What the HELL Were You Thinking?

SHOW NOTES EPISODE #115: “The Center Cannot Hold”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe plaintively asks if he is naught but a pair of ragged claws only to discover he’s mixed up W.B. Yeats and T.S. Elliott. Again. On the show this week we plaintively ask why can’t we all just get along only to discover we’ve NEVER really gotten along, we just stopped pretending to even try.

Along the way we discover that He Man and She Ra were really concerned about pedophiles in the 80’s, and that despite what they told us in school, the United States is not historically a Nation. (Fake History! Sad!) There is a digression into why Tim Allen is so persecuted and deeper digression into furniture styles since the Revolutionary War. (Only one of these is relevant.) Also, there is Springsteen as Prophet and ponder if establishing a religion around The Boss is fiscally sound. Finally, we lean excessively on the hackneyed rhetorical and literary crutch of The Second Coming. (The poem not the sad second masturbation session of a Sunday afternoon.) We warn the listener in advance, this not a “peppy” show with a lot of “happiness” or “hope” within. We also warn the listener that over use of quoted words make you appear a bit prickish. (This does not “stop” us from doing so.)

Our Sponsor this week is Leon’s Sphinx repair, from Giza to the your front stoop, we solve the riddle of keeping your Sphinx clean. We open the show with Dave reading Yeats and close with Geoffrey Schott (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WftyKtMELR4) telling us he feels fine about the end of the world.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

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The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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SHOW NOTES EPISODE #114: “The Mystery of Fresno”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe attempts to roll a Saving Throw against the Real World and fails. On the show this week we turn our backs on all the bad news about shootings, Trumpcare and racist government officials and dive deep into a mystery of Lovecraftian proportion: Gary Gygax’s FBI File!

Along the way we learn everything there is to know about the Father of Role Playing Games from his rough origins on the mean streets of Chicago to his youth on the even meaner if more manicured streets of Lake Geneva Wisconsin. (Do NOT mess with the gardeners, they WILL rake you!) Even you if never rolled a 20 sided die in your life, you will be enspelled by the origins of the game and the dark pacts signed by the creators to our Dark Lord Satan. Thrill to the adventures of Gary in the Sun Blasted Land of Hollywood and the Evils of the Masters of Entertainment. Lament the terror of seeing your childhood despoiled into a terrible cartoon with a midget, a goat bleating unicorn and a bunch of ungrateful kids who were IN THE FUCKING GAME and cried about having cool magical powers! (Come ON, that is all we ever WANTED!) Lament the at downfall of the King to the evil sorceress Lorraine. Learn the dark Secrets of Fresno and the Conspiracy of Silence the government doesn’t want you to know! Finally, discover the secret game and why Dave always plays Erica Kaine. (He secretly wants be Susan Lucci.)

Much of the source material for this week comes from the biography of Gary Gygax Empire of Imagination’ by Michael Witwer. If you want to TRUE story and not just the shit we made up, we commend you to it’s pages.

Our sponsor this week is Grognards School for Gamers, turning sport kids into chubby gamer nerds for 40 years! We open the show with Al Gore’s Nerd Corp and close with Jump Steady’s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LYQbaWb4vM&app=desktop) Dungeon Master.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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Episode #113: “St. Comey’s Day”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands loyalty from the staff in all things, and still can’t get Gavin to refill the damn ice trays when he empties one. On the show this week we celebrate the Feast of Saint Comey commemorating the day he came to the Senate and told them the President is a big fat doo doo head liar. (Religion is SO beautiful!)

Along the way we share a particularly disturbing image of Henry Kissinger in a leather gimp mask, and learn that even a hardened G-Man has one good novel inside! We also remind you that when you Boss “hopes” you can work this weekend, you are canceling your weekend plans. Then we discover that even a shifty little Confederate racist elf can be in bed with the Russians too! (Maybe it’s Elfin magic!) Finally, we see the Liar Liar Pants on Fire Defense come to its final fruition in the Oval Office!

Our sponsor this week is Don Vito’s Intimidation Training, when you gotta get this guy to do what you need him to do, Don Vito’s helps you get them message through. We open with the What the HELL Were You Thinking Players and close with an amazing acoustic cover of Judas Priest by Johnny XE, Muzzzicman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VGTB4rnDcc)

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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EPISODE #112: “The Legend of the Headless President”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe shows America on the ventriloquist dummy where the bad joke touched him. On the show this week we discuss the hurt feelings and bitter tears shed when Kathy Griffin made Trump cry. (Donald, not Barron.)

Along the way, we draw a parallel to a dead

Greek that is shocking even to us. (Who THINKS of this stuff?) We remind the NSA that even if we say the words in the correct order, this does not mean we intend to do thing we said. (When we said we wanted to join ISIS, we were watching Archer!) If we said some slighting things about Chris Clizilla, we apologize, it’s just that you are objectively horrible. If we lingered a little too long on the stock boy at Piggly Wiggly, it’s only because he is too dreamy. If we went overboard with the sex scene late in the show, we apologize for nothing, because sometimes in comedy you need to hurt in order to heal. (Thick ropes, people, THICK ropes!)

Our sponsor this week is Gaetan Guillotines, chopping prices faster than you can chop heads! We open the show this with precious snowflake Tucker Carlson lamenting the failed state of modern comedy and close with Queen’s remonstrance on the importance of placidity.

Stay tuned right after for a new Fulcrum with StePHen Bannon, talking the Paris Accords!

Citations Needed: I heard Trump likes getting head, Could it be SATAN?!?, She seems tense, making this analogy took some set of balls, smooth ones just like they liked it.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

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www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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SHOW NOTES EPISODE #111: “ME AND MISTER JONES”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe uncovers the REAL TRUTH about the greatest secret of the last two decades: Matthew Lesko’s book DID NOT contain secrets to free money from the government! On the show this week we dig for the truth about one Alex Emerick Jones being none other than BILL HICKS! (He, is not)

Along the way we examine the kind of filth that drops behind Jones like turds from a goat’s ass, though far less cute. We discuss the progenitors of Alex in radio, from Father Coughlin to Art Bell and how they influenced their audiences. (Nazis and suicide, sadly not the same people) There are tips for storing your Dead Aliens (You want them in liquid nitrogen for maximum freshness) and the United Nations Space Fleet rectal probing morons across America. (Coming soon to a cow pasture near you!) Finally, we reveal the dark secret that threads through all of human history, the REAL conspiracy no one wants to acknowledge. (Rich people own EVERYTHING!)

Our Sponsor this week is The Association, our business is none of your goddamn business. If you think The Association is a returning sponsor, you are under government mind control. We open the show with some of Alex’s better grunts and close with Billy Paul.

Citations Needed: The TRUTH About America, 50% of Americans are Morons, Hale Bopp Mmm Bopp, Profiles in Insanity, Profiles in Stupidity, Profiles in Douchebaggery, The Only TRUE Conspiracy spoken of today.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers that an erection lasting longer than four hours really IS a medical emergency. (He was very excited by the Special Prosecutor) On the show this week we talk all the things that went wrong for the Donald in his very bad, no good Presidency. (We are going to be here for a while.)

Along the way we learn everything there is to know worth knowing about future President of the United States Mike Pence. (Turn ons: Horseback riding Turn Offs: Women speaking without permission.) We chart where we think the country might be heading when Commander Pence is finally appointed to lead the Republic of Gilead and provide advice on how to profit from flipping your house as a Handmaid education center.

We also dig deep into what it takes to actually impeach the President and how many times such a thing has succeeded. (Very hard and none) We imagine the party we would have when Trump is gone (It’s easy if you try) and how horrible the hangover would be feel when we wake up to Right Reverend Pence as a President. (Boner Killer right there)

Our sponsor for the week is Roger Ailes’ Corpse, the best thing he did for America was die We open the show with the whining sniveling of a pathetic child and close with Social Distortion.

Citations Needed: So it begins, Big if True, Subpoena Pen, Watergate gate, Et Tu Mitch?, I Don’t Like Mike, We Totally Will, Totally Radical Dude!, Nothing to See here, Don’t Fear the Pencer.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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This week Host Dave Bledsoe examines his options visa vie curtailing redundancies in the human resources area, so many people are no longer viable members of the workforce and finds out he can’t fire Gavin because no one else will work for him. On the show this week we talk Trump’s latest downsizing in the form of a smaller work force at the FBI.

Along the way we address the dearth of reliable henchmen in the Transylvanian Market and how hard it is to get a reliable lackey in the DoJ. (Apparently, very!) We also examine the latest trends in how to be a sackless little wimp for the President. (Think Paul Ryan) Then address the very real problem of dead hooker disposal and the added dilemma of the former working person being of substantial girth. (This joke goes on FAR too long.) We also create the single most disgusting analogy this low rated podcast has ever uttered. (For this show, that is saying a LOT!) We close with who is ultimately responsible for saving our democracy. (You probably won’t like the answer)

Our returning sponsor this week is Eddie's’ Excrement Expeditors, we get shit done! We open the show with the Orange Polyp explaining the termination process and close with a Alex Chilton. (We don’t know who that is either.)

Citations Needed: Old man gets angry, Very Angry, Shit Got Serious, Fuck You Mitch, We Are Screwed, Seriously Screwed.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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SHOW NOTES EPISODE #108: WE CAN’T WORK IT OUT

This week Host Dave Bledsoe realized he is an American by birth and Southern by a tragic accident of geography. On the show this week we answer the President’s question, the Civil War, good god, what is it good for? (Hint: The fundamental resolution of the issue of slavery marring our nation since it’s inception.)

Along the way we learn everything there is to know about the Transatlantic Slave Trade that anyone with a 9th Grade education should know, but doesn’t. Along the way we take a deep dive in 18th Century macroeconomics, post Enlightenment political philosophy and why the South’s population failed to recognize fundamental reality. (Hint: It’s racism and religion.) We also examine the rise of the sex trade in the Netherlands, though that’s really more of a vacation planning session.

Our sponsor this week is the Sons of Confederate Veterans, celebrating big fucking losers for over 100 years. We open the show with them durn Dukes Boys and close with definitely not the Beatles.

Citations Needed: Blame Portugal, A Timeline of Evil, Early American Douchebaggery, These numbers don’t add up, The Golden Circle Jerks.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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SHOW NOTES EPISODE #107: “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers a car isn’t really a replacement for a large penis, even if it IS a Mini Cooper. On the show this week we talk about 100 Days of Trumpitude and see if the Turgid Cheeto even TRIED to live up to his campaign promises. (He, did not.)

Along the way we discuss quality control issues in mid-80’s American Muscle Cars, the masturbatory habits of a geriatric Senator from Kentucky and the weather patterns of Summertime Alabama. (Hint: Think your crotch after a long jog) We check in on Trump supporters and see how they’re doing with Donald’s tenure so far. (Conclusion: “We were hoping for a little more racist than what we’ve seen!”) A truly deplorable metaphor is deployed utilizing intestinal distress and finally we get down to business discussing the difference between the long con and the short grift. (Speaking of grifts, donate to our Patreon!)

Our sponsor this week is the Short Grift, you wanna make some money pal? Try the Short Grift! We open the show this week with Michael Caine explaining the world to us and close with Patty Loveless explaining infidelity.

Citations Needed: Lies, Suckers, Evil Fucks, Lazy Fucks, Simple Fucks, Fucking Genius.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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SHOW NOTES EPISODE #106: “You Dropped A Bomb On Me, Baby”

This week, Host Dave Bledsoe explains everything about Korea, so long as everything is related to how to consume Soju in unhealthy amounts. On this show this week we discuss the looming apocalypse on the Korean peninsula, how we got there and what can be done about it. (We suggest sending Kim a box of Little Debbies.)

Along the way there is a lot of unneeded M*A*S*H jokes (isn’t this true about every joke on this show?) various recipes for high alcohol brain busters and why Macarthur should’ve been sacked LONG before he was. (He was very handsy with the Filipinas) We learn how building a nuclear weapon is easy, using one not so much. You will leave this week knowing more about Guam than you came in with, for most of you that means you will learn Guam exists. Finally, we talk about our chances of coming out of this without radioactive mutants in our future. (Hint: Not good.)

Our sponsor this week is Mike the Second Hand Missile Man, when you got something to say really far away, say it with Mike’s Second Hand Missiles. We open the show with the War Room and close with The Gap Band.

Citations Needed: He could just HIRE them, This is Bad, Kin Cider, Maybe we won’t all die but probably will.

Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

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