Who The F*ck Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

From Netflix’s Love Is Blind Season 1 to a journey of self-discovery, Kelly Chase joins me for an honest conversation about love, relationships, and the unconscious patterns that keep us repeating the same experiences.

We talk about what really happened behind the scenes of Love Is Blind, the difference between loving someone and loving their potential, and why we sometimes find ourselves chasing the very people who aren't choosing us.

Kelly opens up about self-abandonment, learning to recognize the stories we've been carrying for years, and what it actually takes to break old patterns and start making different choices.

In this episode, we explore:

• The reality of finding love on Love Is Blind
• Why we fall in love with potential instead of reality
• The unconscious beliefs driving our relationship patterns
• How the need to be chosen can lead to self-abandonment
• Why awareness alone doesn't always create change
• Breaking cycles in love, business, and life
• Learning to trust yourself and choose differently

Because sometimes the biggest transformation isn't finding someone who chooses you. It's realizing you can choose yourself.

Connect with Kelly Chase:

Instagram: @chaselifewithkelly

Podcast: @chaselifewithkellypodcast

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to:  Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

Membership link and my Discount Code for TBM 

• JESSICA6850 - 15% off for up to 1 year
• To Be Magnetic - Membership

If you have any questions that you'd like advice please send a DM to the podcast instagram page. 

Why do we want to be chosen so badly? And why is it that the second someone doesn’t choose us… sometimes we want them even more?

In this episode, we’re breaking down the need to be wanted, picked, loved, and validated—and how that need can quietly start changing the way we show up, what we accept, and even what we think we want.

In this episode, we cover:

• The three sneaky “self-sabotage ninjas” that show up when we want to be chosen: The Performer, The Negotiator & The Chaser
• The difference between actually wanting someone and wanting them to want you
• “The Gray”—the uncomfortable space between who you were and who you’re becoming
• How to use rejection, disappointment, and that chip on your shoulder as fuel for growth
• Why self-worth is a muscle—and the small reps that teach you how to choose yourself

The goal isn’t to never want to be chosen. We all want to be loved, wanted, and appreciated.

It’s getting to a place where being chosen becomes a want—not a need.

Because when you stop waiting for someone else to confirm your worth, you get to make your decisions from a completely different place.

Choose yourself. And watch what happens. ❤️

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading 

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

Get Your Human Design Chart

Membership link and my Discount Code for TBM 

• JESSICA6850 - 15% off for up to 1 year
• To Be Magnetic - Membership

If you have any questions that you'd like advice please send a DM to the podcast instagram page. 

In this episode, we’re talking about the power of perspective, what healthy optimism actually looks like, and why two people can experience nearly identical circumstances and create completely different lives from them. We’ll also unpack the trap of believing your current reality is your only reality—and how getting to the root of your patterns can help you change the story from there. 

In this episode, we talk about:

•  Why your perspective can determine what happens after something happens to you 
•  The difference between happiness and healthy optimism—and why optimism doesn’t mean ignoring difficult emotions 
•  How rejection, setbacks, endings, and detours can become information instead of evidence that you’re failing 
•  Why you have more agency in the direction of your life than you may realize 
• The Recipe: past episodes to help you uncover the roots of pessimism, self-criticism, old beliefs, survival patterns, and the stories keeping you stuck: 
  • Ep. 9: It's Not Rejection. It's Redirection & Protection
  • Ep. 12: Importance of Your Personal Board of Directors (and How to Choose the Right People)
  • Ep. 21: What's Your Inner Child and How to Spot When it's in the "Drivers' Seat"
  • Ep. 23: How to Communicate Better - with Others and Yourself
  • Ep. 24: The Mirror Effect - Why People Trigger You (and What it's Really Showing You)

Shape your environment. Rewrite your story. Create a new perspective so that you can become who the fuck you want to be when you grow up. ❤️

 Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

Get Your Human Design Chart

Membership link and my Discount Code for TBM 

• JESSICA6850 - 15% off for up to 1 year
• To Be Magnetic - Membership

If you have any questions that you'd like advice please send a DM to the podcast instagram page. 

Healing doesn't end when you become aware of your patterns.

At some point, you reach a new chapter where you're no longer just understanding why you've lived in survival mode, but learning how to live beyond it. In this episode, we talk about what happens after the healing work begins to take root: releasing control, regulating your nervous system, pulling your energy back into the present, and reconnecting with the version of you that feels safe enough to simply be. 

In this episode, we cover:

•  Why surrender isn't just a mindset shift, it's a nervous system shift. 
•  How survival mode quietly steals your energy by keeping you stuck in the past or worrying about the future. 
•  What a healthy nervous system actually looks like (hint: it isn't never feeling stressed). 
•  How parts work helps your protective patterns soften instead of running your life. 
•  Why your gifts, creativity, and purpose naturally emerge when your body no longer believes it has to survive. 

If you've been doing the inner work and wondering, "Okay...now what?" this episode is for you. The goal isn't becoming someone new. It's creating enough safety within yourself that the person you've always been finally has room to come forward.

Videos mentioned:

3 Somatic Exercises to Start Your Day

Malinois - Handshake Weapon

Malinois Attack Training

Episodes mentioned:

Astrology 101 - What You Need to Know

The Truth About Desperation Energy

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

Get Your Human Design Chart

Membership link and my Discount Code for TBM 

• JESSICA6850 - 15% off for up to 1 year
• To Be Magnetic - Membership

We've all heard about healing our inner child but that's only half the story. 

In this episode, we're exploring the side of your inner child that doesn't get talked about nearly enough: the part that holds your curiosity, imagination, natural gifts, and the clues to what truly lights you up. Together, we'll uncover how conditioning pulls us away from our authentic selves, why reconnecting with your childhood interests matters more than ever, and simple ways to begin remembering the version of you that existed before the world told you who to be.

In This Episode We Cover:

• Why we naturally lose touch with the best parts of our inner child as we grow up.
• How childhood conditioning shapes our beliefs, identity, and sense of what's "possible."
• Practical ways to reconnect with your curiosity, creativity, and authentic interests.
• Why your childhood passions may hold the biggest clues to your purpose and fulfillment.
• How to stop living for other people's expectations and start creating a life that genuinely lights you up.

Our inner child doesn't just carry our wounds, it also the key to our happiness and our natural gifts.

Resources Mentioned:

• Ep. 2: To Be Magnetic

20 Journal prompts to Rediscover Your Inner Child

Your inner child isn't only where your wounds began.

It's also where your curiosity, joy, creativity, imagination, and natural gifts first showed themselves.

As you work through these questions, don't worry about finding the "right" answer. Instead, notice what memories, emotions, or themes continue to surface. Often, our purpose leaves breadcrumbs long before we recognize them.

1.    What activities made you completely lose track of time as a child?

2.    What did you pretend to be when you played?
(Teacher, athlete, artist, entrepreneur, veterinarian, performer, scientist, parent, explorer...)

3.    What were you naturally curious about?
What topics could you ask endless questions about?

4.    What did adults often compliment you on

5.    What did your friends or siblings naturally come to you for?

6.    If no one could judge you, what would you spend more time doing today?

7.    What parts of yourself have you slowly edited to fit in or be accepted?

8.    What dreams have you labeled as "unrealistic" that still quietly live inside you?

9.    When and what are you doing when you feel most like yourself?

10.  What brings you genuine joy—not because you're productive, but simply because you enjoy it?

11.   Looking back, what themes seem to repeat throughout your life?
(People, interests, careers, hobbies, conversations, books, experiences.)

12.  If your childhood self met you today, what would they be proud of?

13.  What do you think would surprise or disappoint your younger self about the way you're currently living?

14.  What have you always been drawn toward, even if you've never pursued it professionally?

15.  Where in your life do you feel the most alive?

16.  What beliefs about yourself do you think belong to your authentic self...and which ones were learned from other people?

17.   What does your inner child wish you would make more time for?

18.  If your life wasn't driven by fear, obligation, or other people's expectations, what would change first?

19. What qualities did you naturally embody as a child that you'd like to welcome back into your life?
(Curiosity, playfulness, confidence, creativity, wonder, kindness, imagination, courage...)

 
20. Finish this sentence without overthinking it:

"If I stopped holding myself back, I would….”

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to:  Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

Membership link and my Discount Code for TBM 

• JESSICA6850 - 15% off for up to 1 year
• To Be Magnetic - Membership

If you have any questions that you'd like advice please send a DM to the podcast instagram page. 

Dating has become more complicated than ever... but maybe it doesn't have to be.

In this episode of The Love Series, I'm joined by Love Coach Valerie Adams for an honest conversation about what actually creates healthy relationships. From mindset and self-worth to how to handle breadcrumb texts, the importance of standards, being emotional available, and the patterns that quietly keep us stuck... we cover it ALL.

Whether you're actively dating, healing from heartbreak, or you're now preparing for the right relationship, this conversation will leave you looking at love through a completely different lens. In this episode, we discuss:

•  Why we often block the very love we're asking for and how to recognize it. 
•  How your mindset, standards, and self-worth shape the relationships you attract.
•  What's important to women in dating vs. what's important to men
•  Why and how to stop settling for inconsistent behavior. 
•  Practical dating advice for building healthy, lasting love without abandoning yourself along the way. 

Love isn't just about finding the right person, it's about becoming someone who can recognize, receive, and build a healthy relationship when it arrives. If you've ever questioned your dating patterns, ignored red flags, or wondered why love feels harder than it should, this conversation is for you.

Valeries Instagram

Valerie's TikTok 

Free 30 Journaling Prompts to Attract an Emotionally Available Man:

Securely Chosen Course 

Book 1:1 Breakthrough Session with Valerie

Enter JESSICA50 at checkout for $50 off

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

Get Your Human Design Chart

Membership link and my Discount Code for TBM 

• JESSICA6850 - 15% off for up to 1 year
• To Be Magnetic - Membership

If this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone who's navigating dating, healing, or preparing for the relationship they truly deserve.

<3

What if the season before love arrives is actually preparing you for the relationship you've been asking for?

Growth doesn't stop while you're waiting. Sometimes the most important chapters of your love story are the ones that happen long before someone else enters the picture.

In the first chapter of The Love Series, I share what this season of dating has been teaching me, not from the finish line, but while I'm still living it. We explore what it means to raise your standards, trust what people consistently show you, and stop filling in the blanks with the story you hope is true.

Inside this chapter, we explore:

•  Why becoming the right person often comes before finding the right person. 
•  How to stop falling in love with potential and start believing what people consistently show you. 
•  Why chemistry can make us overlook the very things that matter most in a healthy relationship. 
•  The subtle ways we embellish the story and how that keeps us attached to who someone could be instead of who they are. 
•  How to stay hopeful without settling while your own love story is still being written. 

Every love story is written one chapter at a time. I hope this one reminds you that the chapters before "the right person" are just as important as the ones that come after.

Next week, Valerie Adams joins me for Part Two of The Love Series as we explore what finding the right person actually looks like and how to date in a way that aligns with the life you're trying to build.

Valerie Adams Instagram: @themindfulbabe - Valerie Adams IG

TBM Episode

Authorities Episode

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading
Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

What if the reason you're holding yourself back has nothing to do with confidence?

Many of us want to be seen, heard, and successful—but our nervous system may still believe visibility isn't safe. In this episode, we explore how your subconscious quietly protects you from the very life you're trying to create, and why procrastination, perfectionism, and overthinking are often forms of self-protection.

In this episode we discuss: 

•  Why being seen can feel unsafe—even when you consciously want it.
• How your subconscious and nervous system work together to keep you "safe."
• Why procrastination, perfectionism, and overthinking are protective responses.
• The connection between visibility, vulnerability, and personal growth.
• How to create enough internal safety to fully express who you are.

The life you want may not require more confidence—it may require helping your nervous system believe it's finally safe to be seen.

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kassie Sorokach, founder of Divine Integrative Wellness & Aesthetics, professor, and Doctor of Acupuncture and Chinese Herbal Medicine, to explore a broader perspective on wellness. Together, we discuss how ancient healing traditions and modern approaches can work alongside one another, and why understanding your options may be one of the most empowering things you can do for your health.

Whether you're curious about acupuncture, Chinese medicine, stress, energy, healing, or simply expanding your perspective on what's possible, this conversation invites you to think differently about the relationship between your body and overall well-being.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The foundations of Traditional Chinese Medicine
• How stress impacts the body and overall health
• The connection between energy, emotions, and physical symptoms
• Why a holistic approach doesn't have to conflict with conventional medicine

If you've ever felt like there might be more to the health conversation than what you've been taught, this episode is for you.

Dr. Kassie Sorokach IG

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50

If you’ve ever felt like you were gripping too tightly to an outcome… this episode is for you.

Whether it’s relationships, dating, career success, social media growth, money, validation, or simply wanting life to go a certain way — desperation energy changes how we move through the world. And the truth is, desperation is rarely about the thing itself. Underneath it is usually fear, scarcity, outsourced self-worth, and the pressure we place on outcomes to determine how we feel about ourselves.

In this episode, Jessica breaks down the psychology, nervous system patterns, energetic dynamics, and mindset shifts behind desperation energy — and why learning to insource your worth changes everything. 

•  The hidden fear underneath desperation 
•  Why people can FEEL your energy 
•  Outsourcing vs insourcing your worth 
•  Scarcity mindset and survival mode 
•  Thoughts > feelings > reality creation 

This episode will help you understand why forcing never works, why pressure pushes things away, and how shifting your internal state changes the way you experience relationships, opportunities, confidence, and life itself.

Becoming Supernatural - Joe Dispenza

Podcast Instagram: @whothef.ck

Podcast host:  @jess.ica.lee

Click here to: Work with Jessica 1:1 or get your Human Design reading

Use coupon code for $50 off : PODCAST50