Yen is laying low with Cahir, Triss is making awkward passes at Geralt, Jaskier’s writing angry breakup songs, and we’re here to savor every moment of season two’s deeply satisfying fourth episode...as well as a bottle of Blinking Owl California Straight Rye Whiskey. Speaking of owls, we both get pretty excited over Dijkstra, but what’s with his mysterious pet? Surely there’s nothing at all odd about that, right?

Ciri’s training begins in earnest and it doesn’t go down nearly as smoothly as the Slane Irish Whiskey we sip while discussing it. Valerie feels confident she can take on the pendulum (but the rest of the gauntlet...not so much) while Tim discovers a Witcher ship name he actually likes. Also, Valerie gives us a dramatic reading from Blood of Elves! But don’t get too excited, it’s about a dead rat.

What’s the one thing that goes better with whiskey than Witcher? Ice cream, apparently. In our latest side quest, we sample Garrison Brothers Whiskey & Pecan Pralines ice cream, a limited release from McConnell’s that’s made from actual Texas bourbon. It’s delicious, but so is the conversation that accompanies it, which touches on everything from our favorite ice cream flavors to what sort of desserts you’re likely to find in fantasy worlds to which Kaer Morhen witcher would be most fun to drink with. Plus, Tim has a full-on freak-out! Over what? Listen to the episode and find out!

“We’re so excited that we’re finally getting to meet other witchers like Vesemir, Lambert, Coen and Eskel—WAIT, WHAT?!?!” Yeah, we’re as surprised as the rest of you about the fate of Geralt’s witcher bro in this head-scratcher of an episode, so we’re cracking open a bottle of William Wolf Pecan Bourbon to see if we can figure it out. While we’re at it, we share our thoughts on the Deathless Mother, the return of the elves, Geralt’s parenting, the wisdom of leaving Kaer Morhen on your own and the importance of always cleaning your sword.

Grab a glass, Witcher fans, because this one’s all about the booze. After our talk about how this week’s whiskey, WhistlePig Piggyback Rye, was designed for cocktails, we decided to try it out in one! Producer Sean mixes up some Sazeracs while giving us a brief history on the drink. Then it’s time for some freewheeling discussion on everything from cocktail prices to Witcher fandom to why Tim and Valerie just won’t ever agree on absinthe.

We’re finally diving into The Witcher’s second season and we couldn’t be more excited…or maybe that’s the WhistlePig PiggyBack Rye that accompanies this episode talking. We both scratch our heads over Triss Merigold’s oddly unexplained new hairstyle, Tim can’t handle the sight of sad Tissaia and Valerie has a few words of advice for the otherwise badass Vereena. Plus, a new final segment!

For this week’s side quest, we’re giving you an extended version of a previous segment—Valerie’s discussion on finishing The Witcher III: The Wild Hunt. Our podcast may focus on the Netflix series, but we’re big fans of the game as well, which offered us both an escape and a chance to connect with each other during the pandemic. And to randomly fall off of ledges. SPOILER ALERT: We do discuss two of the game’s three endings, so proceed with caution if you haven’t yet played it.

In The Witcher III: The Wild Hunt, side quests are brief missions that have nothing to do with the game’s main storyline, which seemed like a pretty good way of describing the brief bonus episodes we’ll be dropping between full episodes every now and then. In this first side quest, we answer some questions from one of our listeners (thanks for the e-mail, Karen!). Then it’s time to humble ourselves as we come clean about some names we’ve been mispronouncing before Valerie gives us a brief history of fanshipping that, while very interesting, doesn’t make Tim like the name “Geraskier” any better.

We often get pretty animated while talking about The Witcher, so it’s about dang time The Witcher follows suit! In our latest episode, we open a bottle of Willett Pot Still Reserve Bourbon and discuss The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf. Tim questions whether this movie counts as anime, while Valerie wonders why the mages don’t just...well, magic themselves out of there. Plus, we cower at the Trial of the Grasses, discuss some ties the movie may have to a unique book in the Witcher series and offer up our hopes and dreams for the next Witcher animated project!

We celebrate reaching the end of season one with an extra-sized (and extra boozy) episode. Valerie questions the use of death mages, Tim wonders what exactly Tissaia and Vilgefortz think they’re doing and both of them drink a few too many Fireball boilermakers. Plus, we speculate about Witcher: Blood Origin, reveal our plans for the future and pick our perfect monster pets!