What the HELL Were You Thinking?

Episode 209: All We Are Saying Is, Give Impeachment a Chance

This week Host Dave Bledsoe and the staff are embroiled in an editorial fracas over what to name the show. (Peaches! COME ON the bands LITERAL name is Presidents of the United States!) Also, we talk about the Mueller Report and what should done about it. (But come on imPEACHment! It makes so much sense!)

Along the way we dig into the details provided by the Special Counsel about the crimes, demi-crimes and quasi-crimes committed by President Peach. We dive into the Attorney General’s position that you can’t prosecute obstruction when there was no underlying crime. (Martha Stewart begs to differ!) Then we tackle the legal, political and moral implications of Congress doing their damn jobs only to realize, Congress doesn’t recognize those words. Finally, we make an impassioned argument for justice. (For an atheist, Dave sure does love to preach. Or PrEACH!)

Our Sponsor this week is Incompetence, when you want to crime but aren’t smart enough, its Incompetence. We open the show with Don Jr’s Tiny Brain and close with Kuhn Family Singers.

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5lqsCiki3Q&feature=youtu.be

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Show Notes Episode 208 “Times We Got Wasted on the Way” (4th Anniversary Show)

This week host Dave Bledsoe sobers up briefly and reacts in horror at how he’s spent the last four years of his life. (He had a few drinks to settle his nerves, he’s fine now.) On the show this week we spend our time gazing in our navels about what we’ve learned in four years of doing a low rated podcast. (Very, very, VERY little.)

Along the way we learn that Dave is an award winning poet. (If you count Second Grade) a playwright and a part time exotic dancer. We go behind the scenes on what it takes to make a low rated podcast (The cheapest whiskey we can find in a Jameson bottle, he will never know) and what kind of masochism we must possess to keep doing it over and over, year after year. (We are very bad daddy, we deserve the punishment.) (We also should be punished for writing that last parenthetical.) Finally, Dave get’s all drunk and maudlin and thanks everyone who’s helped him out, made him laugh or just annoyed the shit out of him, giving him something to talk about on the podcast. (It goes on for a while.) Finally, we look to the future and frankly we do not like what we see. (More episodes.)

Our Sponsor this week is Irish Whiskey, we would tell you the name but we are not allowed. We open with some French Philosophy and close with Gerald Hartley and time management.

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHPYklzlujI

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Show Notes Episode 207: Teach the World Turtle

This week Host Dave Bledsoe helps science image a Black Hole MUCH closer to Earth by providing them with ten years of his credit reports. On the show this week, we examine the conspiracy theory that makes QAnon seem quite logical: Flat Earthers. (Though, many of them are the same people people.)

Along the way we learn about Dave’s crippling fear of Vampires in his youth and his flirtation with Catholicism. (It didn’t take long to be replaced by a rational fear of Catholics Priests.) Then we dive right in to the history of Religious Cosmology throughout the ages, from the Ur myths of Humanity to YouTube. Then we examine the history of the Flat Earth grift and discover who is profiting from the contemporary Stupidity Industrial Complex. (It is EXACTLY who you think it is.) Finally, we divine the only remotely possible Flat Earth theory, the World Turtle AND the Elephants. (Everyone leaves out the Elephants!)

Our Sponsor this week is Humoralism, who remind you to get your Phlegm and Black BIle checked regularly. We open the show by telling you the Moon is not real and close with Will Michael and the Mad Frogger teaching the controversy.

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The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WROuFiAN-M&feature=youtu.be

Citations Needed:

Flat Earther’s FAQ:

https://wiki.tfes.org/Flat_Earth_-_Frequently_Asked_Questions

Myth of the Flat Earth

http://www.veritas-ucsb.org/library/russell/FlatEarth.html

The Flat Out Truth

https://www.lockhaven.edu/~dsimanek/fe-scidi.htm

How the Internet Made Us Believe in a Flat Earth

https://medium.com/s/world-wide-wtf/how-the-internet-made-us-believe-in-a-flat-earth-2e42c3206223

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Episode 206: The Guns of Brexit

This week Host Dave Bledsoe gives Gavin his birthday present only for Gavin to discover it’s an empty bottle of his favorite Scotch. On the show this week we head across The Pond and talk Brexit. (Whatever the hell THAT is!)

Along the way we learn the history of Europe in under two minutes and why even THEY finally decided they didn’t want to do war no more. (And they were SO good at it!) We discover how the European Union grew from few wild nights in Rome into the Tussles In Brussels! (Don’t worry we go quick.) Then we explain what a Brexit IS and what it is going to do the the United Kingdom, who wins and who loses when Brexit finally happens. (Ireland wins, everyone else loses.) Finally, we look at how Brexit ties into our own Little Problem in America.

Our Sponsor is Restore From Last Good Copy, because sometimes you can’t fix what you fucked up. We open the show with Dennis’ political viewpoints and close with Justin Armstrong who just wants to know what to do.

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeTkZNHIhRU

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Episode 205: Who Will Save Our Souls

This week Host Dave Bledsoe sifts for clues, canvasses the neighborhood and grills the suspects to solve the mystery of what happened to his dignity and self respect. (Turns out, he never had any.) On the show this week we try to solve the mystery of what happened with the Mueller Report. (Turns out, Trump is just a clueless shit for brains!)

Along the way we talk 70’s Detectives and why we never got a Gran Torino like Starsky and Hutch. (We were NEVER that cool!) Then we dip our toes into the Barr Memo on the Mueller Report about the Russia Investigation in almost a few words and as quickly as the Attorney General used. (NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION!) We look at Mueller as the Magical Unicorn that was gonna save us all. (Turns out he was just a man, a man wearing a single horn on his head, but just a man.) Then we explain where to go from here. (Maybe for ice cream?)

Our Sponsor this week is Deal With It, for when things don’t work out the way you wanted. We open with Tony Giardino’s career woes and close with Nathaniel Bacon asking for shoe repair.

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The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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www.whatthehellpodcast.com

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMRL6D7hofc

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Show Notes Episode 204: Kellyanne, Don’t Take Your Love to Trump

This week Host Dave Bledsoe doles out relationship advice, unfortunately his only lasting one is with a bottle of Jameson. (To be fair, they’ve been together for years!) On the show this week, we talk Conway vs Conway in a steel cage match to keep the love of a good woman from being stolen away by a dinky fingered porn groper. (Surprisingly, this is NOT as shot at Dave!)

Along the way we look at the history of Worst Couple as they rose from the children of wealth and privilege to the highest pinnacles of D.C. power. (They took the elevator one floor) From there we look at love and politics in America only to find we might be good for a one night stand with Campus Gun Chick, we are NOT going to take her home to meet Mom! (Who, actually, would LOVE her!) Finally, we ask the hard question: Are George and Kelletor gonna be OK after this week of hell. (Our sources say they are snuggling all the way to the bank.)

Our Sponsor this week is Fix-A-Spouse, don’t divorce: deprogram! We open the show with the Woolf’s and a lovely dinner party and close with the Dukes of Maslow asking if Ruby could leave her love at home.

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The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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www.whatthehellpodcast.com

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2Bxq4PSTaI

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Show Notes Episode 203: Bribing Your Way Into Bartender College

This week Host Dave Bledsoe’s alma mater files a restraining order to prevent him from revealing his matriculation at their institution. On the show this week we talk about parents showing their love for their children by breaking Federal Law. (Our parents don’t love US enough to risk prison, that’s for sure!)

Along the way we learn how to ace your SATs without even trying. (Hint: Crime!) We ask some hard questions about college athletics. (WATER POLO? Seriously?) We then discuss more traditional means of college admissions through expenditures of money most people don’t have, from buying buildings to test prep. (Test prep cost about as much as bribing the proctor.) We also point out that what the admissions scandal parents did probably shouldn’t be illegal since the entire system is constructed to encourage doing exactly what they did, and why the colleges like it that way. (Each generations of student loans produces the next! Perfect plan!)

Our Sponsor this weeks is Fast Eddie’s Prep Academy, paving the way to trade schools for underachievers, because they need the help! We open the show with Rodney Dangerfield throwing money at a University and the Vitamin String Quartet inquiring on the status of their degree?

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The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4ui3ofz2gw

Citations Needed:

Inside the Pricey, Totally Legal World of College Consultants

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/13/us/admissions-cheating-scandal-consultants.html

Here Are All The Incredible Details From The College Admissions Bribery Scandal

https://deadspin.com/here-are-all-the-incredible-details-from-the-college-ad-1833236579

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Show Notes Episode 202: “Sometimes, Bad Is Bad”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe puts on his parachute pants, digs out his fedora and snaps his glove on to Moonwalk into the 80’s only to discover he is too fat to fit into any of that anymore. (Even the fedora.) On the show this week we take on the documentary EVERYONE is talking about. (No not that one where they manufacture Play Doh, the OTHER one!)

Rather than tackle the hard questions of guilt or innocence (And because we feel there really IS no question) we bravely run away from the content of Leaving Neverland and talk about how famous Michael Jackson REALLY was! (He BOUGHT the Beatles, think about that!) and how he was able to to fly around the world with a bevy of ever changing white boys and no one thought it was even a LITTLE strange. We go on a trip to Disney World to see Captain EO. (Seriously, Elvis didn’t get his own Disney attraction!) Then we check in on the rise and fall of America’s Love Affair with the King of Pop. (Yes, we play the Eddie Murphy clip). Finally, we answer the hard questions on what do we do with Michael’s legacy after this and explain why there will NEVER be another Michael Jackson. (At least a new generation of young boys can sleep a little sounder now.) There is also a real chance the studio will be fire bombed by angry Jackson fans when the show goes live. So, a little neighborhood improvement in Howard Beach Queens.

Our Sponsor this week is Your Gut, when the situation sounds dubious, like a grown man sleeping with your seven year old boy, Trust Your Gut. We open the show Michael angrily explaining himself and closed with the HardRide Cover Band explaining that sometimes a Bad thing is not necessarily a good thing after all.

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The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4ui3ofz2gw

Citations Needed:

MICHAEL JACKSON AT 25: A MUSICAL PHENOMENON

https://www.nytimes.com/1984/01/14/arts/michael-jackson-at-25-a-musical-phenomenon.html

Michael Jackson’s special friends and their stories (every friend has his own article):

https://mjandboys.wordpress.com/michaeljacksonsyoungfriends/

The Neverland Insiders Who Spoke Out Against Michael Jackson

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/03/michael-jackson-leaving-neverland-allegations-staff-friends-family

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Show Notes Episode 201: Horrible Bosses

This week Host Dave Bledsoe completes the staff’s annual performance reviews only to find they all quit some time ago. (Except for you, Gavin.) On the show this week, we talk about Senator Amy Klobuchar candidacy for Worst Boss of the Year and whether or not it impacts her chances on that other thing she’s running for. (Hint: Yes.)

Along the way we learn about some of Dave’s worst bosses, his best boss and about his own management style. (Gavin keeps laugh/barking at the term “management”) We learn what it means to be “Minnesota Nice” (turns out, not very nice at all) and about alternative eating utensils. We examine the gender dynamics of working for an asshole boss and solve once and for all which is worse: asshole male boss of asshole female boss. (The answer may shock you!) Finally, we discuss not the BEST way to handle your asshole boss, a definitely A way.

Our Sponsor this week is Ebeneezer’s Employment Emporium, the answer to asshole’s staffing needs for 200 years. We open the show with Will Ferrel’s management style and close with Ricky Comb’s resignation.

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QG2iq1T6XU

Citations Needed:

Minnesota Not So Nice

http://www.startribune.com/minnesota-nice-it-s-like-ice/266823811/

Keep Cutlery In Your Pocket

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/22/us/politics/amy-klobuchar-staff.html

The Purple Rager

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/clinton/interviews/myers2.html

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Show Notes Episode 200: “Just A Little Prick”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe celebrates two hundred shows by finally getting himself checked out after that long weekend in Juarez. (Diagnosis: he’s still owes 800 Pesos on bar tab) On the show this week we ask the doctors to give it to us straight, only to find we can’t take the news about anti-vaxxers.

Along the way we learn the history of vaccines panics (turns out people LIKED dying of Smallpox) and how they crop up in the same places every so often. We learn what Moses, Jesus and Mohammed had to say about getting vaccines. (Nothing. Absolutely nothing.) We run down the Who’s Who of the Anti-Vaxxer movement and find ourselves shocked that the non-Baldwin Brother Baldwin is involved! (Oh, Adam, we loved you as Jayne Cobb!) We also look into the medical “professionals” who support the wildly inaccurate claims of the movement. (For a price.) Finally, we assign blame to the one person who has done more to make the movement flourish than any other. (Rhymes with Zark Muckerberg.)

Our Sponsor this week is Smallpox, why NOT give Smallpox another chance? We open the show with Reginald’s diagnosis and close with The Madcap covering an easily curable malady.

Finally, from all of us at What the HELL Were You Thinking, we sank thank you for supporting us for TWO HUNDRED of these dumb shows and ask from the bottom of our heart, what the HELL were you thinking?

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Show Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffEYlA9MpIc&feature=youtu.be

Citations Needed:

New York’s Orthodox Jewish community is battling measles outbreaks. Vaccine deniers are to blame.

https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/11/9/18068036/measles-new-york-orthodox-jewish-community-vaccines

History of Anti-vaccination Movements

https://www.historyofvaccines.org/content/articles/history-anti-vaccination-movements

The Anti-vaccination Movement: A Regression in Modern Medicine

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6122668/

Half of new parents shown anti-vaccine misinformation on social media – report

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jan/24/anti-vaxxers-spread-misinformation-on-social-media-report

Medical “Professionals” Speak Out

http://theviennareport.us/medical-professionals-speak-out/

Anti-vaccine doctors – naming names and listing lists

https://www.skepticalraptor.com/skepticalraptorblog.php/anti-vaccine-doctors-naming-names/

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