After receiving our first shipment of used condoms we learned the factory got shut down for not following proper used condom best practices. Could be worse, Gumby could be trying to give you night terrors because you play too many fucking video games you dick.

Keira Knightly's tits... IJS

I blacked out and blew out my bitch bot while on a bender and bet my balls I buried a bottle of bourbon for breakfast. Turned out it was scotch. Fuck it. 

Buffalo bro takes over senate. You ever wake up hungover with one shoe and realize you crashed the senate last night?

We used our covid cash to dodge a DUI in the new 2500. Even though it keeps our ghetto gas station burritos warm, there still isn't a good spot to hide the crack pipes. 

It's that time of the year again where we evaluate our degenerate lives and recommit to those activities that make us who we are. Whether its binge drinking sodas or bargain buying cigarettes we are working on wise choices for 2021.

Space Force Guardians are rebooting Firefly and its the last of the X-Mas fails. Good thing we have all of this money from winning a porno mag lawsuit. Mr. Bucket, you may have been promoted, but Gator is still the lil orange bro. Bitch. 

Everyone has there favorite Christmas songs, but ours are a little bit different. You know them, you love them, and God forbid you get cancelled for them.

It's Christmas time again lads. Merry, merry, and a hoe, hoe, hoe to you all.

You know, when Chop talks about something other than PlayStation.