In this episode of Where to Find Bread, I share a deeply personal reflection on trauma, identity, and the labels that can shape our lives for years without us fully realizing it.

As I continued my Internal Family Systems work, I came to understand a protective part of myself I call Cry Baby. That experience helped me see how the label victim had quietly influenced the way I saw myself, the way I moved through the world, and the kinds of situations I found myself in.

In this episode, I talk about the burden of negative identity labels, the role of trauma and secrecy in shaping emotional patterns, and the freedom that comes when I begin choosing new words on purpose.

I am no longer content to stay in survival mode. I am no longer aiming only for healing. I am choosing to thrive.

I share the new labels I am embracing now: beneficiary, rescuer, victor, thriver, and hero.

If you are navigating betrayal trauma recovery, healing from childhood wounds, or reclaiming your sense of self after painful experiences, I hope this episode offers insight, encouragement, and hope.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

"If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down." — Roy T. Bennett

When we survive trauma or betrayal, we often carry heavy "boulders" labeled I’ll never trust again, What if, and If only. We think these boulders protect us, but in reality, they just keep us pinned to the ground.

In this episode, Teri Murrison explores the first letter of her journal and coloring book, 26 Days of Fresh Bread: A for Accept.

Teri shares a deeply personal realization about what it actually means to "chuck a boulder." It isn’t just about letting go of the bad things that happened to us; sometimes, the heaviest weights we carry are the things we treasure—the "yearnings" for a past that no longer exists.

Inside this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why acceptance is the first necessary ingredient in the recipe for healing.
• The surprising "good" boulders that might be holding you back from your future.
• How the creative acts of coloring and journaling can calm the mind and release emotional expression.
• A sneak peek into the next step of the journey: B for Bridge.

If you are ready to transition from surviving to thriving, pull up a chair. There is fresh bread for your soul today.

Links & Resources:

• Download the Free 4-Letter Sample (H is for Healing): [ https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com/pkhn05c6fw ]
• Get the Full 60-Page E-Book & Journal: [ https://wheretofindbread.us/product/26-days-of-fresh-bread-coloring-book-journal/ ]
• Join the Newsletter: [ https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com/ ] for more "bread for hungry souls."
• Follow Teri on YouTube: [ youtube.com/wheretofindbread ]
• Teri's Website: [wheretofindbread.us]

Share your thoughts: What is one boulder you are carrying today? What would it feel like to set it down for just a moment?

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

 *Leading Your Internal Boardroom: Healing with IFS Therapy & EMDR* 

Welcome to Season 3, Episode 2 of "Where to Find Bread" with your host, Teri Murrison. Have you ever felt like someone else was pulling the strings in your life Today, I’m getting personal about a struggle I’ve had my entire life: control of the "internal boardroom".

 In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain and sharing how I took back control using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and EMDR. I'll introduce you to the protective "parts" of my personality, from Madam Chair to Chatty Cathy, and even the "exiled" parts I found hiding in the dark hold of my internal ship. Plus, I share a massive epiphany about the "Rusty Gate" that changed my entire outlook on rejection. 

(As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.) 

*What You Will Learn in This Episode:* 

- The Rusty Gate Epiphany: Why rejection is often just protection from a dysfunctional situation. 

- Internal Family Systems (IFS): A deep dive into Richard Schwartz's model of therapy and how it works. 

- Meeting My Parts: Understanding Madam Chair, Chatty Cathy, Miss Independence, and more. 

- The Trap Door: Bringing my exiled, shamed parts back into the light for true healing. 

- The 8 C's of Self: How to restore your core self to lead with calmness, clarity, and courage. *Resources & Links:* 

- My Thriving Resources Page: http://wheretofindbread.us/thriving-resources - Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute: https://ifs-institute.com/ 

- "No Bad Parts" by Richard Schwartz: http://wheretofindbread.us/resources/ 

*Video Chapters:* 00:00 - Introduction: Who is Running Your Internal Boardroom? 01:15 - The Rusty Gate Epiphany: Rejection is Protection 02:37 - Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy Explained 04:14 - The 8 C's of Self & Restoring Balance 05:01 - Meeting My Internal Parts (Madam Chair, Chatty Cathy) 09:50 - The Trap Door: Healing My Exiled Parts 11:41 - Testing My New Self-Leadership 13:59 

*Please leave a comment:* I read every single one! Let me know who is sitting at your internal board table. 

*Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, and SHARE this video to help others heal!* 

*Connect With Me:* 

- Website: https://wheretofindbread.us 

- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586913073629 

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teri_murrison/ 

*🔔 SUBSCRIBE:* https://www.youtube.com/@WheretoFindBread/featured?sub_confirmation=1 #IFS 

#InternalFamilySystems #EMDRTherapy #TraumaHealing #SelfLeadership #WhereToFindBread #TeriMurrison #TherapyJourney #OvercomingTrauma #mentalwellness 

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

Episode Summary

Welcome to Season 3. We are leaving "surviving" behind and moving into "thriving." In this kickoff episode, I’m getting vulnerable about a question I’ve asked myself for a long time: what was wrong with me? I’m sharing my recent return to therapy, not to talk about betrayal, but to do the deep work on my family of origin. I discuss my experience with bilateral stimulation (EMDR), how trauma gets stuck in the body, and why I’m finally ready to open the "rusty gate" to my past so I can fly unencumbered into my future.

Show Notes 

Stop Surviving. Start Thriving.

I actually had a different episode recorded for today, but I trashed it. After a life-changing hour in therapy this week, I knew I had to tell you the truth about where I am and where we are going.

In the premiere of Season 3, I’m shifting the focus entirely to personal health and wholeness. I’m sharing the "who, what, where, and why" of family of origin work and why I was finally brave enough to wade into those waters. If you’ve ever felt "fragmented" or stuck in old patterns of behavior, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I cover:

• The Decision to Start Again: Why I’m focusing on my own healing independent of my husband’s recovery.
• Family of Origin 101: What it is and how our early roles and traumas influence our relationships today.
• The Science of Healing: My experience with "paddles" (bilateral stimulation) and how it helped me process a recurring, painful dream about my childhood home.
• The Baby, The Prostitute, and Me: A reading of a portion of my personal story about the "rusty gate" and finding safety within myself.
• Big News: The reveal of my upcoming project, the 26 Days of Fresh Bread Coloring Book & Journal.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk (and the accompanying workbook).
• The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins.
• The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook (for a much-needed laugh).
• New Thriving Resources: Check them out at wheretofindbread.us/thriving-resources

Connect with me:

• Subscribe: Don’t miss a single step of this "Thriving" season.
• Website: Find the new resources and my blog at wheretofindbread.us
• Social Media: Follow for updates on the new coloring book and journal!
• #Family of origin work #healing childhood trauma #EMDR for betrayal trauma #thriving after betrayal #Teri Murrison #Where to Find Bread #somatic memory healing #The Body Keeps the Score #Mel Robbins # The Let Them Theory # Personal wholeness  #26 Days of Fresh Bread 

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

Stop Surviving. Start Thriving.

It's time. Who's with me?! Tell me in the comments, please!

In this season finale, I’m making a clean break. For the past year, we’ve looked at the "who, what, where, and when" of surviving a partner’s sexual addiction and intimacy anorexia. But today, I’m stepping out of that winter and into a new season focused on personal resilience and joy.

I share a bit of my own history with early childhood fragmentation and how it shaped my world. We discuss why betrayal isn't your fault, but why your healing is your responsibility. This isn't about taking the blame for a partner’s choices: it’s about reclaiming the life you deserve.

In this episode, I cover:

• The Big Pivot: Why I’m leaving the topic of addiction in more capable hands to focus on personal wholeness.
• Fragmentation vs. Wholeness: A look at how early attachment issues mess with our brains and how we can rewire them.
• The Roadmap for Season 3: Using art, travel, music, and journalling to build a life you love.
• Key Takeaways: A recap of our journey from "Doing It" (Season 1) to "Surviving" (Season 2) and what it looks like to "Thrive" (Season 3).

Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction to Season Three: A New Beginning 02:48 Moving Forward: Healing and Wholeness 05:37 Key Takeaways from Seasons One and Two

Connect with me:

• Visit the Website: Find the Survival Guide for D-Day and other recovery resources
• Follow on Social Media: Facebook, Instagram

Join the Newsletter: Stay updated on new episodes and tools for your toolkit.  Don’t miss the transition to Season 3.  Subscribe

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

If you’ve just had the "Discovery Day" (D-Day) talk - that moment where the person you love tells you they’ve been living a double life - you are likely reeling, numb, or quivering with rage. 

I’ve been exactly where you are. In this episode, I’m sharing the list of things I wish someone had handed me the day my world was blown to bits. From why you need a notepad and a snow shovel to a "cold-blooded" informal financial audit that actually gives you peace of mind, these are the 12 best practices that helped me regain my footing. You won't be the same person a year from now, but I promise you, it can be better.

When the "Professor" walked down the stairs and told me he was a sex addict, I had no roadmap. I didn't know about "best practices" for trauma; I just knew I was falling. Today, I’m looping back to that moment to help those of you who are just starting this journey.

"D-Day" Best Practices:

1. Breathe: Don't react or throw things. Keep your powder dry; you'll need that energy for the long haul.
2. The Notepad: Write everything down immediately. Trauma makes your memory unreliable, and you'll want an accurate record of what was actually said.
3. Vigorous Exercise: I hate to exercise, but shoveling snow protected me from uncontrollable rage. Find a way to release your physical energy.
4. Find the Right Help: Do not just call any counselor. Go to APSATS.org to find someone trained in partner trauma. Don't be blamed for their choices by a well-meaning (or otherwise) therapist.
5. Define Your Safety: Physical, emotional, and spiritual. If they need to sleep in another room or move out, insist on it.
6. Find a Group: Check out PureDesire.org for a Betrayal and Beyond group. Isolation is the enemy of healing.
7. Partner Groups: Request they get into a group like Seven Pillars right away.
8. An Informal Financial Assessment: It sounds cold, but you need to know where you stand financially AND if you can make it on your own. Knowing the numbers gives you a position of strength from which to negotiate.
9. Accept the Change: You will never be the same person you were before this day. Grieve that loss, but don't rush the stages of grief.
10. Invest in Yourself: Pedicures, haircuts, or seek new interests. Do it for you, not to prove a point.
11. Journal: Write it down so that a year from now, you can see how far you've come.
12. New Reality over Restoration: Sometimes there is nothing in the "old" marriage worth restoring. It's okay to want a completely new reality instead.

Links Mentioned:

• APSATS.org (To find trauma-specialized coaches and therapists)
• PureDesire.org (For local and online support groups)
• Our Website: https://wheretofindbread.us

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

I’m so glad to have Bridget Gregor back with me for Part 2 of our conversation. While our last episode focused on her personal story, today we’re getting into the "how" of healing. 

Show Notes 

In this episode, I sit down with clarity coach Bridget Gregor to map out the journey from the initial shock of discovery to the solid ground of a reclaimed life. If you’ve ever felt like you were losing your mind after uncovering a partner's secret life, this conversation will give you the validation and the tools you need to breathe again.

What we cover in this episode:

• Coaching vs. Counseling: Why a "Clarity Coach" might be the forward-thinking partner you need to move from point A to point B.
• The 3 Stages of Healing: A look at the APSATS model—Safety and Stabilization, Remembering and Grieving, and finally, Reconnecting.
• Your Brain on Trauma: Understanding the "window of tolerance" and why you sometimes feel numb or hyper-anxious.
• The Necessity of Truth: Why "trickle truth" destroys trust and how a formal full disclosure process can help you reclaim your power through informed consent.
• Grounding Techniques: Practical ways to calm your nervous system when the triggers feel overwhelming.
• Redefining Success: Why healing is about your wholeness, regardless of whether your marriage is restored or ends in divorce.

Resources Mentioned:

• APSATS Model of Healing: https://apsats.org
• Full Disclosure Workbook by Dan Drake and Janice Caudel  
• Visit Where to Find Bread for more resources 

Connect with us:

• Subscribe to my newsletter for encouragement and tools.
• Watch the podcast and join the conversation in the comments to connect with others who truly understand.
• Follow on social media for insights on resilience and healing.

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

 Bridget Gregor, a clarity coach for partners of sex addicts, shares her story of betrayal trauma recovery. For over a decade, she navigated the devastating layers of her husband’s secret sexual addiction and double life, all while being told she was the "codependent" one. 

➡️ In this episode of "Where to Find Bread," Bridget shares the raw truth about realizing she wasn't the problem—she was a traumatized partner in an unsafe marriage. We discuss the difficult transition from trying to "save" the relationship to finally saving herself, and the beautiful redemption she found on the other side. 

This is a must-listen for anyone healing from emotional abuse or religious trauma. 

Timestamps: 

00:00 - Introduction to Bridget Gregor's Story 

08:00 - The "Secret Sexual Basement": Uncovering the Double Life 

14:36 - Are You a "Codependent" or a Traumatized Partner? 

23:00 - Healing from Emotional and Domestic Abuse in Marriage 

32:14 - Finding Redemption and Life After Betrayal 

Learn more about Bridget Gregor at https://www.empowered-coaching.org/ 

#betrayaltraumarecovery #sexaddictionrecovery #bridgetgregor #emotionalabuse #religioustrauma #healingjourney #apsats #wheretofindbread 

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

Episode Description: I’m discussing betrayal trauma and intimacy anorexia with Jennie Bacon, a licensed professional counselor who specializes in helping couples navigate the "secret sexual basement" of addiction. If you’ve experienced the trauma of discovery, you know that the lies often hurt more than the actions. Jennie and I dive into the Minwalla Model, the importance of APSATS training, and why specialized help is necessary for real healing.

In this conversation, we cover:

• The Personal Iceberg: Why the behavior you see is only the tip of a much deeper problem involving integrity abuse.
• Betrayal as Domestic Abuse: A look at the psychological impact of gaslighting and manipulation on a partner’s nervous system.
• Specialized Recovery Tools: Why general marriage counseling often fails and how tools like EMDR and EFT help move trauma out of the body.
• The Roadmap to Truth: Understanding the difference between a "trickle-drip" of lies and a formal therapeutic disclosure.
• Faith and Safety: A candid talk about the tension between church tradition and the actual safety of the individual.

Resources for your journey:

• Find a specialist through APSATS: https://apsats.org
• Learn about the Minwalla Model: https://minwallamodel.com/
• Visit my Services and Resources page: https://wheretofindbread.us/services

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening! 

Episode Summary

In this episode, I’m joined by a very special guest: my husband, Rich (often referred to as "The Professor"). For years, we lived through a "slow-motion train wreck," and while I’ve shared my perspective, it’s time to hear his. Rich opens up about the roots of his struggles, from a crushing childhood divorce to the "dragon" of sex addiction and intimacy anorexia that nearly destroyed our 44-year marriage. We dive deep into what betrayal looks like when it isn't a physical affair, the physical toll secrets take on the body, and the specific steps we took to choose recovery over divorce. This is a raw, unfiltered look at the work required to find hope in the ruins.

Show Notes:

Welcome back to Where to Find Bread. This is the episode many of you have been waiting for. Today, my husband Rich joins me to share the side of the story you haven't heard. We’re going beyond the surface to discuss the reality of recovery, the impact of secret addictions, and why "truth-telling" is the only way to save a soul.

In this episode, we discuss:

·         The Roots of the "Dragon": Rich shares how childhood trauma and a lack of supervision led to an early introduction to pornography and a pattern of emotional withdrawal.

·         The Military Years: A look at how past heartbreak in Italy fueled a cycle of "acting out" and a vow to never be vulnerable again.

·         Defining Intimacy Anorexia: We explain this often-misunderstood term and how withholding emotional, spiritual, and physical connection is a form of betrayal.

·         Discovery Day: The moment the secret surfaced on his Facebook feed and the terror of finally being seen.

·         The Physical Toll of Secrets: How Rich’s health declined as the addiction progressed, and the "shrunken" version of himself he became while riding the dragon.

·         The Path to Recovery: Why specific training in the field of sex addiction and intimacy anorexia is non-negotiable for healing and how neuroplasticity offers hope for a re-wired brain and recovery.

Key Takeaways:

1.  Betrayal is more than physical: Intimacy anorexia, the active withholding of oneself, can be just as damaging as an affair and is actually a form of domestic abuse.

2.  Addiction is progressive: It gets worse. It doesn't just stay in the mind; it eventually manifests in physical illness and emotional isolation too.

3.  Healing requires a specific tribe: General counseling often falls short. Recovery requires experts trained in the nuances of sex addiction and partner trauma.

4.  It’s never too late: Even after 40+ years of dysfunction, a commitment to change and radical honesty can build a new foundation.

Connect with Teri:

·         Visit the Website  Check out our Services and Resources page for recommended books and counselors.

·         Subscribe to the Newsletter

·         Follow on Social Media: Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest

·         Join the Conversation: Watch on Yo

Please share these podcast episodes with all your friends - you never know who might be hurting in silence - and subscribe at https://wheretofindbread.us. 

 Thank you for listening!