I once spoke to a person who considered himself an older single. He was completely consumed with the fact that he was still not married. He did not want to hear anything other than advice or a segula on how he could get married. He said he was unable to concentrate on anything else in life and resolved to basically be completely unproductive until he gets married. It wasn't something he was happy about, but he said he just wasn't able to focus on anything else. I told him life is so much bigger than just getting what we want. It is true that marriage is a mitzvah and will help a person with his avodat Hashem, but if he is doing his part in trying to get married, but it is just not working out, that means for the time being, it's Hashem will for him to serve Him without being married. If he thinks he can't function without being married, he'll be missing out on a major part of his purpose in this world. His job now is to do everything in his power to live the way a Jewish man is supposed to live. The value of a person's avodah when it is hard is infinitely greater than when it is easy. Of course it is hard to want to do anything else when our will is not being fulfilled, but precisely because it is so hard, that is where all the glory lies. When a person perseveres under duress, he will see that that time in his life made him into the person he was meant to become. I once read a mashal of a dove that was born without wings. The dove was in a depressed state because all of its relatives and friends were able to fly wherever they wanted while it was stuck in its place. It was even hard for this dove just to walk. Its friends and family would go out flying all day long, seeing the most beautiful sights, and at evening time, when they would return, they would talk about all the beautiful places they saw that day. This poor dove without wings would just sit there and cry, feeling bad that it wasn't able to experience the same pleasures that everyone else was. One day, this dove couldn't take it anymore and cried out to Hashem from the bottom of its heart, begging Him to give it wings. And sure enough, the next morning, when the dove woke up, there were two big wings that grew on either side of it. But this bird was not accustomed to flying and it didn't know that what appeared to be large obstacles on its sides were really the wings it was hoping for. So, as always, it began to walk, but now walking was so much harder with those heavy burdens on its sides. When it felt it couldn't continue on, the dove looked up towards Shamayim and said, "My loving Father in Heaven, is it not bad enough that I am unable to fly like everybody else, but now I also have to have trouble walking with these heavy burdens at my sides?" A Heavenly voice then called out, "My precious little bird, I did not give you any burdens. I gave you the wings that you have been yearning for. Start flapping them and you will soar to the greatest heights." That is the mashal . The nimshal is, sometimes people feel that the life they were given is a huge burden that is weighing them down. All they want to do is complain and have things change. But if they would be able to hear a Heavenly voice, the voice would say, "What you have is not a burden. That's what you need to be able to soar. Flap your wings, produce in the circumstances that you are put in and that will prove to be your greatness." We hope that everybody will eventually get what they are yearning for, but in the meantime, we must not blow the opportunity to become great in the circumstances we currently find ourselves in.