What the HELL Were You Thinking?

Show Notes Episode 458: How We Learned Not to Worry and Ignore the Bomb

This week Host Dave Bledsoe slams half a bottle of tequila, jumps on the bar and screams “AIR RAID WARNING” before stage diving into the mosh pit. (It wasn’t a mosh pit, it was a wedding reception, in which he had crashed. They were doing the chicken dance and he was arrested. Again.) On the show this week we tell you about that time in 1971 when the Emergency Broadcast System told everyone the end was nigh! (But it wasn’t nigh, someone had a fucked up very, very, badly.)

Along the way we discover that Dave doesn’t think of himself as an “influencer”. (Anyone who is “influenced” by Dave needs to check right into rehab.) Then we dive right into why we have an Emergency Broadcast System (Harry Truman and nukes) and all the ways it went dreadfully wrong in 1971. (Honestly people , label your files clearly!  You will be glad you did!) Finally we examine why people just sort of stopped worrying about the end of the world from nukes. (Probably because of all the other ways it was ending right in front of their eyes.)

Our Sponsor this week is Jimmy Earl’s Bait Shop and Doomsday Supply. The end is near, but the fish are still biting.  We open with an innovative way of letting you know this is a test and close with The Black Jeans who have some balloons they bought.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/tpMFQWbOfHo?si=9eVTtvjl44KtHRDo

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

‘Nuclear Alert’ Proves False

https://www.nytimes.com/1971/02/21/archives/nuclear-alert-proves-false-a-false-emergency-nuclear-alert-is-laid.html

The False ‘Emergency’

https://www.nytimes.com/1971/02/22/archives/the-false-emergency.html

For 40 Minutes in 1971, It Seemed the End Was Near

https://www.history.com/news/america-was-once-tricked-into-believing-nuclear-war-had-begun

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Show Notes Summer Short: “Don’t Page Me, Bro!”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe slaps an old beeper he found in a box in the basement on the bar and asks if “doctors drank for free” (They don’t and he isn’t one.)  On the show this week we are doing a Summer Short about that time in the late 80’s when every kid with the beeper in America was slinging smack. (They weren’t and it was racist moral panic thing.)

Along the way we learn about the Worst Summer of Dave’s Life. (He couldn’t drink for a couple of weeks.) Then we dive into the story with the “411” on pagers (but just the basics, this IS a Summer Short) before getting to the meat of the story: how beepers became synonymous with the drug trade. (Was the media involved? You already know the answer!) We then chart the progress from school suspension to felony beeper possession in America’s schools. (Fuck, White People were so scared of Black kids!) We see the fever break thanks to Howard Stern. (We are not making this up) and of course millions of dollars spent by corporations.

Our Sponsor this week is Beeper City, your one and pretty much only stop, for all your beeper needs. We open with all the reasons your dad should buy you a beeper and close with Sir Mix A Lot beep beep beeping along.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/MPZ3cO2zOdQ?si=QGWS2v3qCOZs7mQv

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed: 

MESSAGE IS OUT ON BEEPERS

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1988/07/11/message-is-out-on-beepers/58840caa-523e-413b-9224-60ad94d7803f/

Street Smart: Drug dealers turn on to beepers

https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,962483,00.html

Schools Silencing Beepers

https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-news-and-observer/143472926/

The Forgotten War on Beepers

https://newsletter.pessimistsarchive.org/p/the-forgotten-war-on-beepers

BEEPER BAN IN SCHOOLS URGED

https://www.chicagotribune.com/1988/11/30/beeper-ban-in-schools-urged/

Bad News Beepers

https://tedium.co/2023/06/07/pager-schools-negative-reputation-history/

'Cockroaches of the healthcare system': Why many physicians still use pagers

https://www.beckershospitalreview.com/healthcare-information-technology/cockroaches-of-the-healthcare-system-why-many-physicians-still-use-pagers.html

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Show Notes Episode 370-371 Mega-Mix The Summer of Sam Redux

This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes a “well deserved” rest after “working so hard” on the Summer Series. (All he did was show up in the studio and slur drunkenly into a microphone.) So while he “rests” (If by resting you mean squats in a dimly lit dive bar arguing with the bartender over how many rounds he’s ordered).  So while he “refreshes” we offer a megamix of two episodes we first ran in 2022 as a part of that year’s Summer Series. It is all about the Summer of Sam! So slip on your Boogie Shoes, snug up those bell bottoms and unbutton your flare collared shirt down the navel and get ready to dance! (Just make sure you don’t park in secluded places after the discos close!)

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

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www.whatthehellpodcast.com

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Closing Music: https://youtu.be/g-7uRvLMtzU

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Son of Sam fires into a car, killing a woman sitting next to her boyfriend

https://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/son-sam-kills-woman-sitting-boyfriend-article-1.3351723

Son of Sam shoots and kills couple sitting in parked car in the Bronx

https://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/son-sam-killer-murders-couple-bronx-1977-article-1.3065668

How David Berkowitz Terrorized 1970s New York City As The Demonic ‘Son Of Sam’ Killer

https://allthatsinteresting.com/son-of-sam-david-berkowitz

Key witness describes spotting Son of Sam before attack

https://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/don-afraid-sam-spotter-article-1.3361705

David Berkowitz Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Berkowitz

John L. Keenan, Who Led the ‘Son of Sam’ Manhunt, Dies at 99

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/22/obituaries/John-L-Keenan-Dies.html

SOME DOUBT BERKOWITZ IS AN ONLY ‘SON’

https://nypost.com/1999/06/22/some-doubt-berkowitz-is-an-only-son/

Netflix’s Sons Of Sam Looks At The Real Cost Of True Crime Obsession

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2021/05/10458626/maury-terry-sons-of-sam-netflix-ending

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Show Notes Episode 457: When You Wish Upon A Starr

Part Two of Bill Clinton and Summer Series 2024 Finale 

This week Host Dave Bledsoe parses the definition of the term “owed” in relation to a bar tab. (It depends on what the word “owed” means.) On the show this week we wrap up Summer Series 2024 and the story of Bill Clinton with the Sex Scandal that defined the 90’s. (There are ZERO Monica jokes here, move on if that is what you are looking for.)

Along the way we learn that Dave had a strong sexual attraction to Bill Clinton. (He is always trying to fuck his way to the top!) Then we dive right into why Bill Clinton got into trouble in the first place. (Also Dick Nixon was fucking Zsa Zsa Gabor?) We give the short, short version of Whitewater just to show how far out in left field Ken Starr was with the whole Monica thing! We then meet young Miss Lewinsky (She got fucked by more that just Bill Clinton) and how she and Bill did a very dumb thing together. Then we meet Linda, who loved Monica so much that she betrayed her hoping for a fat book deal. (Linda Tripp is treated EXACTLY how she deserves in this story.) Finally, we examine the moral, legal and ethical points of the whole scandal. (Bill OUGHT to have resigned!)

Our Sponsor this week is Caca de Perro Cubano El Presidente Premium, slip it in, it feels nice! We open with CNN Breaking News and close with Mister Runnerholic, who wants their dream to come true.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music:https://youtu.be/t894hkM6IKc?si=vbrkXai5m3PUHc3d

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

My darlink Zsa Zsa had nine husbands, and slept with Nixon. But her real love? Her Shiht zus

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1296141/My-darlink-Zsa-Zsa-husbands-slept-Nixon-But-real-love-Her-shih-tzus.html#comments

Wikipedia: United States Department of Justice Office of Special Counsel

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Department_of_Justice_Office_of_Special_Counsel

ABC News Special Report

https://abcnews.go.com/US/video/president-clinton-deposed-paula-jones-case-part-60300741

Lewinsky: Two Coasts, Two Lives, Many Images

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/stories/lewprofile.htm

Linda Tripp: A Catalyst of a Clinton Scandal Who Maintained She’d Done Right

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2020/12/26/linda-tripp-obituary-2020-448351

The Impeachment Trial of President William Clinton: An Account

https://www.famous-trials.com/clinton/884-home

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Show Notes Episode 456: “Stand By Your Man”

Part 4 of Summer Series 2024

This week Host Dave Bledsoe finds himself in ethical hot water when he gets drunk and starts confessing to things he really ought to keep to himself. (Like literally! It happens in the first ten minutes of this episode.) On the show this week we kick off the finale of Summer Series 2024 with part one of a two part show about the many peccadillos of William Jefferson Clinton! (A very horny man!)

Along the way we learn things about Dave no one asked for and no one wanted.  Then we dive right into the history of the Man from Hope. (His biggest hope was getting some pussy). From his young life in Arkansas to his education at Dave’s alma mater (Dave never graduated from there, and they keep threatening to sue him for saying this) to his time at Oxford and finally Yale.  We introduce his wife and life partner who for good and bad stood by her man. Then we move right along to his time in Arkansas politics. (Horn dogging all the way) and to his rise in national politics.  Then we meet some of the women (just some, the list is long!) who have had sex with Bill Clinton, whether they wanted to or not. (Things get icky).  Finally we talk about the lawsuit that brought Bill’s House of Horny Cards down.

Our Sponsor this week is Leo Brisky, Divorce Lawyer, because, let’s face it, some people shouldn’t be married. We open with Bill and Hill on 60 Minutes and close with Roman Music, who will be faithful no matter what.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music:https://youtu.be/SHHYQAbKFeY?si=WD_wsUR6pCNjixJB

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Troopers Say Clinton Sought Silence on Personal Affairs : Arkansas: The White House calls their allegations about the President’s private life ‘ridiculous.’

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1993-12-21-mn-4179-story.html

On Tortuous Route, Sexual Assault Accusation Against Clinton Resurfaces

https://www.nytimes.com/1999/02/24/us/on-tortuous-route-sexual-assault-accusation-against-clinton-resurfaces.html

Affidavit From Jane Doe #5

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/stories/affidavit122398.htm

Declaration of Gennifer G. Flowers

https://web.archive.org/web/20080726150653/https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/pjones/docs/flowers031398.htm

Declaration of Paula Jones

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/pjones/docs/jonesdec031398.htm

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Show Notes Episode 455: We Have Clearance Clarence

Part Three of Summer Series 2024

This week Host Dave Bledsoe stumbles in a butch lesbian bar and finds himself among people who will FINALLY buy him drinks. (They found him so harmless they adopted him!) On the show week we talk about the horniest Supreme Court Justice nominee since Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., Horny Clarence Thomas! (Check your coke cans for pubes folks!)

Along the way we chart Dave’s evolution from misogynist pig to soft soy boy. (One of the few good things he’s done with his life!) Then we dive right into our story about a young man, an abusive grandfathers and his dream to eradicate Civil Rights for African Americans and finally repeal that pesky 13th Amendment.(He might just do it!) We follow his life journey from black radical to radical fascism with stops in pornography, misogyny and gross sexual harassment on the way! We meet Anita Hill, the woman who stood up to Horny Clarence but was not a match for Genial Joe Biden.  Finally, we examine the legacy of Anita Hill for women and how Clarence Thomas fucking won in the end. (Not a happy story.)

Our Sponsor this week is Rent-A-Justice, when you don’t have enough money to buy a Supreme Court Justice outright you can rent to own one!  We open with news coverage of Horny Clarence and close with Clarence Carter who be strokin’!

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/NO0SFWYIZNg?si=uol1gdDxQQjihJ28

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Wikipedia: Clarence Thomas

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Thomas#Early_life

Unforgiven

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2007/11/12/unforgiven

Ex-Companion Details ‘Real’ Thomas

https://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/23/us/politics/23thomas.html

Opening Statement of Anita Hill to the Senate Judiciary Committee

https://web.archive.org/web/20180304163805/http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/PDFFiles/Anita%20Hill%20-%20Opening%20Statement.pdf

Senators’ Private Deal Kept ‘2nd Woman’ Off TV : Thomas: Democrats feared Republican attacks on Angela Wright’s public testimony. Biden’s handling of the hearing is criticized.

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1991-10-17-mn-911-story.html

Becoming the Third Wave by Rebecca Walker

https://heathengrrl.blogspot.com/2007/02/becoming-third-wave-by-rebecca-walker.html

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Show Notes Episode 454: “Where The F**K Did I Say Build A Waterslide?”

Part Two of Summer Series 2024

This week Host Dave Bledsoe finds himself in a situation of over promising and under delivering vis-à-vie paying for the staggering amounts of drinks he has consumed. (The bouncers were not at all interested in the timeshare opportunity he offered in recompense.) On the show this week we turn back to the pulpit with the story of a man who loved God so much, he just HAD to build him a theme park. (And also stealing millions for himself) Reverend Jim Bakker.

Along the way we discover that comes from a long line of people not good with money. (The difference being Dave just drinks with his money versus their trying  to help people)Then we dive into a brief history of religion in America and why it has so many con men. (Again people, THE MONEY!) From there we meet a young man from Muskeegon who met the girl of his dreams and set out to build an empire with his faith. (Using other people’s money, of course) We TRY to treat Tammy Faye as lightly as possible, we are not monsters. We meet Jessica Hahn, who was either Machiavellian jezebel or a twenty one year old victim of a powerful, amoral man. (We leave it to you to decide.) Finally we explain how it all fell apart. (You see, there was this waterslide.)

Our Sponsor this week is St Matthew’s Accounting and Bookkeeping, trust the name Jesus trusted with his money. We open the show with ABC new coverage of the scandal and close with Heart Attack, who have been talking to Jesus.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/8BuVm0v9ZJQ?si=i1T2Ti4ogNiIWCnD

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Spartan Herald Journal Oct 7 1989

https://web.archive.org/web/20200213143115/https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=doYfAAAAIBAJ&sjid=nM4EAAAAIBAJ&pg=6009,3137616&dq=finding-refuge-in-a-doting-grandmother&hl=en

FOR JIM AND TAMMY BAKKER, EXCESS WIPED OUT A RAPID CLIMB TO SUCCESS

https://www.nytimes.com/1987/05/16/us/for-jim-and-tammy-bakker-excess-wiped-out-a-rapid-climb-to-success.html

The Second Coming Of Televangelist Jim Bakker

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/kelseymckinney/second-coming-of-televangelist-jim-bakker

The scandals that brought down the Bakkers, once among US's most famous televangelists

https://abcnews.go.com/US/scandals-brought-bakkers-uss-famous-televangelists/story?id=60389342

Bakker Issues Denial of Rival TV Minister’s New Sex Allegations

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-04-26-mn-1576-story.html

Wikipedia: Jim Bakker

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bakker#Fraud_conviction_and_imprisonment

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Show Notes Episode 453: I Have Sinned Against You 

Part 1 of Summer Series 2024

This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets religion as he fervently prays for absolution of his bar tab. (Prayer is always the last refuge of a scoundrel and a deadbeat.) On the show this week we kick off Summer Series 2024 Let’s Talk About (Scandals) with part one, the story of a pious man who loved to “minister” to the sex workers just a little too much: Reverend Jimmy Swaggart.

Along the way Dave explains why he is such a disappointment to his family. (Well one of the many reasons.) Then give you a brief history of why Christians are compelled to want you to be a Christian too. (Enjoy this copy of The Watch Tower.) Then we meet Jimmy Lee Swaggart, cousin to Jerry Lee Lewis and Mickey Gilley. (True, we looked it up!) We follow Jimmy’s rise from humble servant of the Lord singing in church to preaching on the television and finally the pulpit of a multi-million dollar international ministry. (Did he have his own private jet? You bet your ass he did.) We learn how Jimmy spent millions of tax free dollars every year. (Did he sponsor a private army in Africa that committed war crimes?  You bet your ass he did!) Finally, we find out what brought it all down for the Reverend. (A low rent hotel and a lower rent sex worker.) 

Our Sponsor this week is Sin Away, we can’t absolve your sins, but we can plea bargain them down. We open the show with news footage of Jerry’s little goof ‘em up and close with Gates & Goodell who want you to conserve electricity.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/ORJzGGHa2OQ?si=b6qgHcCCjjTPp91H

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Wikipedia: Jimmy Swaggart

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Swaggart

Wikipedia: Tent Revivals

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tent_revival

About Jimmy Swaggart

https://www.jsm.org/about-jimmy-swaggart

JIMMY SWAGGART AND THE SNARE OF SIN

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1988/02/25/jimmy-swaggart-and-the-snare-of-sin/d07127d2-c412-4738-98d9-3b186d1b92f9/

The Fall of Jimmy Swaggart

https://people.com/archive/cover-story-the-fall-of-jimmy-swaggart-vol-29-no-9/

Woman Riding in Swaggart Car Says She’s a Prostitute

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1991-10-12-mn-202-story.html

Swaggart: God Says `It's None Of Your Business'

https://web.archive.org/web/20200219033627/https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=19911017&slug=1311458

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Show Notes Summer Short #2: Cause of Death: Pop Rocks

This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries to impress an old drunk lady at the bar by offering to demonstrate the size of his Eructation, and gets tasered before she learned it meant burps. (She tasered him again after she did learn it) On the show this week, it’s a Summer Short, smaller episodes we do to give our writers a break during the Summer.  This week, the tragic death of Life Cereal’s Mikey by Pop Rock consumption. (Hint: It didn’t happen.)

Along the way we learn that Dave ‘s poor life choices are part of a long history with him. (Ask his parents) Then we move right into an abbreviated history of all things carbonated candy. We meet the inventors and companies that shepherded this life changing product to store shelves.(For a little while) Then comes the tragic story of how Coke took the life of an American icon. (The soda, not the nose candy.) Finally we expose the REAL TRUTH ™ behind the story of Pop Rocks. (Hint: It wasn’t exploding kids.)

Our Returning Sponsor this week is The Year 1983, 1983, we gave you Nintendo and took everything else you loved  in exchange!  We open the show with a 1979 commercial for the Death Candy and close with Steven DeLio who has some thoughts on things that go “pop”. 

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/Jo4T9MZe_M0?si=N4zVhG8K8DHEU-fK

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

When Pop Rocks Exploded In the 1970s

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/646469/pop-rocks-candy-explosion-1970s

Did Pop Rocks and Soda Kill 'Little Mikey'?

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/pop-rocks-soda/

M I K E Y : A N   I N V E S T I G A T I O N .

https://web.archive.org/web/20070610224045/http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2002/10/07mikey.html

How the Explosive 'Pop Rocks and Coke' Legend Destroyed an Iconic Candy Brand

https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/pop-rocks-urban-legend-mikey-death

Pop Rocks - The Candy that Killed a Child T.V. Star

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/pop-rocks-candy-killed-child-tv-star-gregory-farrell-pqole

Wikipedia: Pop Rocks

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pop_Rocks

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Show Notes Episode 452: Subterranean Homesick Alien Autopsy

This week Host Dave Bledsoe is back from his tax deductible “research trip” where he was researching a story about a old, fat, drunk man who gets thrown out of bars in a small southeastern Tennessee town screaming “You can’t do this, I was born here!” (He was, and they can.) On the show this week we examine a television show that purported to show an alien autopsy that aired on Fox in 1995. (Fox, bringing the bullshit for over thirty years!)

Along the way we learn that Dave saw a UFO on his flight, or at least what he thought was one. (It wasn’t. He was drunk.) Then we dive right into why Americans Wanted To Believe in UFOs back in the mid 90’s. (It was more that they wanted to have a threesome with Scully and Mulder.) We meet the “brains” behind Alien Autopsy: Fact or Fiction and ask the question, was Jonathan Frakes having money troubles when he did this? From there we introduce you to the English record producer who “accidentally” discovered footage proving that life exists on other planets and were visiting Earth for decades. (They aren’t and he didn’t.) Finally, we discuss WHY people believed it was real. (people are very stupid.)

Our returning Sponsor is Morley Cigarettes, America Smokes a Morely.  We open with the Fox Special and close with Warrenmusic who met a friend on the subway.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

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Closing Music:https://youtu.be/uZpDRZMWyM4?si=aPWV555CD--CE3rK

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Citations Needed:

The Last Time There Was a Craze About UFOs and Aliens

https://www.thebulwark.com/p/the-last-time-there-was-a-craze-about-ufos-and-aliens

E.T. or B.S.? When Fox Aired Its Infamous 'Alien Autopsy' in 1995

https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/fox-1995-alien-autopsy-hoax

AUTOPSY OR FRAUD-TOPSY?

https://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,983764,00.html

Santill's Controversial Autopsy Movie

http://www.v-j-enterprises.com/kjeff396.html

Man behind infamous ‘alien autopsy’ video finally reveals the whole truth behind it

https://metro.co.uk/2017/09/25/man-behind-infamous-alien-autopsy-video-finally-reveals-the-whole-truth-behind-it-6954667/

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