While We're Still Here

Whitney is a Grief Recovery Specialist who uses the Grief Recovery Method to help people move through grief for themselves as well as be better listeners to those sharing their grief. Whitney herself described wanting to ‘love better’ as a result of participating in the program, then went on to become a Specialist. Whitney mentioned the program can teach how to process emotions. We talk about how difficult it can be for people to hear the grief and sadness of others and may use some ‘myths’ about how to ‘get over it’, or ‘move on’. 

 Listen around 42:03 for a surprising block to sharing. Keep listening to hear about other ways we cause people to stop sharing or feel unheard. 

 You can reach Whitney at [email protected]

To find a Grief Recovery Specialist in your area, go to https://griefrecoverymethod.com, click on the blue heart, then enter your zip code or city. 

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
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Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

When you have lost someone you care about, it's natural to feel sad, lonely, long for their presence, etc. This is a normal part of grief. When your sadness affects your daily life, your work, or the way you interact with others, for a prolonged period, it may be time to check in with yourself to see if your grief has reached a point of needing to get some help or support. If you or someone you care about is struggling, reach out for help. I list several types of prolonged grief or complicated grief to help identify when normal grief may shift into something disabling to daily life.
Call 988 or other hotlines to talk to someone about your grief or get advice for a friend.

Wendy Wisner, writer
https://verywellmind.com

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

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Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

This episode is about loss and grief. I share some of my losses that I had not considered until venturing into 'what is grief'.  Some unexpected items came up for me. So now what? I have some work to do. 

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

Grief is described as deep sorrow. As a human, living on Planet Earth, I would say grief cannot be avoided. 
Grief comes from loss. We all will suffer loss at some point in our life. 
End of life planning is not intended to avoid grief; rather, making and discussing your end of life plan helps you to live your life more fully. This happens because conversation begins, the idea of forgiveness presents itself, and engaging in final conversations or making sure to say 'I love you' can bring a sense of comfort and/or peace at the end of life. Joy and peace can take the place of uncertainty or anguish. You may get to hear some wonderful sentiments from those you most care about or share some wonderful memories together. 

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

It's been said that animals communicate to us. You've likely had experiences of this communication yourself. When we talk about The Good Death, however, would we think of our pets? 
As my husband and I made our way through an animal farm, he asked whether the farm actually could be a refuge. Then I wondered whether the animals were rescued from predators or poachers, which then led to thoughts about The Good Death. 
My story contains three animals who died differently, and I don't know for sure whether they all went in peace. 

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

He's not nuts. He misses his daughter. Listen to how he feels connected to her. 

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

That elephant I mentioned a few weeks ago? Not only is it in the room: it is roaring! What is forgiveness? Does forgiveness mean that I have to trust the person who violated me? What is my role in forgiveness? What will it get me? 
You may not want to relive pain in order to forgive. I get it. Forgiveness may be just the thing that sets you free. Free from bitterness, resentment, etc. It does not erase your grief. It can open the door to healthy boundaries.
I am not a grief counselor, nor do I claim to be an expert of any kind. I do not suggest anyone who has been violated should confront the violator. In many cases, to do so would be unwise and unsafe. 

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

VSED, or voluntary stopping of eating and drinking, is legal in all 50 states. It is not considered suicide. Why do people choose this option, and how can this manner of dying be more comfortable and peaceful?
Suzanne O'Brien, RN, has thoughts that I will share.
Judith Schwarz, RN, Ph.D., also has shared her thoughts on VSED.
I have my thoughts, too, and included them for you in this episode.

And what about life insurance? Does it cover VSED or MAID?
 
If you want more information, check out
https://vsedresources.com/
https://www.compassionandchoices.org/our-issues/vsed

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

People wanting to die to end their suffering or 'to not be a burden' is not new to society. The options to hasten death, while controversial, are growing. States are hearing from groups and organizations as well as citizens who want the choice to end their life when they want to do so, not necessarily at their natural end of life. But, is this method actually 'natural'? The Final Exit Network says Yes.
Consider this: Dr. Sally Hall mentioned that people with dementia who choose this end-of-life option ‘leave some life on the table';  but, wouldn’t anyone leave some life on the table when choosing to hasten their death? Is that the point of choosing this option?
The Hemlock Society offers a "speedy, comfortable, certain solution" to end 'physical suffering or impending loss of selfhood'.

https://www.hemlocksocietysandiego.org/
https://finalexitnetwork.org/
Jean’s Way, book by Derek Humphry
Final Exit,  book by Derek Humphry

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]

Ruben and I have been friends for awhile. I knew his mother was ill and when she died I offered prayers of comfort for his loss. What I did not know was how his mother died. I was sorry I hadn't moved in closer to him at that time of his life. He talks about that time with me today, seeming to be in what I felt is a place of calm peace over the loss. That does not mean he is no longer grieving. 
approx 10:23-He mentioned the 'stairway of grief', where he and his siblings would go to cry together. He mentioned that 'grief is the cost of love'. Ruben's story is important, thoughtful and loving for his mother. 
approx 32:00-Ruben shows us how to have 'a celebration while living'. 
In our pre-interview, Ruben mentioned the book "Our Greatest Gift: A Meditation on Dying and Caring", by Henri Nouwen. 
Ruben also mentioned the book by Robert K. Greenleaf, "The Servant Leader".
Thanks Ruben!!!! 

Have questions? Send me a message!

Listen and learn about death doula work: https://whilewerestillhere.com 
Reach me at [email protected]

Facebook: While We're Still Here

Starting with Episode 56, the episode music was added. It was composed, produced and provided by Kyle Bray specifically for this show. Reach out to me if you want the score. 
The logo artwork was provided by Maddie's Plush Pouch - [email protected]