With Ciri’s situation turning serious and the Deathless Mother looking strong, we knew we needed a whiskey to match—so, we crack open a bottle of 120-proof Knob Creek Single Barrel Select Bourbon. With a whiskey that powerful, our survival this episode, much like that of Nilfgaard’s generals, is not guaranteed. But if we go down, you know it won’t be until after we’ve thoroughly critiqued Cahir’s bad allyship, Jaskier’s poor choice of bathwater and Voleth Meir’s completely bonkers plan. Plus, Valerie has words for Geralt, Tim has words for Vilgefortz and they both have words that they aren’t quite able to pronounce.

We received another listener question, which can only mean one thing—it’s time for another side quest! We’ve talked about our favorite Witcher ships a lot and we don’t see a reason to stop now, but this time, we’re keeping everyone’s hands, arms and lips to themselves as we discuss platonic ships. Who do we think are better off staying strictly friends? And what Witcher friendships would we like to see explored more? After that, we sound off on the latest season three casting news...which wasn’t without its controversy. And you know we’re going to have a whole lot to say about that as well.

Butchers aren’t the only things left burning when Jaskier and Yennefer come face to face with the fire-wielding Rience. So, it only makes sense that we’ve paired this episode up with the smokey sophistication of Stark Spirits’ Peated Single Malt Whiskey! Tim attempts to dissect one of his least favorite Witcher short stories, while Valerie has some words for Vesemir and his freaky-ass mutagen needle. Producer Sean invents a new way of rating whiskey, and we share a Kaer Moron for the first time this season. Who might it be?

In our latest side quest, we go hard speculating about some of the recent Witcher announcements. First, we unpack the newly unveiled Season 3 description and try to determine what it all might be referring to. After that, we discuss the recently announced new Witcher game, while schooling Tim on lynxes. (And he calls himself a cat person!) Finally, Valerie turns the tables on her co-host by asking him a few things about shipping because if the show won’t give us any fun sexy moments to talk about, we’ll make up our own, dammit.

Yen is laying low with Cahir, Triss is making awkward passes at Geralt, Jaskier’s writing angry breakup songs, and we’re here to savor every moment of season two’s deeply satisfying fourth episode...as well as a bottle of Blinking Owl California Straight Rye Whiskey. Speaking of owls, we both get pretty excited over Dijkstra, but what’s with his mysterious pet? Surely there’s nothing at all odd about that, right?

Ciri’s training begins in earnest and it doesn’t go down nearly as smoothly as the Slane Irish Whiskey we sip while discussing it. Valerie feels confident she can take on the pendulum (but the rest of the gauntlet...not so much) while Tim discovers a Witcher ship name he actually likes. Also, Valerie gives us a dramatic reading from Blood of Elves! But don’t get too excited, it’s about a dead rat.

What’s the one thing that goes better with whiskey than Witcher? Ice cream, apparently. In our latest side quest, we sample Garrison Brothers Whiskey & Pecan Pralines ice cream, a limited release from McConnell’s that’s made from actual Texas bourbon. It’s delicious, but so is the conversation that accompanies it, which touches on everything from our favorite ice cream flavors to what sort of desserts you’re likely to find in fantasy worlds to which Kaer Morhen witcher would be most fun to drink with. Plus, Tim has a full-on freak-out! Over what? Listen to the episode and find out!

“We’re so excited that we’re finally getting to meet other witchers like Vesemir, Lambert, Coen and Eskel—WAIT, WHAT?!?!” Yeah, we’re as surprised as the rest of you about the fate of Geralt’s witcher bro in this head-scratcher of an episode, so we’re cracking open a bottle of William Wolf Pecan Bourbon to see if we can figure it out. While we’re at it, we share our thoughts on the Deathless Mother, the return of the elves, Geralt’s parenting, the wisdom of leaving Kaer Morhen on your own and the importance of always cleaning your sword.

Grab a glass, Witcher fans, because this one’s all about the booze. After our talk about how this week’s whiskey, WhistlePig Piggyback Rye, was designed for cocktails, we decided to try it out in one! Producer Sean mixes up some Sazeracs while giving us a brief history on the drink. Then it’s time for some freewheeling discussion on everything from cocktail prices to Witcher fandom to why Tim and Valerie just won’t ever agree on absinthe.