I'm Skye. And this is What You Took Back. A podcast for women who've spent years surviving on fragments of themselves. I'm here to hand you back the whole damn thing.

Someone tells you, "Honestly, you're just so easy to work with." You smile. You say thank you. Inside, some tiny, exhausted part of you goes, oh no — because you know what that sentence actually means once you translate it. You've never made this person manage your feelings, negotiate with your limits, or wait for you to think about what you actually want. You made yourself frictionless. And frictionless people don't get protected. They get relied on.

This is Part 2 of the July series — Boundaries, People-Pleasing, Guilt, Self-Trust — and this episode goes straight at the mechanism underneath every collapsed boundary from last week: people-pleasing. Not the dictionary version. The real one. It's not about wanting to be liked. It's about a nervous system that decided, a long time ago, that being needed was safer than being known.

In this episode:

Take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up and find out exactly where yours started.

What have you taken back? 🎙️

Picture your family or friend group chat. Someone's asked you to host Christmas again — same as every year — and for the first time, you type the word "no." Then you delete it. You write it again, this time with a paragraph attached: how tired you've been, the kids' schedule, a "maybe next year" so nobody feels rejected.

That's not a boundary. That's a boundary wearing a disguise so it can sneak past everyone's disappointment without anyone noticing.

This is Part 1 of a four-part July series — Boundaries, People-Pleasing, Guilt, Self-Trust — and this episode is about the tell that gives away a fake boundary every time: the length of the explanation. A real boundary is a sentence. The kind most of us were taught to build is a paragraph.

In this episode:

If this one hits close to home, take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up — it'll show you exactly where your energy is leaking before you even get to the boundary conversation.

What have you taken back? 🎙️

Someone decided you were the strong one. Nobody asked your permission. And somewhere along the way, it became the only thing you were allowed to be. This episode is for the woman underneath the strength — the one who has held everyone else together and never once been the person someone rushed to check on. It's time to talk about what that costs.

You became the ceiling that holds everything up.

And ceilings don't get to have bad days. They don't get to sit on the kitchen floor at 10pm and just not be okay for a minute. They don't get to say I'm struggling. Because if the ceiling comes down, everything underneath it does too.

This is the episode for the strong one. The one who nursed people through illness. Who held families together through things that would have broken most people. Who went through her own heartbreak, her own losses, her own falling apart — and handled it, because that's what you do.

And not one person asked if she was okay.

In this episode, I talk about how the strong one role gets assigned without your consent and hardens over time, the quiet, unspoken fear that keeps the people around you from ever asking — if she's broken, what happens to all of us? — the grief that lives underneath the strength, and the permission you were never given but always deserved.

This episode won't give you a five-step strategy. It'll give you something simpler.

The strongest thing you will ever do is let someone in.

🔗 Download the free Power Leak Checklist — start identifying where your energy, confidence and sense of self have been quietly leaking away.

Episode 17 — "She Was Always the Strong One. Nobody Checked on Her."

Everyone decided you were the strong one.

Not because you asked for it. Not because anyone sat down and voted. But because when things fell apart, you stayed steady. When there was a crisis, you handled it. When everyone else needed holding — you held them.

And because you did it so well, so consistently, so quietly — nobody thought to ask if you were okay.

Not because they didn't care.

Because they genuinely couldn't imagine that you needed it.

This episode is about the hidden cost of being the strong one. Not the exhaustion — you know about that already. The deeper cost. The grief of never being the one who got to fall apart. The loneliness of competence. The slow erosion of the woman underneath the role.

And the boundary nobody ever talks about — the one that was set for you without your permission. The boundary around your own vulnerability.

This month we're taking our power back. And this week, that starts with something quieter than a boundary conversation or a hard no.

It starts with the permission to not be strong.

Just for a minute.

Just for today.

In this episode:

Grab the free Power Leak Checklist: whatyoutookback.com/checklist

If nobody has checked on you lately — consider this your check-in. I see you. And you are allowed to put it down.

Episode 15 — "You are not difficult. You are just done."

You were the easy one. The agreeable one. The one who never caused a fuss.

You let things roll off your shoulders. You swallowed the truths that deserved to be said out loud. You kept the peace — even when it meant losing yourself.

And somewhere along the way, you called it strength.

It wasn't strength. It was self-abandonment.

In this episode, we're talking about what happens when you finally stop pretending you're fine. When you stop performing agreeable. When the real version of you — the one with opinions and needs and things she actually thinks — starts showing up.

And why, when that happens, suddenly you become difficult.

This episode is for the woman who has been called too much, high maintenance, or dramatic — when the truth is, she just stopped being convenient.

Because you were never difficult.

You were just done.

In this episode:

Grab the free Power Leak Checklist: whatyoutookback.com/checklist

If this episode made you feel seen — share it with a woman who needs to hear it. She knows who she is.

EPISODE 14: THE BARE MINIMUM IS STILL SOMETHING

Ever had one of those days where simply getting through it felt like an achievement — but you still convinced yourself it wasn't enough?

This episode is for the woman carrying the mental load, juggling everything, showing up for everyone else, and quietly beating herself up for not doing more.

Somewhere along the way, you started believing every day needed to be productive, exceptional, purposeful. You stopped giving yourself credit for surviving hard seasons. You made "just getting through it" something to be ashamed of.

In this episode Skye talks about the pressure you place on yourself, the unrealistic standards you've normalised, and why the bare minimum deserves far more recognition than it gets.

Because sometimes the win is getting out of bed. Sometimes the win is making it through the day. And sometimes the win is simply not giving up.

The bare minimum is still something. And so are you.

If this episode hit close to home, start here:

The free Power Leak Checklist will show you exactly where you've been losing energy, confidence and yourself — in five minutes or less. It's the first honest look most women take at what's actually draining them.

→ Get it free at whatyoutookback.com/checklist

Ready to go deeper?

The Noticing (7-day) and The Awakening (28-day) are built for the woman who is done performing fine and ready to start reclaiming herself.

→ whatyoutookback.com/programs

Follow + subscribe so you don't miss what's coming. This is just the beginning.

Following on from last week’s episode My Sister’s Keeper, this conversation goes deeper into the roles women inherit… and the identities they slowly disappear inside of.

Some women were never taught how to belong to themselves.

In this episode, Skye explores the quiet conditioning many women carry through relationships, motherhood, marriage, family and even friendships. The unspoken agreements to stay manageable, emotionally available and easy to hold onto… even when it comes at the cost of themselves.

Because sometimes the hardest thing to admit is not that someone kept you.

It’s that somewhere along the way, being needed began to feel safer than being free.

Raw, reflective and deeply honest, The Price Of Being Everything To Everyone is a continuation of My Sister’s Keeper — but this one turns inward.

This episode is for the women who:

The Power Receipt Method™ programs are now open.

The Noticing — 7 Days

Explore the programs:

Follow @whatyoutookback on socials.

Join the quiet rebellion.

# My Sister's Keeper: Navigating the Complexities of Caregiving in Childhood

 Explore the emotional journey of childhood caregiving in "My Sister's Keeper".

Understand the impact of early responsibility on personal growth and mental health.

In this deeply personal episode of "What You Took Back", host Skye Underhill opens up about the intricate dynamics of being a caregiver from a young age. For many, especially women, childhood can often demand roles that require them to be the strong, capable ones—often at the expense of their own emotional well-being.

In this podcast, we'll explore the themes presented in Skye's reflections, the challenges faced by caregivers, and what it means to break free from the roles imposed upon us.

## Understanding the Caregiver's Role:

Often, the child who becomes the caregiver does so because of an environment that necessitates it. Skye describes a pivotal moment at the age of eight when she realised her home was not always a safe space. This awareness led her to take on the responsibility of protecting her sister, shaping her identity from an early age.

Skye reflects on the emotional complexities of this role, explaining how it required her to read the atmosphere of her home constantly. This hyper-vigilance, although a survival skill, often came with significant emotional costs. It created a pattern of suppressing her own needs and feelings in favour of managing those around her.

## The Impact of Family Dynamics:

Skye discusses her mother's struggles, highlighting that the parental figure may not always fit into a villain role. Instead, they can be complex individuals battling their own demons. This understanding adds depth to the caregiver's experience, as they navigate their own emotions while supporting others.

The act of absorbing the pain around them often leads caregivers to develop coping mechanisms that may not be healthy in the long run. Skye emphasizes that the behaviors learned in childhood, such as emotional suppression and self-sufficiency, can carry into adulthood, affecting personal relationships and mental health.

## Breaking the Cycle:

## Key Takeaways  

The journey of reclaiming oneself from the shadows of childhood responsibilities is a path worth exploring. If you find yourself resonating with Skye's experiences, perhaps it’s time to consider your own journey and the stories you carry.

Episode 11: I Don’t Need a Holiday, I Need Everyone to Stop Asking Me for Things

This week’s episode is lighter, honest, and probably a little too relatable.

We’re talking about the kind of exhaustion that isn’t fixed by sleep or a weekend away — the mental load, constant accessibility, emotional labour, invisible responsibility, and what happens when being “capable” quietly becomes your entire personality.

From unfinished thoughts and overstimulation to why women fantasise about cabins in the middle of nowhere, this episode explores the difference between needing a holiday and simply needing nobody to need anything from you for five minutes.

Funny, personal, and uncomfortably accurate.

If you’ve ever said “I’m just tired” when what you really meant was “I cannot answer one more question today” — this one’s for you.

Skye Underhill discusses a transformative approach for women seeking lasting change, emphasizing honesty, structure, and accessibility over gimmicks. She shares her methodology rooted in genuine understanding and internal development.

Key Topics:

Sound Bites:

women's empowerment, lasting change, personal development, honest methodology, accessible strategies