Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2303792/open_sms">Send a text</a>Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at <a href='https://laurajurgens.com/libido'>https://laurajurgens.com/libido </a> Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: <a href='https://laurajurgens.com/'>https://laurajurgens.com</a>/ Copyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.

Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does. Send a text Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: https://laurajurgens.com/ Copyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.

Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it.&nbsp;And it wouldn't work anyway.&nbsp;I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does.&nbsp;<a href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2303792/open_sms" rel="noopener noreferrer">Send a text</a>Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at <a href="https://laurajurgens.com/libido" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://laurajurgens.com/libido </a> Find out more about my offerings and read the blog: <a href="https://laurajurgens.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">https://laurajurgens.com</a>/ Copyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.

What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos

Libido mismatch — when one partner wants more sex and the other doesn't — is one of the most painful and least understood problems in long-term relationships. And most of the advice out there makes desire gaps worse. Dr. Laura Jurgens is a multi-certified intimacy coach, desire and arousal specialist, and former research professor who specializes in exactly this. Every episode delivers the practical, body-based tools that generic relationship advice and most couples therapy miss entirely — because desire discrepancies aren't fixed by talking more. They're fixed by working with your nervous system, your body, and the specific patterns keeping you both stuck.&nbsp; And what no one tells you is that both people have the power to make real change, because both people contribute to the dynamic.&nbsp; No one is at fault — and that thinking is exactly what keeps couples stuck.&nbsp; If you're the higher-desire partner feeling rejected, lonely, or like something is wrong with you for having needs — you're not powerless, but pressuring doesn't help. If you're the lower-desire partner feeling pressured, guilty, or shut down — you're not broken or wrong either, and obligation sex is making it worse. You're both missing the same thing: a real roadmap for this specific problem. This show covers: low libido and what actually helps · the pursue-withdraw cycle · somatic and nervous system approaches to intimacy · how to talk about sex without fighting · midlife and perimenopause changes · why therapy often fails for desire discrepancy · sexual shame and body disconnection · how ADHD affects desire in relationships · how one partner changing shifts the whole relationship. Whether you've tried couples therapy, scheduled sex, or every book on the subject and you're still stuck — this is the podcast that goes where those solutions don't. New episodes weekly. Start wherever you are. Ready to solve this? Visit laurajurgens.com/bridge.Free resources at laurajurgens.com/libido.

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Libido mismatch — when one partner wants more sex and the other doesn't — is one of the most painful and least understood problems in long-term relationships. And most of the advice out there makes desire gaps worse. Dr. Laura Jurgens is a multi-certified intimacy coach, desire and arousal specialist, and former research professor who specializes in exactly this. Every episode delivers the practical, body-based tools that generic relationship advice and most couples therapy miss entirely — because desire discrepancies aren't fixed by talking more. They're fixed by working with your nervous system, your body, and the specific patterns keeping you both stuck.  And what no one tells you is that both people have the power to make real change, because both people contribute to the dynamic.  No one is at fault — and that thinking is exactly what keeps couples stuck.  If you're the higher-desire partner feeling rejected, lonely, or like something is wrong with you for having needs — you're not powerless, but pressuring doesn't help. If you're the lower-desire partner feeling pressured, guilty, or shut down — you're not broken or wrong either, and obligation sex is making it worse. You're both missing the same thing: a real roadmap for this specific problem. This show covers: low libido and what actually helps · the pursue-withdraw cycle · somatic and nervous system approaches to intimacy · how to talk about sex without fighting · midlife and perimenopause changes · why therapy often fails for desire discrepancy · sexual shame and body disconnection · how ADHD affects desire in relationships · how one partner changing shifts the whole relationship. Whether you've tried couples therapy, scheduled sex, or every book on the subject and you're still stuck — this is the podcast that goes where those solutions don't. New episodes weekly. Start wherever you are. Ready to solve this? Visit laurajurgens.com/bridge. Free resources at laurajurgens.com/libido.

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What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos

What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos

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