What Now Derek?

EPICISODE. Derek and Dan got so carried away talking about a miserable life on mars, cult leaders (and how to be one) and Glastonbury in the 90's that an hour went by before we even got to our intended topics. The result will be a bonus episode in a few days.

Introducing co-host Dan Lee. We chat about life as an older dad, school bullying and poo. Plenty of poo.

Does frozen poo really fall from aeroplanes? I don't see how.

speaking of aeroplanes, hear about My 12 hours on a flight with 400 others and NO TOILET.

The unnatural nature of childbirth.

even Elon Musk can fall into the Twitter trap . I discuss fad diets, rock influences and reveal the formats of a few shows I am producing.

Media Rigged Elections -they get away with it every time. Brisbane uber driver lost it in the floods. Attempting to do a show at home is fraught with danger. Blow up baby trump, or a blow-up baby trump. Boris Johnson for PM? Trump reckons that giving him a compliment is qualification for being a head of state.

Like a trapdoor spider, Derek pounces on nearby 'persons of interest' and drags them into his lair. Danny Lee, play-write, comedian, father and all round good egg came in to Castaway Studios to record an episode of More Than A Whelan with Sean Whelan. (look it up, it is ace).

It was great to catch up with me old mate Dan and share stories of fatherhood and reflect on our childlike behaviour of past and present.

We expose the story behind his unusual tattoos and find out how he came to have the instructions for a 20 dollar kettle tattood up his thigh, and the logo for Broom Library on his arm.

Years ago, when I had a bar in Northcote, Dan was good enough to run a night called 'Willow Tales' where different guests were invited to tell their stories.

The kids are locked in the office and I have scavenged enough data to get the headlines on the phone. The Thai Cave Kids are all out, Corruption scandal at Wimbledon, , George Clooney crashed his Vespa and who ya gonna go for in the World Cup Final?

No Internet because TELSTRA SUCKS. Lucky the kids are around on the school holidays, so we tried out the three way interview with inexperienced mic handlers. They did well and we learned a lot about their ambitions (and ice cream). Learn the basics of the Human to Narwhal conversion operation.

Another experiment with facebook goings on fizzes badly and we pick and choose happy stories. Man Shed's in the NT, Orange skies laundry for the homeless, Luke Gosling MP in a safari Suit, cloning the Woolly Mammoth, Birdsville Festival, Penalty shootouts and big baby Trump to fly over London.

Derek's attempt to go with happy stories gets tripped up by paedophile priests, Russian nerve agent Novichok, IVF for the extinct northern White Rhino and driver-less cars.

More on the Thai boys in the cave; Stupid old sexist bully politician doesn't know that is what he is; I'm getting new glasses so It is a quick show