If you don't listen to this I'm going to blow up the moon.

No pressure.

Oh, you want the tides to go mental or whatever it is that would happen do you? Well, that's on you now mate.

For those of us with a social conscience, this is Episode 98 of Which is the Best, a podcast where Lee Kyle and Sammy Dobsonoffbykergrove decide between things with the same or similar names.

This week Trailers or Trailers. Is an Alabaman house better than a film enticement?

By the way, Sammy was in a trailer once, cos she did a film about dogging.

Lee did the intro and outro by himself by the way, Sammy won't enjoy the content of the outro but, actually, the falsetto was angelic.

"How would you blow the moon up anyway Lee?" You might well wonder "That doesn't sound like a credible threat mate."

With my cock. I'd blow up the moon with my cock.

I'm tired.

Hi, Lee Kyle from Which is the Best podcast is typing this, apologising for at least one of the voices I did during it.

I had a lovely time recording it though, it's Episode 97 and cohost Sammy Dobson was in it too as was her twin or something. Not sure really, it all went a bit unusual.

I think it might have been one of my favourite ever ones though. Or one of the worst ones, it's hard to say sometimes.

Anyway, we definitely decided if meet was better than meat so the remit was very much fulfilled and that's what matters.

Each week, Lee Kyle (The fastest man on Earth) and Sammy Dobson (Used to play bass for Carter USM and, later, Mark Morrison) fly to the moon and record Which is the Best podcast, where they decide between things with the same or similar names.

Some of the things in that intro were a lie.

Episode 96 decides between:

Salsa: Dance

and

Salsa: 3D ketchup

Firetruck: NEE NAH NEE NAH

and

Friar Tuck: Wealth distribution monk.

It's episode 95 of Which is the Best podcast and it's a look back at the first 30 episodes, if you've not tried it, now is the time to take a dip in the shallow waters of our back catalogue.

If you have listened before and liked it, please get a friend to try it.

Highlights include:

The time Lee sailed a 'boat' around the 'Statue of Liberty'

Sammy's Lego fantasy is fulfilled

Best number: 4 or 7?

Sammy went to Beamish...

We rang the woman from the AA, she seemed nice, we felt bad.

The fantasy job Lee has had since 1996.

An actual terrifying ghost.

Thanks for listening!

Lee Kyle and Sammy Dobsonoutofbykergrove

Recorded live in front of a studio (Comedy club) audience like Cheers or The Golden Girls, episode 94 of Which is the Best Podcast (The podcast which decides between things with similar names) is momentous mate. Bloody momentous.

Not content with decideing whether Flash is better than Flash, the hosts (Lee Kyle and Sammy Dobson) finally find out if they are half siblings.

Then, even more importantly, Lee defends the honour of what may or may not be his new sister by racing her boyfriend in a running race.

Can he back up his claims of being surprisingly fast (He actually claims to be the fastest man on Earth but this is unverified) for a fat bloke?

Sorry about the amount of brackets in this blurb by the way (This can't help).

Get a load of this shite, it's the much anticipated 93rd episode of Which is the Best podcast...LIVE!

Yeah, Lee Kyle (NOW OWNS A TRUNDLE WHEEL) and Sammy Dobson (Can borrow the trundle wheel if she asks nicely and promises to look after it) do what they always do (Decide between stuff with similar names) only this time they are sat on a stage with balloons on it.

Can't really remember what happened but they definitely decided between:

Hand: (Arm foot)

and

Hand: (Lending a)

It was lots of fun for people who enjoy the kind of thing that this is.

SPOILER, they have invented a brand new type of height.

This is episode 92 of Which Is The Best podcast. The rest of this description will be written without vowells, which is a ridiculous thing to do, especially considering that next Sunday is our live show (At The Stand in Newcastle at 3pm) and we need to sell tickets.

Nywy, ch wk, L Kyl (Bg ft L) and Smmy Dbsn (Bykr Grv) mt nd dcd 'whch s th bst?' btwn thngs f the sm r smlr nms.

Ths wk:

Schndlrs Lst (Flm wth balln n t)

r

Schdlrs lfts (lvtr cmpny)

nd

Vc (Thng y knw y shldnt d bt d)

r

Vc (tl fr grppng thngs)

Pls: L tlks bt hs nw fd wth hs frmr hr Ptr Brdsly nd Smmy hs bn bck t Bmsh.

Episode 91 of Which is the Best podcast might be the most niche episode we've done.

What it is is this: Sammy Dobson is one of the two hosts of it (Lee Kyle is the other) and on Thursday she was in the BBC soap opera Doctors playing a woman who is inexplicably angry at a deaf woman for using sign language.

So, to celebrate, Lee and Sammy have recorded a commentary that can be listened to at the same time as the episode should you choose to watch it along on iPlayer.

It's probably an episode that you can still enjoy without accompanying viewing. Is it? Maybe, not sure.

As a sop to our remit, we do start with one of our patented decisions, as we decide Which Is The Best between:

Hugh - Men called Hugh

or

Hue - Colour

That bit is pretty rushed though.

Come see us live if you want. We at The Stand in Newcastle at 4pm on 15th October.

Sorry for fucking swearing everyone but this is episode fucking 90 of Which is the Best fucking podcast and, as every fucking fan of anniversaries knows, the 90th is when you get your spouse some fucking swearing.

It's a fucking tradition.

This fucking week, Sammy Dobson (Played a Doctor in I, Daniel fucking Blake) and Lee Kyle (Played a henchman on Nanny McfuckingPhee) decide between:

PAPAL: The pope's stuff like that fucking hat he wears and his fucking massive chapel.

and

PAYPAL: Fucking Paypal, you know what fucking Paypal is man.

Also, Lee fucking bangs on about his new theory about the 90s hit Mr fucking Vain. Long story fucking short, Culture Beat are serial killers.

Come to our live show at The fucking Stand in Newcastle on the fucking 15th October if you fucking like. It's a 4 fucking PM.

Sorry for all the swearing, it has brung me no pleasure to do it.

I tell you what Donald Trump hates, he HATES Which is the Best podcast. He bloody hates it.

He'd be furious if you listened to it.

There, that should do it.

This week (Episode 89) Lee Kyle and Sammy Dobson decide WHICH IS THE BEST between the following similarly named things:

Courtly love:

A highly conventionalized medieval tradition of love between a knight and a married noblewoman.

and

Courtney Love:

Not definitely a murderer.

Come see us live at The Stand in Newcastle on 15th October at 4pm if you like.