What's Fear Got to Do With It | Fear, Growth & the Mind

What happens when shared learning challenges become an unexpected gift? In this powerful conversation, father and daughter Michael Grinder and Krista Grinder-Dettloff reveal how their early struggles with reading sparked a transformative journey. As a teacher who had taught himself to read after high school, Michael understood his daughter's challenges uniquely. Together, they discovered that different minds process information differently. Now an internationally recognised pioneer in nonverbal communication, Michael, alongside Krista who became a reading specialist, shares insights about fear, self-acceptance, and learning differences. Their story demonstrates how embracing our unique ways of understanding the world can unlock extraordinary potential in ourselves and others.

About Our Guests

Michael Grinder, internationally recognised pioneer of nonverbal communication and founder of Michael Grinder and Associates, has trained thousands of executives and educators worldwide. With over 40 years of experience, he helps people assess others more accurately and connect more deeply through his expertise in translating nonverbal communication into practical leadership strategies.

Krista Grinder-Dettloff, CEO of Michael Grinder and Associates, brings over 30 years of educational expertise spanning from preschool through college level as a specialist and classroom teacher. Known for her insight, warmth, and practical application, she transforms complex concepts into accessible strategies that help others discover their unique potential.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e11

00:00 Intro Michael Grinder & Krista Grinder-Dettloff

09:04 Understanding Learning Styles and Their Impact

17:55 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

25:56 Building Self-Love and Overcoming Fear

31:53 The Power of Poetry and Self-Reflection

34:48 Understanding Nonverbal Communication

40:22 The Role of Nonverbal Cues in Relationships

45:27 Impact of COVID-19 on Communication

47:35 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

52:33 Lessons from Childhood and Personal Growth

01:02:17 It's A Wrap

What happens when your world crumbles to the point where you can't afford a ham sandwich? Martin Mileham shares his compelling journey from unstoppable success to standing at an ATM with just $2.40 to his name. When the Asian currency crisis hit, Martin lost everything society told him equalled success, but in this loss, he discovered an unexpected gift.

With remarkable honesty, Martin reveals how his "ham sandwich moment" became his greatest teacher, eventually leading him from Perth to Dubai, where he rose from site inspector to Vice President overseeing iconic projects like the Burj Khalifa. His story challenges our assumptions about success and security, while offering powerful insights about resilience and the courage to begin again.

About Our Guest

Martin Mileham has an Architecture degree and over 40 years of experience as a registered Architect.  He has worked internationally on everything from delivering enormous palm-shaped islands in the Arabian Gulf, to being responsible for the tallest building in the world, through to designing one-off street furniture.   He has been the CEO of the City of Perth, the capital of Western Australia and has lived in London, Dubai, Muscat and Melbourne.  Martin and his wife now reside back home in Perth where Martin continues to consult in construction and development.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e10

00:00 Martin Mileham Intro

04:18 Lessons from Financial Struggles: Pride and Reality

08:28 Reassessing Values: What Truly Matters

12:41 The Journey to Dubai: Luck and Opportunity

20:53 Personal Growth: Flexibility and Life Lessons

22:15 Navigating Failure and Courage

25:34 The Liberating Experience of Disconnection

30:15 Embracing Change and the Concept of Luck

35:03 The Role of Fear in Motivation

39:44 Lessons from the Ham Sandwich Moment

43:01 It's A Wrap

International speaker Amanda Gore reveals how teaching others about joy led to an unexpected discovery: she had forgotten how to live it herself. When the pandemic halted her global speaking career, she was forced to confront the disconnect between teaching joy and experiencing it. Through exploring three life-changing events, including a courageous move overseas at 68, Amanda shares how childhood fears shaped her life choices and how slowing down revealed wisdom she didn't know she needed. This powerful conversation shows us that transformation often begins not when we master our fears, but when we pause long enough to listen to them.

About Our Guest

Amanda Gore is a Hall of Fame motivational speaker who is redefining leadership, communication and wellness in the Age of Change and Uncertainty. The antidote to burnout is joy!

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e9

00:00 Amanda Gore Intro

04:30 Self-Discovery Through Crisis

09:35 Authenticity and Personal Growth

14:28 Navigating Emotions and Fear

19:44 The Power of Connection and Love

27:20 Creating Safe Spaces for Connection

28:15 Evolving Audience Feedback and Connection

29:11 Facilitating Change and Self-Discovery

31:10 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Authenticity

34:06 Growth Through Crisis and Life Events

36:33 Understanding Core Fears and Self-Love

39:50 Questioning Belief Systems and Self-Reflection

43:25 Messages to Our Younger Selves

45:04 Seeing Challenges as Opportunities

48:10 Practical Tips for Managing Stress and Anxiety

51:31 It's A Wrap

In this conversation, Nick Tsakiris shares his journey of discovering a different approach to life when the pandemic disrupted his hospitality career. Already questioning the sustainability of late nights and demanding schedules, he found himself facing an unexpected opportunity to reimagine success. Through reflection, Nick reveals how shifting from asking "What do I want to be?" to "How do I want to live?" transformed his perspective on daily joy and fulfilment.

Drawing inspiration from Greek village life and even his dogs' enthusiasm for simple pleasures, Nick shares how he learned to create a life that feels like a holiday rather than waiting for retirement to truly live. His transition from hospitality to cybersecurity isn't just about career change, it's about choosing to prioritise present-moment happiness over future achievements. Nick's experience reminds us that when we dare to question how we want to live, rather than what we want to be , we open ourselves to a more authentic and joy-filled life.

About Our Guest

Nick discusses the challenge that lockdown posed whilst working in hospitality and the fear associated with a lack of direction in life. On reflection, the extreme uncertainty propelled an embrace for change and a philosophical approach to life centred around lifestyle and maximising joy.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e8

00:00 Nick Tsakiris Intro

03:23 The Struggles of Hospitality: Late Nights and Personal Sacrifice

07:31 Finding Direction: The Search for Meaning Beyond Hospitality

11:45 Existential Questions: How Do I Want to Live?

15:02 Maximizing Happiness: Living in the Moment

19:25 Reflecting on Life Choices

24:37 Redefining Success

27:45 Navigating Career Changes

31:37 Embracing Change and Happiness

36:18 It's A Wrap

In this conversation, Emma McLarty shares her personal journey through a perfect storm: when menopause, her children moving out, and supporting her aging parents all converged. Despite careful planning for this life transition, she found herself blindsided by the physical, emotional, and psychological challenges that arrived unexpectedly. Through vulnerability and honesty, Emma reveals how her drive for perfectionism became unsustainable. Trying to appear "fine" only deepened her overwhelm until exhaustion forced her to drop the mask, leading to a profound revelation: letting go of perfect wasn't failure, it was the pathway forward.

Emma shares how she learned to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of avoiding them, finding strength in reaching out to others who understood her journey. This isn't just a story about midlife and menopause. Emma's story reminds us that we have the wisdom within to navigate life's messy transitions, but we don't have to do it alone.

About Our Guest

Emma McLarty is a counsellor and women’s wellbeing practitioner who helps people navigate life’s big transitions with confidence and ease. Drawing on her own experiences and a love of meaningful conversation, she guides women toward clarity, growth, and what’s possible in their next chapter.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e7

00:00 Intro Emma McLarty

02:50 The Impact of Motherhood on Identity

04:56 Spiritual Practices and Self-Compassion

07:28 Understanding Grief and Loss

09:28 Finding Support and Mentorship

12:12 Societal Expectations and Personal Journeys

14:37 Trusting Yourself Through Change

17:15 Lessons Learned from the Journey

19:50 Embracing the Messiness of Life

23:00 The Gift of Self-Discovery

25:20 Advice for Women Facing Midlife Challenges

36:19 It's A Wrap

In this episode, Jill Currie shares what happened when her child Luna (they/them), who is autistic, told her they thought they had Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). "No you don't," was Jill's initial response. Fear of judgement led her down a path of denial that hurt them both. When Luna's distress reached a breaking point, Jill confronted a powerful truth: no-one was coming to save them. The only thing she could change was herself. Through genuine vulnerability, Jill discovered that the parts of Luna she struggled to accept mirrored the parts of herself she'd been rejecting. Her journey took an unexpected turn when she received her own autism diagnosis, giving her the self-compassion needed to truly show up for Luna. Jill's story powerfully reveals that self-compassion can become the bridge to compassion for others, and sometimes the most courageous decision is changing ourselves instead of trying to change others.

About Our Guest

Jill Currie is an author, coach and consultant whose work empowers parents and transforms child-serving systems. Jill’s writing can be found everywhere from literary journals to reports to the (U.S.) President and Congress. She’s currently working on a debut memoir about her own journey parenting a young adult with complex needs. 

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e6

00:00 Jill Currie Intro

03:04 Navigating Denial and Acceptance

05:37 The Impact of Separation

08:09 Finding New Perspectives

10:42 The Journey of Self-Discovery

13:18 Building Connections with Alters

15:43 The Role of Community and Support

18:16 Transformative Conversations

20:18 Embracing Neurodiversity

23:12 The Power of Self-Compassion

24:34 Lessons Learned and Moving Forward

27:18 The Gift of Creativity

29:50 Final Thoughts and Advice

39:16 Its A Wrap

In this episode, Katie Rose shares her journey through anxiety, serious health conditions, and the life-changing moment when she finally said "I'm not okay." Living as ‘an actor in a play,’ she pursued others' dreams while hiding both physical and emotional pain to avoid disappointing people. When thoughts of ending her suffering became overwhelming, Katie courageously told her family, a confession that saved her life. She discovered our assumptions about others' reactions are often untrue. Katie's story powerfully redefines strength: sometimes the bravest act is stopping, honoring your inner voice, and telling others you're not OK.

Content Warning: This episode includes discussions about suicide. Please prioritise your wellbeing as you listen, and reach out to a mental health professional or a local helpline for any additional support. (Australia: Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyondblue: 1300 224 636.)

About Our Guest

Katie has been a teacher for 16 years, with 6 years in leadership focused on mental health, wellbeing, and engagement. Passionate about helping young people understand emotions and brain science, Katie works closely with students experiencing anxiety. She has also launched a business offering small group sessions to teach coping strategies for anxiety and meditation to children.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e5

00:00 Katie Rose Intro

00:29 Trigger Warning 

01:12 Being just OK in the world

03:26 Unpacking the Breakdown

05:39 Physical and Emotional Signs

08:08 The Role of Permission

10:31 The Journey to Self-Discovery

13:08 The Breaking Point

15:42 Crisis and Realisation

18:13 Seeking Help

20:46 The Path to Recovery

28:37 Facing the Unknown: A Journey into Mental Health

30:30 The Power of Connection: Reaching Out for Help

33:23 Breaking the Silence: The Importance of Vulnerability

35:53 Permission to Change: Embracing Personal Growth

38:38 Messages to My Younger Self: Understanding Emotions

41:32 Listening to Intuition: Distinguishing Fear from True Desire

46:52 Gratitude and Spirituality: Finding Meaning in Adversity

56:37 It's A Wrap

In this episode, David Gregory, OAM, reveals how accepting fear as a daily companion shaped his extraordinary journey of service. From leaving home at fourteen to becoming a CEO and receiving an Order of Australia Medal, his philosophy of "if you can't beat fear, do it scared" has guided him through near bankruptcy to speaking at the United Nations. Ultimately, his journey reminds us that courage isn't about being fearless,  it's about letting our purpose become bigger than our fears.

About Our Guest

David Gregory, OAM, is the Executive Producer of "Just a Farmer" and Director of Live Rural. A member of Beyond Blue's NASBO Steering Committee, he has been recognized with the SME Global Leader award at the UN (United Nations). David serves as an Expert Judge for Awards Australia:  Community Awards and is a member of Screen Producers Australia. He is the former CEO of Small Business Mentoring Service (SBMS).

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e4

00:00 David Gregory, OAM Intro

02:47 Imposter Syndrome: The Silent Struggle

05:28 Coping Mechanisms: Running Towards Fear

07:50 Achievements and Imposter Syndrome: A Complex Relationship

10:07 The Weight of Recognition: Living Up to Expectations

12:55 The Role of Responsibility: OAM and Community Engagement

14:56 Navigating New Challenges: The Film Journey

17:27 Reflections on Early Life: The Impact of Leaving Home

22:30 Formative Experiences and Life Choices

24:56 The Role of Leadership in Making a Difference

27:21 Navigating Fear and Control in Leadership

32:37 The Burden of Control and Emotional Challenges

38:10 Facing Loneliness and Mental Health Awareness

42:44 Lessons from Life: Messages to My Younger Self

44:45 It's a Wrap

In this episode, Hollie Andrew shares her courageous journey from accomplished actor to entrepreneur, revealing what happens when achieving all career goals leaves you searching for deeper purpose. After meeting every milestone she'd set as a young person, Hollie made the bold decision to walk away from acting success and create a not-for-profit charity supporting actors with disabilities. She speaks openly about the financial anxiety and shame she feels about experiencing fear, and how she's redefined success from external validation to authentic alignment with purpose.

About Our Guest

After 20 successful years across all professional platforms of the arts Industry, Hollie discovered that her unique skill set placed her in the perfect position to be able to affect real change on a path that she would never have predicted. Now, as the Operational Director of Abundabiliteez Productions, she couldn’t be happier in the challenges, wins, hardships, obstacles, successes, and service that she is living and is ahead for her and her artists.

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e3

00:00 Hollie Andrew Intro

02:45 Navigating Fear and Financial Pressure

05:01 Defining Success Beyond Financial Gain

07:30 The Importance of Patience and Faith

10:04 Lessons from Vulnerability and Struggle

12:15 The Intersection of Fear and Success

25:50 Defining Success: A Personal Journey

29:15 The Evolution of Purpose

32:04 Finding Joy in Authenticity

37:43 Navigating Fear and Anxiety

42:42 The Power of Vulnerability

48:20 Messages to My Younger Self

51:54 It's a wrap

In this episode, Olympian Sarah Straton shares what it was like to achieve one of the highest honours in sport, only to realise it didn’t quiet the inner voice telling her she wasn’t enough. Sarah speaks openly about the emotional cost of chasing perfection, the identity struggles beneath the surface, and the inner work it took to finally feel at peace beyond performance.

About our guest

Sarah Straton is an Olympic beach volleyball player who struggled with perfectionism and tying her self-worth to her achievements. After retiring from professional sport, she found purpose in helping others navigate similar challenges. Sarah works with families, sporting organisations, and corporations to facilitate wellbeing and performance.  

Read the full show notes on our Substack: https://whatsfear.substack.com/p/s1e2 

00:00 Sarah Straton Intro

00:30 The Burden of Perfectionism

02:37 Awareness and Acceptance

05:22 The Journey to Self-Discovery

07:34 Reflections on Olympic Experience

09:51 The Impact of Upbringing

12:32 Embracing Imperfection

14:51 The Role of Self-Compassion

17:07 Navigating Perfectionism Today

23:54 The Cost of Action vs. Inaction

26:06 Motivation Beyond Fear

28:10 Facing Fear and Expanding Comfort Zones

30:52 Reframing Fear as Excitement

34:00 From Avoidance to Embracing Opportunities

36:11 The Gift of Self-Awareness

41:08 Messages to Our Younger Selves

42:49 Top Tips for Self-Discovery and Growth

46:00 Its a wrap