What Now Derek?

Meal replacement drinks... why do they have to be dressed up to look and taste like the shit you shouldn't ever consume after you have lost the weight?

Every bastard has weight loss advice for 100KG plus guys... even Dan suggests a big tapeworm and methamphetamine addiction.

Mums were speed addicts Derek admits to just following nutrition advice that other blokes have paid for.

Derek introduces a new podcast in production "The Good Paddock" that will go deeper into all this male weight stuff.

We start a conversation about social media that has a long way to go....

In one hour we cover....Yakandanda parma, Wake in fright, Crocodile Dundee Vs Wolf Creek, [Will Hanigan the pearl Dundee][1] Dating Demi Moore. Alby Mangels world safari.

Hay-fever Noobs amuse Derek as they turn into sooky Dr Smith.

The Baby Whisperer or Mrs Doubtfire with chloroform up her sleeve?

Mortgage talk... zzzzz. pure boring evil corporate vampires. Also why would a corporation or local government begrudge a small payrise if it means losing half of their productivity?

Dan once worked moving office furniture around and around the same building... I suspect candid camera.

Derek retells his Dad's old Navy Stories. Old Tom built the engines for the last working British steamship.

Eastern suburbs railway stations of the 1980's

Setting Goals and achieving them, one trolley of beer at a time.

Former death metal singer Dave Dread, who has been on a fascinating journey to happiness.

Vegan stage spitting and fake talkback callers. Phew.

Derek attempts to stay up to date with social media and all its nuances, while Dan goes caveman on the whole thing.

DEATH and the journey towards it. Dan has some ideas about how to make it a bit more interesting.

38 crank yankers. It takes a special kind of self loathing masochist or a saint to be a teacher. D&D discuss the merits and malice of being a teacher, followed by a Yoko appreciation session- it is agreed that she was ahead of her time and didn't deserve the hate. Dan briefly loses consciousness while Derek prattles about the Bachelor, Bachcraft, and fortnite. The very first messages are left on the what now special message service. Tuffy Selecta. Gun exposure in the 70's when everyone had an air riffle and shot their mates for recreation., "my dad shot someone", baby 2 novelty worn off from stopping everything, Hidden crazy people of Hanoi and the hairy nipple of disappointment.

37 D&D go deep, deep into a hole of despair and unclear gender roles before resurfacing only to confront the dangers of putting children in water. Should we just let go and let God decide or should we protect our children every second of every day. Is there enough love for two kids and if there is can you stretch that to your partner as well. The great foreskin debate turns into Dan probing Derek for any trace of transgender inclination- can we expect a lady Derek in future? Perhaps not. Dan unpacks his attempts to be gay in the old days, working at the hotdog stand at the Peel. Sexuality is a spectrum and in a world of spectrums is it okay to speculate about whether people are on one.

D&D digress into the strange world of teenage ferreting but not before Dan could reminisce about the school Kidnapping trend of the late seventies, Derek knows too much about the leyland p76, and the time Dan took the guy from the Dandy Warhol's to the Tankerville. Don't talk to the big ones is the lesson learned the hard way. 9.5 million dollar holy hanky, Free range baby boomers and itchy grubs.

The block universe theory sends the blokes up the garden path and into the maze of Derek's mind. What follows is a baffling sojourn into Derek's Spaghetti tree, frozen gelatine metaphor with additional comparisons to the NBN and fibre optics to the complete bewilderment of Dan. Is stealing from the council really stealing if you pay your taxes? Is masculinity really as toxic as everyone says it is? Is it safe to say what you think even if you might be wrong? Or should old white men just shut up from here on in? All this and more when you find yourself once again asking: What now Derek.

D&D confess to a shared love of seventies balladeers, Air Supply - Discuss their options when the kiddies ask the tough questions and cover such topics as: The Heaven's Gate Millennial Death Cult, bush-dancing for scooter nerds, the innocence of youth, recreational surgical castration and the Vatican's attempts to shrink a camel so that it might pass through the eye of a needle.

Derek And Dan go DEEP. In this bonus Monday episode, the lads go straight into Christian religion. It's uses and flaws. The benefits of imaginary friends and ritual in human nature lead them to the conclusion that life would be easy without the crippling logic of atheism.

Understanding - the basis of Derek's 80's hippy beliefs is the basis for the process of stopping the us vs, them mentality that is being used by politicians of all sides.