What the HELL Were You Thinking?

Show Notes Episode 429: The President Called Me A Lard Ass

This week Host Dave Bledsoe relives his youthful trauma when some vicious preteens inadvertently call him a long forgotten childhood nickname. (Fat Ass, it was Fat Ass!) On the show this week we take a look back at the annual childhood trauma that was the Presidential Fitness Test. (You will want a box of tissues for this one.)

Along the way we discover why Dave never played team sports in school. (See the nickname: Fat Ass!) Then we dive right into the story of how The Depression made the Greatest Generation such sexy bitches.  From there we dig into how Cold War Paranoia led 10 US Presidents to force fat kids to embarass themselves in front of their peers.  (That’s when the wedgies started!) We learn how Eisenhower and Kennedy believed the Baby Boomers were soft and unmanly, so they instituted a quasi military fitness program for grammar school kids.  Dave goes into excruciating detail what it was like to take the President’s Fitness Test as a larger child. (Again, we point out, they called him “Fat Ass”) We explain how Arnold Schwarzenegger tried to convince kids it was cool to be mercilessly mocked by their more athletic classmates, and finally why Gen Z and Gen Alpha are no longer forced to endure this ritual humiliation. (Thanks Obama!)

Our sponsor this week is Flintrock Chewable Yaba Gaba ZOOM Diet Pills for Kids and Dino Downers, to help you tubby little tykes lose that “baby fat”.  We open with a Kennedy era fitness test and close with TomeStyle, who would like to hear what your body has to say.  

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/mW-Cn87IdNI?si=AXsgXGlpr8rOk4Rc

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

Wikipedia Presidential Fitness Test

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presidential_Fitness_Test

THE REPORT THAT SHOCKED THE PRESIDENT

IT CAME FROM TWO PHYSICAL FITNESS EXPERTS WHO TESTED U.S. AND EUROPEAN YOUNGSTERS, AND IT SHOWS THAT THE U.S. IS RAPIDLY BECOMING THE SOFTEST NATION IN THE WORLD

https://vault.si.com/vault/1955/08/15/the-report-that-shocked-the-president

The sad, sad stories of the Presidential Fitness Test

https://www.sbnation.com/2015/7/31/9038201/the-sad-sad-stories-of-the-presidential-fitness-test

Tools Of The Trade: The Presidential Physical Fitness Test

https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2014/11/24/365716113/tools-of-the-trade-the-presidential-physical-fitness-test

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Show Notes Holiday Bonus: Holiest Jolliest Time of the Year

Yeah, Dave got drunk for Thanksgiving, forced Gavin to work on the holiday to make a clip show.  Enjoy.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/o6Q2lwzN3K8?si=2RIBcHp_o_hjUp1j

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

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Show Notes Episode 428: Black Friday, I’ve Been Shoved

This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands 50% off his bar tabs for Black Friday, only to discover Black Eye Friday when the bouncer punches him in the face. (Again.) On the show this week, we prepare you for the Christmas Shopping Season by telling you the True History of Black Friday!

Along the way we discover why Dave is afraid to ever step foot in a WalMart again. (He got his ass kicked in the Garden Center like a little bitch! True story!) Then we dive right into the origins of the busy shopping day of the year. (Does it have anything to do with unfettered Capitalism?  You bet your sweet bippy!) From the Panic of 1869 to FDR bumping up the date, we tell you all about the origins and THEN we get to the Old Ultra Violence! (It just wouldn’t be America without unnecessary and excessive violence!) Finally we explain in detail all the ways you are being ripped off by the retailers on Black Friday and why America finally decided to just Stay Home and eat turkey leftovers.  (Some of America anyway)

Our Sponsor this week is www.seltzerkings.com/shop and our Black Friday Blowout Sale, get a thong with Dave’s face on it!  We open with a vintage Black Friday commercial and close with SingIt explaining why Friday is for lovers!

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music:\https://youtu.be/SPEVov-4Xmo?si=MIC2Iz9-Q1SQr02G

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

What’s the Real History of Black Friday?

https://www.history.com/news/black-friday-thanksgiving-origins-history

Wikipedia: Black Friday (Shopping)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_(shopping)

Black Friday

https://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2010/11/black-friday/

Black Friday Death Count

https://blackfridaydeathcount.com/

Dirty secrets of Black Friday 'doorbusters'

https://money.cnn.com/2009/11/20/news/economy/black_friday_doorbuster_secrets/

BLACK FRIDAY STATISTICS [2023]: FACTS ON SALES + TRENDS YOU NEED TO KNOW

https://www.zippia.com/advice/black-friday-statistics/

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Show Note Episode 427: The Original Party Animal

This week Host Dave Bledsoe drunkenly and loudly insists that Spuds MacKenzie wasn’t even Scottish while being physically ejected from a Bottom Brunch in Hell's Kitchen. (Again) On the show this week we head back to 1987 when American kind of wanted to get their freak on with a dog: Spuds MacKenzie.

Along the way we learn that Dave grew up with a series of problematically named dogs. (So much bigotry in him!) Then we dive right into our story about a scrappy little brewing company, their quest to make America party again, and maybe make a few billions dollars along the way! We discuss how Budweiser went searching for just the right messaging for their new “light” beer. (And yes, they thought about using boobies to sell beer!) Only to discover the real life of the party was a Bull Terrier named Evie all along! (Spuds was Budweiser’s first gender non-conforming pitch person!) We follow Spuds mania from the beginning on college dorm room walls to the inevitable backlash spearheads by a geriatric racist Senator. (The one from South Carolina, no the other one, the one with an illegitimate black child, that still leaves a lot of names on the table, let’s be even more specific: Strom Thurmond)

Our Sponsor this week is Bark Anon, when your dog is ready to quit drinking, call Bark Anon. We open the show with a Spud commercial and close with Spud’s Party Anthem.

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music:https://youtu.be/dBq1V-mG5Uw?si=_TVIE80cB-zZZRWy

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

The Real Mystery of Bud Light

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/07/rise-and-fall-bud-light-boycott/674752/

The Life, Death, and Resurrection of Spuds MacKenzie, The Original Party Animal

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/56228/life-death-and-resurrection-spuds-mackenzie-original-party-animal

Spuds MacKenzie: An Underdog’s Triumph : ‘The Original Party Animal’ Has Become the Nation’s Most Unlikely Sex Symbol

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-07-16-vw-4213-story.html

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Show Notes Episode 426: Interview About the Vampire

The Conclusion of Spooktacular 2023

This week Host Dave Bledsoe is joined by Executive Producer Kimberly Steele who is a real person and not at all made up! (He has friends! At least one, anyway.) Together they talk about vampires in pop culture, particularly about Anne Rice’s vampires and then Joss Whedon’s vampires. (We loved him before we knew Joss was the Big Bad all along!)

So settle back and spend an hour with a person who knows what they are talking about and Dave, who doesn’t. Finally we close out Spooktacular 2023 in the scariest way we could think of, so stay through the credits for a jump scare that will leave you screaming.

We’ll be back on our regular bullshit…NEXT WEEEEEEK!

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

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Show Notes Episode 425: VH Investigations Part Two

Part 4 of Spooktacular 2023

This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes off his podcaster mankini and slips into his fiction writer thong for an original audio short story. (If only it was half as horrifying as the mental image of Dave we just gave you!)

VH Investigations is a vampire noir audio short story, written and performed by Dave Bledsoe. This is the second part of a two part series, if you haven’t listened to part one you should probably do that first. 

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: Noches de Insomnio

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

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Show Notes Episode 424: VH Investigations Part One

Part 3 of Spooktacular 2023

This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes off his podcaster mankini and slips into his fiction writer thong for an original audio short story. (If only it was half as horrifying as the mental image of Dave we just gave you!)

VH Investigations is a vampire noir audio short story, written and performed by Dave Bledsoe. This is the first part of a two part series, part two will arrive in your feed one week after this one. 

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: Noches de Insomnio

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

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Patreon Bonus Spooktacular 2022: We Call Satan to the Witness Stand

In this Patreon Exclusive Host Dave Bledsoe attempts to sue himself, the bar, Jameson Whiskey and the Lord God Himself to get out of these bartabs that were clearly THEIR fault! (He couldn’t find a lawyer to take his case, not even if he represented himself) On the bonus we talk about suing The Devil and why it is a bad idea! (All the lawyers are on his retainer)

Along the way we learn about Ralph J Forbes from Arkansas, self avowed Nazi, Senate candidate and general pain in the ass and his attempt to sue the Devil. (This guy would have a Trump Rally for him these days!) Then we learn about Gerald Mayo, who sued the Devil for making him such a loser. (The Devil denied any involvement citing never having anything to do with a loser like Mayo) and then wrapped up with a law professor's guide to suing the Devil! 

Our Sponsor this week is Agamemnon and Associates Attorneys at Law, when you need a helluva good lawyer, call Agamemnon! We open with Lucifer in the People’s Court and close with Gareth Heesom asking for a little compassion!

Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/Q1xhqBVu7ME

We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/

Citations Needed:

1986: When A Former Nazi Sued Satan In The Name Of Jesus Christ

https://groovyhistory.com/halloween-lawsuit-against-satan-nazi-ralph-forbes

Wikipedia: United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_ex_rel._Gerald_Mayo_v._Satan_and_His_Staff

Charles M. Yablon

https://cardozo.yu.edu/directory/charles-m-yablon#:~:text=Yablon%20was%20an%20associate%20at,involving%20two%20and%20more%20companies.

Suing the Devil: A Guide for Practitioners

https://www.jstor.org/stable/1073956

Suing Yourself - Is it Possible?

https://donotpay.com/learn/suing-yourself-is-it-possible

Bagley v. Bagley

https://law.justia.com/cases/utah/supreme-court/2016/20150182.html

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