Whiskey And Whiskers

power rangers are narcs, but when you're out there slappin deities make sure you have a shovel in case there's alligators. 

Boxer briefs are the way to be. When the Tupperware avalanche leads to a laundry strike, you better hope hangin with W doesn't get you microwaved from space. 

Chicken puppies be marrying people. Literally nothing important. But that Zelensky's a bitch.

There's nothing like AppleHop after banging a thousand dudes, but you might get pregnant. Better than being bald in mozambique. Feed your kids Ozempic so they too can unalive home invaders.

Grab your bag of taco bell and sit down for an episode of Alaskan Bush People on XVideos. Make sure to wear your black socks with your dress Crocs. So you can rent a horse and F*ck sink sluts.

White people can use Japanese toilets and hack sex-toys, but they shouldn't mess with peyote. 

We're starting the drunk racing league. There's gonna be a bunch of old alcoholics with prostate issues, and racing chiks with c-section scars. you're gonna have a time.

We're slingin semi-s in the sasquatch sanctuary city, and crushing cold chicken nugs in the costo casa.

Just don't forget to turn off the livestream. You don't wanna wake up to a cali-fire from exploding Stanleys.

During dry january, don't get scammed by Keanu on the dark-web. Just trade your playstations for guns and we'll ride dirtbikes. 

Water-boarding is as addictive as Affrin. We're using cell-phone jammers to survive the apocalypse at your mom's house. Caffeine is bad, so drink a bang and enjoy the halftime show.