Ever run into the phrase Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur (“Whatever is said in Latin seems profound”)? Well, most of the states in the American union took that sentiment to heart when they came up with their personal mottoes (institutions and tattoo-getters too). After a brief detour through the pitfalls of collegiate apophthegms and bare midriff-commenting, Dave and Jeff rip and riff through all the mottos of the lower 48 (and those other two). Little mercy is shown as they decide who’s on point, who just phoned it in, and why Michigan’s is (proh dolor) the worst one of all. Even so, si quaeritis amoenas nugas, audite!