Some stories don’t begin on the day of the crisis - they begin years earlier, in the quiet choices that shape who we are before we’re tested. That’s the premise Vincent Van den Broek returns to throughout our conversation about his brain trauma recovery on Where to Find Bread.

In October 2024, Vincent was struck by a car while riding an e-scooter. He was given a 10% chance of survival, spent three weeks in a coma, underwent multiple neurosurgeries, and had part of his skull removed and stored in his abdomen - a standard procedure, he explains, used to relieve pressure and protect the brain from oxygen loss. His family began preparing for the possibility that he might never wake up. He did. And what followed, he says, wasn’t a transformation into someone new, but confirmation of who he already was.

That distinction sits at the heart of this episode. Vincent rejects the popular idea that catastrophe rebuilds a person from scratch. Instead, he describes the accident as a test of the values he’d already spent years developing - authenticity, honesty, and genuine human connection. “Resilience,” he says, “is a muscle that you can train just like any other muscle in your body.” He compares it to lifting weights: you don’t start with the heaviest load, you build gradually, over months, by choosing to face hardship instead of avoiding it.

The conversation moves through Vincent’s founding of Until It’s Done, a well-being community built on the idea that dreams and goals are achieved through the deliberate alignment of health, lifestyle, mindset, structure, and action - not luck. He traces this philosophy back to his own life: a structured, closely managed childhood under a mother he describes as “the law,” a first job in hospitality he wasn’t originally allowed to pursue, and a career built almost entirely on his love of people and connection.

Vincent shares his physical scars on camera and walks through what happened to his skull and brain during the accident and subsequent surgeries - offered plainly, from personal experience, not as medical advice. From there, the conversation moves naturally into a discussion of neuroplasticity, which Vincent describes in accessible terms as the brain’s ability to “build new roads” after damage. He also touches on concepts like cognitive reserve and myelin, drawing on his own research and conversations with his medical team, while being clear that he is not a medical professional and cannot speak to how these processes work for anyone else’s recovery.

Many who’ve experienced betrayal trauma will take away nuggets from Vincent’s experience. Vincent leaves us with an open invitation to reach out to him directly and a reminder that, wherever you are, “when you’re at your lowest, the only way is up.

True that.

When someone you love has been betrayed, knowing what to say — and what NOT to say — can make all the difference.

In this short video, Teri shares the exact words that actually help someone healing from betrayal trauma. Not the clichés. Not the quick fixes. The things that make someone feel seen, safe, and supported when their world has fallen apart. This is for the betrayed and our friends, family members, and loved ones who want to show up well — but don't always know how.

🕯️ What You'll Learn

Why most people say the wrong thing (and why it matters) The difference between empathy and sympathy And 10 specific phrases that actually help. These are things Teri wishes she had heard when going through her own betrayal trauma. So share this with whomever needs to hear it and then let them do whatever makes YOU most comfortable. Let’s dive in.

📖 Mentioned in this video:

The "person in the hole" analogy for understanding empathy vs. sympathy

Chapters:

00:00 — Intro: Why words matter after betrayal

03:50 — What most people get wrong

05:27 — 10 specific phrases that actually help

07:38 — Empathy vs. sympathy: the “person in the hole”

07:55 — What they do not need

08:19 — Your turn: share your phrase

💬 She'd love to hear from you: What's one thing someone said to you during a hard season that actually helped? Or what do you wish someone had said? Drop it in the comments — your words might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

🔔 Subscribe to Teri’s YouTube Chanel for more honest conversations about healing, faith, and finding your footing after betrayal at: [https://youtube.com/wheretofindbread.us] and to Fresh Bread the Newsletter at [https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com]

“As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.”

🔔 Read Michele Mays' excellent book, "The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst" [https://amzn.to/4nYTbOJ].

#betrayaltrauma #healingafterbetrayal #supportsomeone #empathy #relationshiphealing #betrayalrecovery #whattosay

In our previous episode with host Teri Murrison, we took over the "Internal Board Room," and the response was incredible. So many of you found power in the metaphor of giving your protective parts a voice at the table.

But what happens when not only are you traumatized and an unhelpful part takes over, what happens when you're stuck with a painful label too? What if you begin to identify as "Victim," and if never crying, never telling anyone means you never get the help you need?

In this episode of Where to Find Bread™, Teri shares a deeply personal story about how one word, "Victim", shaped her identity for years and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helped her lay that label down. As she reflects on trauma, betrayal, healing, and self-understanding, she talks about meeting a protective part of herself she calls Cry Baby, and how that discovery opened the door to deeper healing.

This episode is about more than recovery. It is about moving beyond survival and even beyond healing into thriving. She explores the power of words to define us, limit us, or set us free, and shares the new labels she's choosing for herself now: beneficiary, rescuer, victor, thriver, and hero.

If you have ever felt trapped by the names pain, trauma, betrayal, or other people’s actions placed on you, this episode will encourage you to get curious, tell the truth, and choose words that align with who you are becoming.

In This Episode, Teri shares:

• A follow-up to her "Internal Boardroom", the story of the "Cry Baby" protector part, Teri's "Victim" label, and how keeping silent kept Teri stuck.

• How the label became a negative architect of her identity and attracted further mistreatment.

• A brief look at Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how it helps us reconcile our wounded inner parts.

• Real-life examples of how predators and others sense the "Victim" label.

• Her transition from just "healing" to actually "thriving."

• The five new labels she claimed to redefine her life and how you can name and claim your own.

Key Takeaways for Your Internal Boardroom

• Words have power. They are the Architects of our identity. If we use the labels of the ashbin, we stay in the ashbin.

• Thank Your Protectors: Your protective parts were formed to keep you safe when you had no other options. Thank them, then lead them.

• Move Beyond Healing: You don't have to stay in a state of "recovery" forever. You can choose to be a Beneficiary of your wisdom and a Hero over your adversity.

• Rename to Reclaim: Identifying the negative labels you carry is the first step to replacing them with a new identity.

• What's Next? The Bridge to Better Relationships: This work of redefining your identity is the foundation for everything that comes next, especially building healthy relationships. Keeping quiet about trauma - isolating - only guarantees you continue to be a "Victim". Stepping out - being courageous and trusting someone to come alongside - allows you to open a door to healing and opportunity, to being a "Hero". To a place where you can engage with others in strength and wholeness. This is the crucial internal work to do before building external connections.

• Finally, Teri encourages consulting a qualified therapist to assist in the process. Learning about deeply held and repressed memories can be re-traumatizing. Teri's not a counselor and recommends you seek professional assistance to take on family of origin work and to begin working with your parts. She has links to resources on wheretofindbread.us. Use them. Listen, Connect & Learn More

• Catch Up on Part 1: Taking Over Your Internal Boardroom

• Learn about IFS: Internal Family Systems Institute [ifs-institute.com]

• Fresh Bread Coloring Book & Journal (Letter H for Healing) [https://wheretofindbread.us/product/26-days-of-fresh-bread-coloring-book-journal/]

• Subscribe to our YouTube Channel @wheretofindbread and our newsletter at wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com

• Visit our website [wheretofindbread.us] for more information and resources.

• Join the Community: Leave a comment below with the new name you're claiming for one of your parts!

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. But what happens when the weight you're carrying isn't just "bad" memories, but a "good" yearning for the past?

In this episode of "Where to Find Bread," Teri Murrison dives into the first letter of her new E-Book and Journal, 26 Days of Fresh Bread.

Teri shares a raw, honest look at her self-discovery while journaling the letter A for Accept prompt. Using the metaphor of "chucking boulders," she explores how carrying the weight of past betrayals, "what ifs," and even nostalgic longings can pin us to the ground when we were meant to soar. If you feel stuck in survival mode, learn why acceptance isn't about liking what happened - it's about acknowledging where you stand so you can finally move forward toward wholeness and peace.

Hosted by Teri Murrison, "Where to Find Bread" is a space for hard but honest conversations about transitioning from trauma to a life of thriving. Through metaphors of bread-making and creative expression, we find the ingredients needed for a life started anew.

[Timestamps]

0:00 - Intro: 26 Days of Fresh Bread Coloring Book & Journal

0:36 - A is for Accept: Moving from survival to wholeness

1:19 - The power of coloring and journaling for stress reduction

2:15 - Defining Acceptance: Acknowledging where you stand right now

2:46 - Journaling Prompt: What boulders are you carrying today?

3:42 - Realizing which boulders have been dislodged

4:23 - Day Two: When "Yearning" becomes a boulder

6:19 - Why we must let go of the things we treasure to move forward

7:40 - A sneak peek at the letter B: B is for Bridge

8:18 - How to get your copy of the 26 Days of Fresh Bread E-Book

🍞 Get the Free 4-Letter Sample (H is for Healing): [https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com/pkhn05c6fw]

📖 Purchase the Full 60-Page E-Book (26 Days of Fresh Bread): [https://wheretofindbread.us/product/26-days-of-fresh-bread-coloring-book-journal/]

📩 Subscribe to the Newsletter for more bread for hungry souls: [https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com/]

Subscribe to the Channel: [youtube.com/wheretofindbread]

Website: [www.wheretofindbread.us]

#WhereToFindBread #TraumaHealing #Acceptance #MentalHealth #Journaling #TeriMurrison #EmotionalWellness #PersonalGrowth

I spent years feeling like different parts of me were fighting for control — until I discovered Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. It changed everything.

In this video, I walk you through how IFS and EMDR therapy helped me identify the "protective" and "wounded" parts of my personality that were originally created by family of origin trauma and made exponentially worse by partner betrayal trauma — and how I finally started healing from the inside out.

You'll hear about the Eight C's of Self (confidence, calmness, creativity, clarity, courage, curiosity, compassion, connectedness) and how I used them to stop my past trauma from running my present life. This isn't clinical advice. This is one hungry beggar telling you where she found bread.

⏱ CHAPTERS:

00:00 – Introduction: Who's really in charge?

00:20 – The Boardroom Metaphor

02:51 – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

04:17 – The Eight C's of Self

05:35 – How EMDR Unlocked My Traumatic Memories

10:54 – The Moment Everything Shifted 14:05 – Free Resource: 26 Days of Fresh Bread

*Resources & Links:*

- My Thriving Resources Page: http://wheretofindbread.us/thriving-resources

- Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute: https://ifs-institute.com/

- "No Bad Parts" by Richard Schwartz: http://wheretofindbread.us/resources/

If this resonated with you, share it with someone who's still carrying the weight of any type of trauma, but especially betrayal trauma. You're not alone — and healing is possible.

*Connect With Me:*

- Website: https://wheretofindbread.us

- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586913073629

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teri_murrison/

*Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, and SHARE this video to help others heal!* *

🔔 SUBSCRIBE:* https://www.youtube.com/@WheretoFindBread

#BetrayalTrauma #IFSTherapy #TraumaHealing #InternalFamilySystems #EMDRTherapy

You know that dream that keeps coming back? The one where you're running through the hallways of your childhood home, but the walls are closing in and you can't find the door? I had a dream like that for years. Only I never got inside my home. And no one was chasing me. I was outside a closed gate when I yearned to be inside. But my feet were rooted to the ground where I stood. And no one asked me inside.

This 4-minute story is the one I've been building toward—the moment everything shifted. It's longer than usual because some breakthroughs can't be rushed.

In this reel, I'm sharing the therapy session that changed everything. The one where I finally went deep into family of origin work: those patterns we inherit, the roles we play without choosing them, the invisible scripts we've been reading from since we were kids.

Here's what I didn't expect: facing those old wounds wouldn't break me. It would free me. The dream? Gone. The ache? Also gone.

If you've been on the fence about doing this kind of work, if you've been scared of what you might find when you look back, I want you to know: the freedom on the other side is real. You don’t forget the dream or the memory, you just become untouched by its sorrow. The emotion gives way.

Grab your favorite drink, find a quiet spot, and settle in. This one's worth the four minutes. The breakthrough is the payoff. And you deserve that payoff too.

#TherapyJourney #FamilyOfOrigin #BreakthroughMoment #MentalHealthMatters #HealingJourney

Everyone says "just let it go" — but nobody tells you why that's so much harder than it sounds when the trauma lives in your body, not just your mind.

This is the Season 3 premiere of Where to Find Bread, and it's the most vulnerable episode I've made. I finally did the family of origin work I'd been avoiding — and what came out of it shook me.

In this episode I share:

→ Why EMDR therapy (bilateral stimulation) works when talk therapy doesn't

→ An excerpt from a story I wrote to process recurring childhood dreams

→ How "The Body Keeps the Score" cracked open what I couldn't say out loud

→ The moment I realized letting go isn't a decision — it's a process

This is my story. But I have a feeling parts of it are yours too.

⏱ CHAPTERS:

00:00 – Season 3 Begins: Why I Finally Got Help

00:30 – The Family of Origin Work I Kept Avoiding

05:50 – What EMDR Actually Feels Like

07:50 – "The Baby, the Prostitute, and Me" (Original Story)

13:55 – Books That Helped Me Heal

15:25 – What's Coming Next (My Book!)

📚 BOOKS MENTIONED: • The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk • The 5 Second Rule – Mel Robbins • The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook

🍞 GRAB YOUR EBOOK → [https://wheretofindbread.us/product/26-days-of-fresh-bread-coloring-book-journal/]

📩 Join the newsletter → [https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com]

*Please leave a comment:* I read every single one and would love to hear how you are moving forward this week!

*Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, and SHARE this video to help others heal!*

🔗 Connect With Me:*

- Website & Recovery Resources: https://wheretofindbread.us/resources

- Join the Newsletter: Stay updated on new episodes and tools for your toolkit: https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com *

🔔 SUBSCRIBE:* https://www.youtube.com/@WheretoFindBread/

#BetrayalTrauma #TraumaHealing #EMDRTherapy #LettingGo #HealingJourney

Welcome to the 8th episode of "Where to Find Bread" with your host, Teri Murrison.

In Episode 8, I am, some of us are, making a massive pivot! After spending a season discussing the heavy reality of betrayal trauma and healing, sexual addiction, and surviving infidelity, it’s time to step out of the "winter" of survival. This journey to wholeness and overcoming trauma is moving forward!

That said, I realize that some of you are just starting your journey, so, in the meantime, I’ll continue to add to our Surviving season even as I begin charting the 3rd Thriving season!

Whether you are staying, leaving, or still undecided about your relationship, this episode is your invitation to stop focusing on fixing things and start focusing on healing "you." It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving.

*✨ What You Will Learn in This Episode:*

- The Big Pivot: Why I’m adding the topic of addiction recovery to also focus on personal health, resilience, and wholeness.

- Childhood Fragmentation: How early attachment issues and childhood trauma mess with our brains and impact adult relationships.

- Rewiring Your Brain: A sneak peek into Season 3, where we will use art, travel, music, and journaling to build a life you truly love.

Key Takeaways:

A powerful recap of our journey from "Doing It" (Season 1) to "Surviving" (Season 2), and what it means to "Thrive" (Season 3). *

🕒 Video Chapters:*

00:00 - Introduction to Season Three: A New Beginning

02:48 - Moving Forward: Healing, Attachment Issues & Wholeness

05:37 - Key Takeaways from Seasons One and Two

Don't forget to *SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, and SHARE* this video! Let me know in the comments—are you ready for Season 3? *

🔗 Connect With Me & Resources:*

- Website & Recovery Resources: https://wheretofindbread.us/services

- Join the Newsletter: Stay updated on new episodes and tools for your toolkit: https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com

- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586913073629

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teri_murrison/ *

🔔 SUBSCRIBE:* https://www.youtube.com/@WheretoFindBread/featured?sub_confirmation=1

#BetrayalTrauma #HealingFromBetrayal #SurvivingInfidelity #WholenessJourney #OvercomingTrauma #BetrayalRecovery #ChildhoodTraumaHealing #LifeAfterBetrayal #MovingForward #WhereToFindBread

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 7 of "Where to Find Bread." I'm your host, Teri Murrison. Today, we're focusing on "best practices" for the critical moments, days, and months after uncovering your partner's betrayal on Discovery Day, or "D-Day."

If you have just discovered their sexual betrayal or addiction and feel completely overwhelmed, this episode is the survival guide I wish someone had handed me. I dive deep into the raw, practical steps required to get through those first agonizing hours and then the unending parade of days after "trauma brain" takes over.

In this episode, I share my personal list of 12 essential best practices for surviving the initial blows of D-Day and beyond. From managing the urge to react impulsively to conducting what some might consider a "cold-blooded" financial assessment that restores a sense of control, these steps are foundational to finding safety and beginning your betrayal recovery journey.

*What You'll Learn in This Video:*

- Why pausing to breathe and keeping an accurate record is crucial from Day 1

- Actionable ways to release the anger and trauma stored in your body

- How to find the RIGHT trauma-specialized help (via APSATS' online directory) and avoid unhelpful, sometimes harmful, advice

- The importance of establishing true physical, emotional, and spiritual safety

- Why does conducting a detailed financial audit of your prospects put you in a position of strength

- Using your core values to navigate the grieving process and rebuild your identity

*Video Chapters:*

0:00:00 - Intro 0:02:00 - The Day My World Was Blown to Bits

0:03:38 - 1. Breathe: Keep Your Powder Dry

0:04:22 - 2. The Notepad: Keep an Accurate Record

0:05:29 - 3. Vigorous Exercise: Releasing the Rage

0:06:29 - 4. Find the RIGHT Help (APSATS Trained)

0:07:26 - 5. Define Your Physical & Emotional Safety

0:08:31 - 6. Find a Support Group: Isolation is the Enemy

0:09:14 - 7. Insist Your Partner Gets Into a Recovery Group

0:10:18 - 8. A DIY Financial Audit: Evaluate Your Prospects

0:13:38 - 9. Accept the Change & Grieve Your Loss

0:15:34 - 10. Invest In Yourself (For You, Not for Revenge)

0:17:14 - 11. Journal to Memorialize Your Progress

0:18:34 - 12. Decide to Seek a New Reality Or Restore the Old

If you found this conversation insightful, please *subscribe, like, and share* this video! Visit Where to Find Bread for more resources and support on your healing journey. *

🔗 Connect With Us & Resources:*

Find a Trauma-Specialized Therapist: https://www.apsats.org

Find a Betrayal & Beyond Support Group: https://www.puredesire.org Website: https://wheretofindbread.us

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://wheretofindbread.myflodesk.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Where-to-Find-Bread/61586913073629

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teri_murrison

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/2yqn1sb56l7yt0pz09ormvlrizd1cv/_profile *

🔔 SUBSCRIBE:* https://www.youtube.com/@WheretoFindBread/featured?sub_confirmation=1

#betrayaltrauma #infidelityrecovery #survivinginfidelity #affairrecovery #healingfrombetrayal #dday #apsats

Today, we continue our powerful conversation with Bridget C, a Clarity Coach who specializes in guiding partners of sex addicts from a place of confusion and unsafety to stability and clarity.

If you have just discovered your husband's sexual betrayal and feel completely paralyzed by "trauma brain," this episode is for you. We dive deep into the neurobiological response of betrayal, why your brain feels stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, and how you can actively begin to regulate your nervous system to survive the day.

In this raw and practical episode, Bridget provides a step-by-step roadmap to healing. We discuss the critical differences between trauma coaching and clinical counseling, and why establishing true emotional and physical safety is the non-negotiable first step. Bridget also demystifies the highly intimidating "Full Disclosure" process, explaining how to prepare for it, face your worst fears, and use your personal values as a North Star to reclaim your identity.

*What You'll Learn in This Video:*

- How betrayal triggers a neurobiological trauma response in your brain

- The key differences between clinical counseling and clarity coaching

- Actionable grounding techniques to regulate your nervous system

- How to establish physical and emotional safety after discovering infidelity

- Navigating the "Full Disclosure" process and uncovering the whole truth

- How to overcome the shame of betrayal and the stigma of divorce

- Using your core values to rebuild your identity and find post-traumatic growth

*Video Chapters:*

0:00:00 - Intro: Healing the Trauma Brain

0:02:41 - Coaching vs. Counseling in Betrayal Trauma Recovery

0:07:02 - Betrayal's Effect on the Brain & Nervous System Regulation

0:10:52 - The First Step: Establishing True Safety & Boundaries

0:14:21 - Overcoming the Shame of Betrayal and Divorce 0:18:20 - The Full Disclosure Process: Why Truth is the Foundation

0:21:05 - Using Your Values as a North Star to Reclaim Your Identity

0:28:51 - How to Manage Your Worst Fears & Anxiety

0:34:05 - Defining Success in Healing & Your Marriage *

If you found this conversation insightful, please subscribe, like, and share this video! Visit Where to Find Bread for more resources and support on your healing journey.

🔗 Connect With Us & Resources:*

Learn more about it: https://www.empowered-coaching.org/

Website: https://wheretofindbread.us (For recovery resources & counselor referrals)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Where-to-Find-Bread/61586913073629

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teri_murrison

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/2yqn1sb56l7yt0pz09ormvlrizd1cv/_profile *

🔔 SUBSCRIBE:* https://www.youtube.com/@WheretoFindBread/featured?sub_confirmation=1

#betrayaltrauma #infidelity #healingafterbetrayal #betrayaltraumarecovery #sexaddictionrecovery #emotionalabuse #religioustrauma #healingjourney #apsats #wheretofindbread