Content Note: This episode discusses sensitive topics related to marriage, emotional neglect, and betrayal. Listener discretion is advised. 

I was an elected official, a leader, and a "superstar" at work. At home, I was a ghost. This is the story of how I found bread in the wilderness of my own marriage. 

For nearly a year, I went quiet. Not because I ran out of things to say, but because I was living through a story I didn’t yet have words for. In this week’s episode of Where to Find Bread, I take you back to the beginning, to the attachment wounds of my adoption and the 'deals' I made with God at 23. 

I share the reality of 44 years spent in a marriage that felt like a slow-motion train wreck. 

For decades, I believed the lie that I was the problem. I was told I was 'too much' or 'not enough,' while I navigated the invisible wall of Intimacy Anorexia. I became a superstar in my career just to feel seen, while my life at home felt like a series of closed doors. Then came Discovery Day. 

Discovery Day is when the secrets come out, and the slow-motion train wreck finally hits the wall. It’s devastating, but it’s also the first day of the rest of your life. 

If you have ever felt isolated in your own home, or if you’ve been treated as if your worth is tied to your weight or your performance, this episode is for you. I am one hungry beggar telling another where I found bread. And I promise you: It is not your fault. 

If this episode resonates with you: 

• Subscribe so you don’t miss Episode 3 

• Share this episode with someone who feels alone but doesn’t yet have language for it 

• Visit the website (https://wheretofindbread.us) for recovery resources and counselor referrals 

• Subscribe to the newsletter for deeper reflections on healing, faith, and living well 

• Connect with the community, you don’t have to carry this alone 

 Chapter Markers 

03:40 – Why This Episode Matters

05:43 – Early Attachment Wounds and Adult Relationships 

07:14 – Spiritual Bargaining and the Search for Belonging 

11:53 – Marriage Without Emotional Safety 

14:06 – Loneliness Inside Commitment 

16:37 – Work, Achievement, and External Validation 

20:10 – Discovery Day Explained 

21:03 – Intimacy Anorexia and Emotional Absence 

22:48 – Making Meaning After Betrayal and Looking Ahead to Episode 3 

Episode 3 Teaser 

In the next episode, out next week, the conversation widens.

Teri is joined by her husband, whom she calls the Professor, to share what those same decades felt like from the other side. His story is not offered as defense or justification, but as context. Understanding both perspectives is essential for real recovery, compassion, and meaning-making. 

Episode 3 is a necessary continuation of the journey.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

I was an elected official, a leader, and a "superstar" at work. At home, I was a ghost. This is the story of how I found bread in the wilderness of my own marriage.

For nearly a year, I went quiet. Not because I ran out of things to say, but because I was living through a story I didn’t yet have words for.

In this Friday’s episode of Where to Find Bread, I take you back to the beginning—to the attachment wounds of my adoption and the 'deals' I made with God at 23. I share the reality of 44 years spent in a marriage that felt like a slow-motion train wreck.

For decades, I believed the lie that I was the problem. I was told I was 'too much' or 'not enough,' while I navigated the invisible wall of Intimacy Anorexia. I became a superstar in my career just to feel seen, while my life at home felt like a series of closed doors.

Then came Discovery Day.

Discovery Day is when the secrets come out, and the slow-motion train wreck finally hits the wall. It’s devastating, but it’s also the first day of the rest of your life.

If you have ever felt isolated in your own home, or if you’ve been treated as if your worth is tied to your weight or your performance—this episode is for you. I am one hungry beggar telling another where I found bread. And I promise you: It is not your fault.

Don't miss my story on Friday. Subscribe.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

Where to Find Bread is a podcast about living well, even when life hasn’t gone according to plan.

Hosted by Teri Murrison, this show explores personal growth, emotional resilience, and relationship healing through honest conversations and real-life experience. Season One invited listeners to create an “It’s Not Too Late” list—a bold reimagining of what’s still possible in midlife and beyond.

Season Two focuses on relationships and recovery, with a particular emphasis on betrayal trauma, sex addiction recovery, and intimacy anorexia. Through interviews with men and women living through betrayal, along with doctors, counselors, and other experts, Where to Find Bread offers insight, validation, and practical tools for healing after betrayal.

This podcast is for women—and the partners who love them—who want more than survival. It’s for those seeking women’s empowerment, clarity, and hope, and who believe that honest conversation can change lives.

If you’re navigating heartbreak, reinvention, or the quiet question of “Is this really it?”—you’re in the right place. 

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

When plans fail, you can still choose your values, peace, and your next step. 

Season 2 of Where to Find Bread, a living well and personal growth podcast, begins with  powerful truth: It’s not too late for hope and healing—even when life falls apart. 

In this deeply personal episode, host Teri Murrison shares how she endured betrayal trauma and forgot (but then remembered) that all is not as it seems on the surface. 

She shares how she shifted from doing to being after discovering her husband’s sex addiction and intimacy anorexia and how she recovered from their dysfunctional 43-year marriage. 

She talks about overcoming and empowerment via a return to faith, peace, boundaries, and purpose. And eventually, experienced restoration of peace and their marriage relationship. 

She introduces her Let Me List - a framework for restoring emotional resilience even when control was gone, trust was broken, and joy distant. 

✉️ Subscribe to her newsletter at https//:wheretofindbread.us for deeper reflections and resources 

🌐 Visit the website at https//:wheretofindbread.us to check out resources, read the blog, and explore past episodes 

🎧 Follow and listen wherever you get your podcasts 

💬 Connect with others who want real tools for real life, and DM Teri if you have questions or need resources 

Because we need each other—and someday is not guaranteed. And because, Teri still believes, carpe diem is not reckless. It's wise. 

⏱️ Timestamps 

00:00 INTRO - Prepare for a very rough ride and an admonition 

02:24 Welcome to Season 2 

04:30 “It’s Not Too Late” and the urgency of time 

05:05 Stories of guests who seized the day 

07:45 When life suddenly gets smaller 

08:00 “All is not as it seems” – faith in turbulence 

10:12 Betrayal, gaslighting, and survival 

11:00 From the “It’s Not Too Late” list to the “Let Me List” 

11:32 Letting go of control 

11:57 Living by values and boundaries 

14:18 Choosing joy and restoring partnership 

15:02 Why Where to Find Bread exists 

16:03 Season 2 vision & invitation 

If you’ve ever wondered whether healing, hope, or change is still possible, this conversation is for you.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

In this episode of Fresh Bread, Teri Murrison reflects on personal and societal challenges, drawing parallels between historical events and contemporary issues. 

She discusses the impact of budget cuts in Idaho, the lessons from the Exodus story, and her own journey of growth and forgiveness. 

Teri encourages listeners to shift their perspectives from complaints to appreciation, emphasizing the importance of forgiveness and understanding in navigating life's difficulties. 

Takeaways 

• Honesty meets hope in every situation. 

• Budget cuts lead to service cuts, impacting communities. 

• Historical lessons can guide our current challenges. 

• Complaining can distract from personal growth. 

• Forgiveness is essential for moving forward. 

• Life's challenges can be seen as periods of growth. 

• Appreciation can change our perspective on hardships. 

• Reflecting on the past can provide clarity for the future. 

• We often overlook the bigger picture in our struggles. 

• It's important to consider what we can learn from our experiences. 

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Fresh Bread and Aha Moments 

00:57 Reflections on Budget Cuts and State Services 

02:36 Lessons from the Exodus: Complaints and Forgiveness 

04:45 Personal Journey: Wandering in the Desert of Life 

06:02 Looking at the Bigger Picture: Gratitude and Forgiveness

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terisdoingit.substack.com

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

Episode Description

After a year-long hiatus, host Teri Murrison returns with a new season—and a new podcast name. In this sneak peek episode of Where to Find Bread, Teri shares why Teri’s Doing It! ended, what happened during a devastating marriage marked by marital betrayal and sexual addiction, and how recovery, therapy, and hard-earned tools helped her and her husband begin again.

Season 2 will explore marriage, pornography addiction, intimacy anorexia, betrayal trauma, attachment, neuroplasticity, grief, recovery, and healing—with counselors, doctors, people in recovery, and betrayed partners. This season isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about finding hope - bread - when you’re starving for it.

Season 2 launches in February.

Episode Keywords 

marriage recovery, betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, pornography addiction, intimacy anorexia, marriage podcast, healing after betrayal, marriage, Christian marriage, recovery podcast, trauma and healing, neuroplasticity, relationships

Episode Takeaways 

Why the podcast took a year-long pause

How betrayal and addiction impact marriage and identity

What recovery actually looks like—not just sounds like

Why these conversations matter inside and outside the church

What to expect in Season 2 of Where to Find Bread

Call to Action 

Subscribe to Where to Find Bread so you don’t miss the Season 2 launch.

Sign up for the newsletter on Substack: @wheretofindbread

🎧 The Sneak Peek episode is live now, and Season 2 officially launches in February.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit terisdoingit.substack.com

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

I’d been curious for years. If I invested in laser resurfacing for my sundamaged, rosaceated face, would it be worth it? The HALO and BBL treatments aren’t cheap or from what I’d heard, painless. But some people swear by them.

Like most teenagers, I took absolutely no care of my skin when I should have. Sun damage led to wrinkles, keratoses, and more than several skin cancers beginning in my forties. Fortunately, so far none have been malignant. But I figure that’s a matter of time.

So, when I heard that laser resurfacing beauty treatments to reduce facial wrinkling can also help lessen the likelihood of skin cancer, it seemed prudent to give it a whirl. I went to the source of all Internet info, YouTube and watched a bunch of videos but came away less than persuaded. The videos online didn’t exactly convince me that there would be a change big enough to justify the cost in dollars or discomfort. Here’s what did convince me though. The thought that I could make my own “brutally honest” video so you could see what I learned. Here it is.

Tell me what you think. As for me? Watch and learn.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

In Season 1, Teri focuses on extraordinary people who have followed their passions to feed their souls and accomplish things that benefit others.

UPDATE: Bob continues traveling the world and seeing things in his own inimitable way. He’s got a great trip to India coming up in 2026. For more info, go to: Lumaria Workshops.

I’m excited about my recent in depth conversation with renowned travel photographer Robert “Bob” Holmes, exploring his journey from a shy boy to an award-winning photographer. He’s not only uber-talented, but he’s funny and a most enjoyable travel companion (I visited San Francisco with Bob, his business partner Andrea Johnson, and a small group of really fun folks last August).

Bob is one who early on followed his passion for mountain climbing and photography and has few regrets. We discuss the importance of stepping outside one’s comfort zone, the art of photography, and his transition from primarily travel photography to encompass food and wine photography too. Bob shares insights on teaching photography, the current landscape of the industry, and offers valuable advice for aspiring photographers. Bob rocks! And oh, check out his photos in the podcast and on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bobholmesphoto/.

Note: Apologies to the fabulous Bri Sneller for the caption misspelling of her first name (and who is, as Bob delicately pointed out, not cheese), and Bob Gilka, Bob’s guy at National Geographic.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

In Season 1, Teri focuses on extraordinary people who have followed their passions to feed their souls and accomplish things that benefit others.

UPDATE: Sadly, shortly before this was broadcast, the incoming Presidential administration cut funding to the USAID program that funded Dan’s work in Africa and other third-world countries. After a few months, Dan figured out how to operate his programs without federal dollars. How long he’ll be able to keep doing that is anyone’s guess, but he’s putting his own resources, in greater measure than before, to his efforts.

In this episode, Dan Lavin says he’s doing exactly what he wants to do: taking his passion for humanitarian work to far-flung continents where he empowers communities and individuals, teaching them financial literacy through experiential learning. Dan works in places without electricity and few of the comforts we take for granted and he couldn’t be happier.

Early on, Dan put a legal education to work by learning how to ask the right questions. It’s a skill he used extensively as an attorney, an accountant, in the Peace Corp, and now, as a globe-hopping facilitator promoting the gospel of financial literacy in third world countries. Join us as he reveals how loneliness propelled him into recognizing and pursuing the value of human connection and the need to live without regrets and with compassion and kindness. As Dan says, “I hit something magical here.”

He wants you to find your own magic too.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

In Season 1, Teri focuses on extraordinary people who have followed their passions to feed their souls and accomplish things that benefit others.

UPDATE: Tom continues writing and publishing books well into his 80s. Tyler Austin Harper, a writer in The Atlantic, recently wrote, “Thomas McGuane Is the Last of His Kind: What will we lose when we lose the “literary outdoorsman”? Many of us dread the day we hear that newsflash. I do, especially after our visit last January. He has a gift for making one feel like an old friend.

Jan 2, 2025 Thomas “Tom” McGuane. His name conjures up visions of Jimmy Buffet (his brother in law), “literary lion” Jim Harrison, Tom himself, and hedonistic Key West in the 70s. There’s even a documentary about that time, All That is Sacred. Or you may have heard larger than life Hollywood tales about him and Marlon Brando, Robert Redford, and Jeff Bridges. His finger prints are on 92 in the Shade, Rancho Deluxe, The Missouri Breaks, and others. These days though, in his eighties, he’s a revered Montana writer with whom the New Yorker Magazine has first right of refusal on his fiction, who lives on a big ranch on the banks of the West Boulder River, and who counts his family and friends, fly fishing, preserving the land, and riding into the National Cutting Horse Hall of Fame, among his greatest passions. I am pleased to feature Tom as someone who has followed his passion.

Initially intimidated by his reputation, instead of the stuff of rumor and legends, I found him to be an intellectual Andy Griffith-esque kinda guy. You will too. Ours wasn’t so much of an interview really. Talking with Tom, even over the computer with more than one technical issue, was more like sitting on a front porch with a bourbon and watching the river flow by. Shooting the breeze.

So, hook your boots over the metaphorical porch rail with me. Get to know this truly authentic, kind, and approachable Tom McGuane.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening!