When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

Centurion /sɛnˈtjʊərɪən/ noun 1) The commander of a century in the ancient Roman army. 2) A man covered in pegs onto which aeroplane, boat or motorbike parts can be affixed in order to fight the forces of evil.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

A drama series about a newspaper run by teenagers? Sounds boring right? Right. That is absolutely correct.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

This week Mark and Martyn watched Dooby's Duck Truck. I refuse to write a proper blurb for this. Because it's Dooby's Duck Truck. What have we become...?

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Two primates have some fun "monkeying about" and probably learn a lesson or two along the way. Then they watch Bangers and Mash, a cartoon about naughty chimps.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Not a Prison Break spin-off, or a lesson in bad sportsmanship in first person shooters. Not even an account of a dubious sexual practice. Just the simple story of a young girl fighting an evil witch who lives in a magical teapot with (or without) the help of a little boy who is (or isn't) the witch's assistant. Or whatever.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

White expressionless hippo people have vaguely creepy adventures in the animated atrocity that is the Moomins. That's all I have to say about that.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

"Rosie and Jim, Rosie and Jim, Chugging along on the old Ragdoll..."

Mark and Martyn settle down to watch the Annabelle/The Conjuring prequel Rosie and Jim, about two sort-of-alive dolls who probably have some kind of murderous intent. Because they always do.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

Happy Easter Wheelers! Let's celebrate getting fat eating Easter chocolate by watching a fat kid and his friends nearly kill an old man. This is the plot of the Fat Albert Easter Special for some reason.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

"Next time you're at the checkout and you hear the beep, think of the fun you could be having on Supermarket Sweep!"

To be clear, this show's definition of fun is basically picking up novelty inflatables and solving riddles whilst doing someone else's shopping. Fun.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.

What a time of mixed messages the 80s and 90s were. On the one hand we had Charlie the cat warning us about strange men promising puppies, and on the other hand we were presented with programmes like Watt On Earth, where a creepy grown man tries to befriend a young boy and keep their relationship a secret and we as the audience were supposed to think that was ok.

Well it's not ok. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And I will make them pay for what they have done!

No wait, that's the Borg. Still, Watt On Earth deserves to be destroyed in a fire.

EMAIL: [email protected] TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger

W4B theme composed by John Croudy.