.

Antonia brings the conversation into sharp relief with her own experiences, reflecting on the pressure to perform as an actress and the stress of getting every little thing just right. The peculiar terror of being seen as imperfect in a profession that trades in fantasy.

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We have never had access to so much information. But does it help or hurt us when it comes to seeking answers to support our mental health? The answer may surprise you.

Because there was so much more to cover in last week's episode, Antonia and Jacqui dive even deeper into the world of therapy.

They tackle the avalanche of self-diagnosis, offering advice on how to ensure you get the correct diagnosis and the right support.

Jacqui shares her views on self-help books and provides credible resources for those who may not have access to therapy. The prohibitive cost of therapy is another issue the girls unpack.

This episode is one that everyone will find helpful because, let's be honest, we could all use some guidance in figuring out what is fact and what is fiction.

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…Ok but what is therapy? 

Firstly (and I know we say this every episode) but this is a chat that everyone can benefit from. Whether you have your psychologist on speed dial or have never seen the inside of an office. 

This week Jacqui and Antonia demystify the process and delve into its importance beyond just addressing crises. They highlight the way it can be used to support mental health, personal growth, and overall well-being. They also clarify the role of a psychologist and how it differs from others offering support in the space.

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This week's conversation between Antonia and Jacqui can be a…well, sensitive subject. 

Historically, being called ‘sensitive’ has been equated with weakness. Thankfully, because of thorough research from numerous scholars (we are looking at you Dr. Arthur and Dr Elaine Aron) we have a much deeper understanding of what it means to be ‘a sensitive person’. 

As always, Jacqui’s clinical psychologist lens provides crucial insights into what it means to be a highly sensitive person. The characteristics are probably more diverse than what you expect and the positive ways that it can impact your life may not be common knowledge either. Of course, there are also challenges, which Antonia can relate to, so the pair talk through what they are and how to navigate them. 

This is such a beautiful conversation. One that you will benefit from if you believe you're sensitive yourself or know someone who tends to have a sensitive side. You'll come away with a better understanding of how it affects you or someone you know, and how best to navigate it. 

Sit in a quiet spot, grab a fly swot (IYKYK) and have a listen. 

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This week Antonia and Jacqui are exploring a topic that is another favorite in the self help section of bookstores.  

Habits..they touch every aspect of our lives. From the morning routines that set the tone for our day, to the more unconscious patterns that can hold us back.

As always the girls simplify the science behind how we form habits and how they shape our success. They also explain why it’s so hard to change ‘just one little thing.’

Jacqui shares why self-compassion, rather than self-judgment, is the key to helping us build positive habits and enabling us to design our days with intention.

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