Whiskey And Whiskers

I know you. You're the guy that passes out on the couch with a McRib laying on your chest, a drink in your hand, and Animaniacs on the TV. Welcome to the family bro! You are among friends here. 

Fuck, you guys are needy. Constantly with this 'whERe iS my ePIsoDe." Look, we take the time every single week to make the greatest podcast on the planet. Then we come in next week and outdo ourselves. Perfection takes time.*

*Chop was a hungover sack of ass-balls this weekend. Please forgive me. 

I thought I had those North-Korean Pole-Vaulting genes, or perhaps those Cheese Rolling, fall-down-a-hill genes, but after doing a DNA test, it turns out i'm part Neanderthal, and part garden gnome. Oh well.

Robot, fetch me a soda, and find my phone, cuz this is an episode to catch right here.

Cranberry sauce is fucking whack. Fuck you Gator. It's all about getting your guts rammed by a radioactive turkey then passing out with the meat sweats while you watch football. But for real, listen to Allice's resteraunt... restraunt... restaraunt... fuck it just listen to it. Start a tradition, get together with friend and family, and enjoy the holidays.

You know what, in hindsight... Start a new tradition and just listen to us.

Fucking turkey day. Here we go. Look, I don't care how alpha you think you are, you nothin' but a lil' bitch when a corn fed midwestern turkey walks up on you. Unless you are one of those motherfuckers that wear full suits of armor and break the other guys faces with dull swords and shit. 

You know what grinds my gears? Chaps my ass? Gives me a case of the reds? Everybody's got something that pisses them the fuck off. So we are going to put our foot down and do something about it. Mostly bitch.

Fucking mobile games, double youtube ads, clickbate, or yahoos talking about getting kicked in the dick. The world wide web is a fucked off place. But, don't worry. The boys are here to save it.

Bad bitches everywhere. You want fucking Ninjas? Schoolgirls? Steampunk train explosions? Mind-fuck Sci-fi Nazi killing robot hacker strippers? Boy have we got the movie for you.

Politics is not our game. We like to shoot whiskey, talk about dicks and buttholes, and ponder the inevitable heat death of the universe. But, because of the political climate right now I think we need to talk about a couple things. First of all, why are some hangovers productive? Why are crossbows okay? But most importantly, we need to talk about a certain House of Representing seat from the great state.

It's motherfucking STEVE, our resident MF UFC expert. Some crazy shit went down with those fights so there's a lot to unpack. Oh yeah, also some fucking guys were playing competitive catch or something.