When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

King Rollo was a cartoon about a child-like ruler who probably shouldn't have been in charge of his own shoelaces never mind an entire country. Insert your own Trump joke here. I can't be bothered.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

First of the Winter Vodka vs Gary and Gavin's Great Race

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Theme Music: 8-bit-Arcade4 www.dl-sounds.com

Yes, I've spelt it correctly. Boring cartoon monsters sing and tell jokes in the worst thing we've ever watched. Stop Googling to see if I've spelt it correctly, that is how you spell Goolies in this instance. I know it feels like it should be "Ghoulies," but I've already checked, and we both sat through it so I know it's right.

You're checking aren't you?

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

More quiz fun as we watch Henry Kelly have a slow motion breakdown, constantly asking the contestants "who am I?"

Especially mean-spirited, considering a lot of the contestants don't speak English as their first language.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

If you think you enjoyed Willy Fog as a kid, you are either;

a) deluded b) lying c) now working as a geography teacher

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

*whistle whistle whistle whistle*

*blubble-lubble-lubble*

impenetrable nonsense from knitted space wombles who live on the moon.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

How big is a Womble? What is a Womble? Why is "Womble" a noun and a verb? What does wombling entail? Have I ever wombled? Am I wombling right now?

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Ron Pickering ("who?") hosts the boring primary school sports day that was We Are The Champions.

Are England out of the World Cup yet? Can we stop doing sport-related things now?

Ugh.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

We've got World Cup fever, in that football makes both Mark and Martyn feel physically unwell. So to celebrate England probably not being out of the World Cup quite yet, I don't know, I haven't checked, why not sit down with us to watch the adventures of an animated football team as they football about all over the place and score goals and stuff.

"Offside." That's another football thing.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

This week, Mark and Martyn watch four people who are superior to them in every conceivable way, and make fun of them in various cruel and undeserved ways. Can you run an obstacle course Martyn? No, you can't. You'd get a note from your Mum to get you out of doing it. Can you land a plane Mark? No? Well never mind because they don't do that game in this episode.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.