What's Fear Got to Do With It | Fear, Growth & the Mind

In this conversation, Kim Hey shares her intimate journey through a diagnosis that forced her to confront not just her mortality, but her identity. When calcifications were discovered in both breasts, Kim faced a pivotal choice: a double mastectomy to prevent breast cancer.

But this isn't just a story about loss. It's a story about what happens when you refuse to let fear paralyse you. As a nurse, Kim understood the medical reality. As a woman, she wrestled with fears about her body image, her sexuality, and the self-identity she'd built through twelve years of pole dancing. Yet instead of retreating, Kim transformed her fear into action, turning to humour as a survival tool.

Through booby parties, ceremonial bra burnings, and dancing with surgical drains attached, Kim discovered something profound: strength and vulnerability aren't opposites. They're dance partners. Kim's journey reminds us that our story doesn't end with bad news. It's just entering a different chapter.

About Our Guest

Kim Hey is 55 and a sister, mum, nurse, wife, and soon-to-be personal trainer, with a passion for pole fitness, body movement, and body positivity. She is committed to making fitness fun, empowering, and accessible, even after major surgery.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e9

00:00 A Life-Changing Diagnosis

02:48 Navigating Fear and Body Image

05:10 Finding Humor and Support

07:48 Embracing Change and Self-Discovery

09:43 Reclaiming Identity Through Movement

12:27 Community and Connection

14:35 Post-Surgery Acceptance and Growth

17:02 The Journey of Self-Love and Healing

22:46 Emotional Journey Through Writing

24:18 Navigating Multiple Journeys

25:44 Discovering Strength Post-Surgery

27:36 Emotional Growth and Self-Awareness

29:53 Grief and Acceptance

31:43 Finding New Identity

33:39 Words of Wisdom for Pre-Op Self

36:31 Gifts of the Experience

38:43 It's A Wrap

In this conversation, John Hendry OAM reveals his journey from a stammering child to a decorated educator who spent decades teaching others about forgiveness, relationships and hope.

From his earliest days at school, John discovered that the people who looked beyond his challenges changed everything. But the moment that became the blueprint for his entire life came through tragedy. On his seventeenth birthday, after tragically losing his younger brother, John witnessed his father choose forgiveness in the darkest moment imaginable. That choice shaped everything that followed.

Built on one principle, forgiveness is not weakness, it's the most enabling tool we possess. John shares how he learned to navigate life non-adversarially, speak to himself with compassion, and build quality relationships as the foundation of resilience.

Explore how one man's commitment to forgiveness rippled outward to transform generations.

About Our Guest

John Hendry OAM, has taught in schools for over 50 years. He is a Life Member of Career Development Association of Australia and consultant to UNESCO in Bullying and School Violence. An ongoing “advisor” to Parents Victoria since 2017 and Active Education Australia.  Formerly the Director of Student Welfare at Geelong Grammar School, John is a man of many talents and has received an OAM (Education) and an OAM (Cricket).

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e8

00:00 Overcoming Stammering: A Journey Begins

02:32 The Role of Relationships in Managing Fear

06:29 The Impact of School on Self-Perception

08:12 Finding Self-Worth Through Sports

10:55 The Importance of Hope and Trust in Education

13:35 Forgiveness: A Key to Resilience

17:41 Navigating Forgiveness and Relationships

19:13 The Power of Non-Adversarial Relationships

23:40 Understanding Inhibiting Factors in Performance

28:04 The Role of Forgiveness in Personal Growth

32:38 Managing Fear and Emotional Responses

40:29 It's A Wrap

In this conversation, Sue Carr takes us back to a suburban dinner table in the 1970s, where a 17-year-old girl sat silently carrying a secret she had kept to herself for three months. Pregnant, terrified and frozen by fear, Sue describes waiting, hoping each day might somehow be different, until her mother asked one quiet question that changed everything.

Sue shares how the unconditional love of her parents became the foundation for a life she never planned but built with quiet courage and determination. A life of marriage, five children, a return to study at 39, and a career as a primary school principal.

This is a conversation about what happens when fear meets love, and love wins. About the power of sharing your burden. About showing up anyway. And about why it is never too late to take the next step.

About Our Guest

Principal, coach and author Sue Carr redefines strength, arguing that maintaining a “strong” facade often leads to burnout, isolation, and a neglect of one’s own needs. Her work advocates for a shift toward self-leadership, encouraging individuals to set firm boundaries and actively reclaim their energy and purpose.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e7

00:00 Facing Fear: A Life-Changing Moment

04:26 The Power of Sharing Burdens

08:18 Self-Perception and Growth

12:08 Building Confidence and Resilience

16:07 Daily Rituals for Empowerment

20:02 Navigating Life's Challenges

20:51 Navigating Early Parenthood

25:46 Building Confidence Through Support

29:32 Embracing Opportunities for Growth

32:48 Defining Success and Personal Growth

37:02 The Greatest Gifts of Life

39:27 Key Takeaways for Life's Journey

40:50 It's A Wrap

When Justin Robinson's 11-year-old son Sam was diagnosed with bone cancer in 2012, Sam spent 250 nights in hospital and the family faced a constantly unpredictable path forward. Despite being planners who valued control, Justin learned three pieces of wisdom that became lifelines: "Don't plan," "Don't Google," and always say yes when people offer help.

Through vulnerability and honesty, Justin reveals how fear was distributed across many shoulders and how accepting support held their entire family. This is a story about discovering that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is simply say yes to the help that surrounds us.

About Our Guest

Justin Robinson is the co-founder of The Wellbeing Distillery, which supports hundreds of schools across Australia and internationally to embed wellbeing into education. The former founding Director of the Institute of Positive Education at Geelong Grammar School and author of My Manifesto, he is recognised for his warmth, deep listening, and practical wisdom in helping individuals and communities to thrive. Justin is an Honorary Fellow at the University of Melbourne and a leading voice in the global positive education movement.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e6

00:00 Introduction and Early Life Influences

00:38 The Health Challenge of Sam

03:29 Navigating the Diagnosis and Initial Reactions

07:00 Coping Mechanisms and Support Systems

10:17 Lessons Learned from the Journey

14:06 Reflections on Fear and Gratitude

15:54 The Positive Outcomes and Future Aspirations

18:42 The Unexpected Connection

21:05 Navigating Fear and Community Support

24:12 The Role of Communication in Healing

29:27 Embracing Emotions and Vulnerability

33:16 Resilience Through Challenges

38:15 The Gifts of Adversity

39:47 Practical Tips for Coping

42:06 It's A Wrap

In this conversation, Georgina Banks shares her journey of writing a book to honour her great aunt Bud, an Australian army nurse killed in the Bangka Island Massacre during World War II. What began as an act of remembrance became far more challenging when Georgina discovered the full truth had been suppressed for decades.

Georgina reveals how she navigated intergenerational silence that had shaped her family for generations, carrying grief frozen since 1942. Despite never having written a book before, she felt compelled to speak up, ensuring these women's story was finally told with honesty and dignity.

This isn't just about uncovering historical truth. It's about finding courage to speak when silence feels safer, and discovering that the opposite of fear isn't bravery, it's passion for justice.

About Our Guest

Georgina Banks is a writer, facilitator, and occasional performer, with an interest in what makes people tick and social justice issues. With backgrounds in performance and applied psychology she splits her time between her consulting business, ‘Changeable’, and her writing projects.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e5

00:00 Unveiling Family Secrets: The Journey Begins

02:39 Confronting the Past: The Impact of War Crimes

05:11 Intergenerational Grief: A Family's Silent Struggle

10:16 The Weight of Silence: Navigating Family Dynamics

15:04 The Power of Storytelling: Writing as Healing

19:31 Finding Peace: The Response of Family

24:27 Passion for Justice: The Heart of the Narrative

25:42 Navigating Vulnerability and Criticism

29:34 The Drive for Justice and Storytelling

31:08 The Gift of Writing and Family Healing

34:49 Personal Growth Through Adversity

41:06 Lessons Learned and Messages for the Future

47:43 It's A Wrap

Louise Bedford shares her journey from a rebellious teenager to a thriving share market trader. When illness stripped away her corporate identity, she discovered her real worth. She opens up about her darkest moment, sitting alone during COVID lockdowns, unable to speak, questioning whether to keep going.

In the silence, Louise learned that choosing life isn't always about grand epiphanies. It's about remembering your purpose and understanding that you have agency over who you become, even when everything feels impossible. An open conversation about resilience that doesn't sugarcoat the mess, and a reminder that we are far more capable than our circumstances suggest.

Content Warning: This episode includes discussions about suicide. Please prioritise your wellbeing as you listen, and reach out to a mental health professional or a local helpline for any additional support. (Australia: Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyondblue: 1300 224 636.)

About Our Guest

Louise Bedford is a behavioural finance expert, professional trader, and Australia’s most prolific female author on the sharemarket. She’s written six bestselling books, founded the popular site Trading Game, and hosts the Talking Trading podcast.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e4

00:00 The Moment of Change

03:51 Childhood Influences and Money Scripts

06:42 Lessons from Family Dynamics

09:31 The Impact of Health Challenges

12:29 Finding Identity Through Trading

15:35 The Power of Persistence

18:16 Mindfulness and Future Planning

29:16 Listening to Our Inner Voice

29:49 Personal Snap Points and Turning Points

31:33 The Journey of Recovery and Resilience

34:40 Finding Purpose Amidst Adversity

40:16 Aligning Values with Purpose

43:39 The Connection Between Intuition and Action

45:57 Choosing Life and Embracing Change

50:08 Advice for the Younger Self

50:23 Top Tips for Overcoming Fear

53:58 It's A Wrap

When Deanna Cooney's marriage ended, she walked away with $50,000 in debt, zero financial literacy, and two young children relying on her. Her nervous system in complete disarray, she spent two years terrified.

Through vulnerability and honesty, Deanna shares how she learned to sit with her fear instead of avoiding it. She picked up 'The Barefoot Investor' and built practical financial skills. As her competence grew and her confidence followed, she added breathing techniques and nervous system regulation tools to feel safe. Together, these tools, along with reaching out for support, helped her rewrite inherited money stories and step into her own fierce capability and self-sovereignty.

Deanna's story reminds us we have the capability within us to navigate life's messiest challenges, but we don't have to do it alone. Small, consistent steps become the pathway to lasting growth.

About Our Guest

Deanna Cooney helps smart, capable leaders and high performers find their voice when the pressure is on. With 30 years as a professional performer and over a decade of teaching and coaching, she understands fear from the inside out. Her body-first approach builds nervous system capacity alongside practical speaking skill – going well beyond surface-level confidence. Working across corporate, creative, and leadership environments, Deanna translates performance tools from stage and screen into real-world communication that holds up when it counts.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e3

00:00 The Moment That Changed Everything

01:39 Facing Financial Illiteracy

06:08 The Fear of Loss and Judgment

10:29 Rewriting Money Stories

14:34 Finding Internal Strength

17:33 The Importance of Support

20:58 Breaking Free from the Feedback Loop

25:44 The Role of Support in Shifting Beliefs

29:11 Creating Internal Safety for Growth

33:58 Managing the Nervous System for Change

37:49 Building a Future Self through Safety

42:29 Lessons from Fear and Self-Trust

45:48 It's A Wrap

Kerry Milligan opens up about one of life's most difficult decisions: placing her aging mother Emmie in residential care. After seven and a half years of caring for her mother at home, dementia forced an impossible choice that triggered massive guilt and forced her to confront lifelong patterns of self-sacrifice.

Kerry explores the tension between her rational brain, which knew care was necessary, and her emotional brain, which screamed betrayal. Through support from Violet, a carer advocacy organisation, she discovered that asking for help wasn't weakness. It was the only way to truly care for her mother without completely sacrificing herself.

Along the way, Kerry shares how this experience connects to her broader journey of standing in her own power. This is a story about learning you cannot pour from an empty cup, that guilt and love can coexist, and sometimes the bravest thing you can do is admit you need help. Kerry's journey offers honest wisdom for anyone navigating caregiving, family dynamics, or the weight of trying to do it all alone.

About Our Guest

Kerry Milligan appeared for 10 years on the award-winning TV show Gogglebox alongside her mother Emmie and daughter Isabelle. Together, the three generations wrote a bestselling memoir, "Out of the Box," exploring important issues in women's lives through three distinct generational perspectives. When Emmie was diagnosed with dementia after seven years of living with Kerry, the family navigated the difficult transition to aged care. Emmie passed away in July 2025 at age 96.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e2

00:00 A Life-Changing Moment

02:49 Navigating Care Decisions

05:35 The Emotional Burden of Guilt

07:55 Finding Support and Resources

10:29 The Struggle with Guilt and Self-Advocacy

12:45 Understanding Aged Care Choices

15:14 The Journey of Letting Go

17:43 Balancing Care and Self-Care

19:53 The Long Goodbye and Grief Process

22:16 Navigating Aged Care Decisions

25:50 Life After Loss: Finding Joy and Community

27:39 Coping with Grief and Seeking Support

30:25 The Burden of Caregiving: Women's Experiences

34:01 Empowerment Through Education and Independence

37:21 Reclaiming Power and Identity

41:25 Lessons Learned: Advice for Future Generations

42:59 It's A Wrap

Alan Furlong shares his journey from high-achieving executive and entrepreneur to discovering authentic purpose. Throughout his successful career, including building and leading the team that scaled a business to £42 million in revenue, he admits he found himself living in shades of grey, successful on paper, but silently disconnected from what truly mattered. When burnout forced him to stop, hospitalised with what seemed like a heart attack, Alan began a journey of deep questioning and reflection. He reveals how his relentless drive for success masked deeper childhood trauma and also left him feeling hollow. Through vulnerability and courage, Alan shares how he learned to trust himself and walk away from everything. He now helps people with barriers to education and employment to build their own remarkable lives and describes his transformation simply: "Life is colourful." A story about recognising when grey is asking for your attention and discovering that letting go is the first act of courage that can transform your life.

About Our Guest

Alan Furlong is a successful former entrepreneur and executive who built and mentored multiple start-ups, and used his hard-won commercial expertise to help scale one business to £42 million in three years. Yet despite this extraordinary achievement, he realised he was living someone else's idea of a successful life. After stepping away from it all to wrestle with the deeper question "What is the point of me being here?" Alan now dedicates himself to teaching and helping people live more meaningful, impactful, and healthier lives.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s2e1

00:00 Facing Life's Challenges: A Personal Journey

04:20 The Turning Point: Embracing Change and Surrender

14:09 The Messy Middle: Navigating Uncertainty and Growth

19:45 Spiritual Awakening: Trusting the Process

22:53 The Journey of Surrender and Spiritual Growth

24:28 Navigating Career Transitions and Personal Insights

27:12 Understanding Fear and Embracing Change

30:00 Finding Color in Life: From Gray to Vibrant

31:30 The Power of Physical Challenges and Self-Discovery

36:13 Lessons from Pain and Growth

38:08 Advice to My Younger Self: Faith and Courage

39:34 The Gift of Peace Through Life's Journey

40:41 Top Tips for Embracing Your Calling

42:29 It's A Wrap

In this special season finale episode, we pause together as co-hosts to reflect on Season 1's remarkable journey through challenge, fear, and growth. We share our personal takeaways from eleven powerful conversations, exploring how each guest's story revealed unexpected gifts within life's challenges. From creating "3am friends" to embracing vulnerability, we discuss how these conversations have changed our own lives while sharing our excitement about Season 2's inspiring stories launching January 28th, 2026.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e12

00:00 Season One Wrap-Up and Reflections

01:33 Key Takeaways from Guests

03:46 The Importance of Vulnerability and Support

05:35 Looking Ahead to Season Two

07:37 Diversity of Stories and Guest Experiences

09:26 Listener Engagement and Feedback