You can’t always change the people around you – but you can change who you choose to be around.

Welcome back to the NLP UK Training podcast! Hosted by NLP Trainers Steve Kay and Kali Fraser from NLPUKTraining.com – a leading provider of NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner certification in the UK.

In this episode, Steve and Kali explore a question most of us never stop to ask: who are you spending your time with, and how is it shaping your energy? Steve shares a vivid story from returning to the UK after five weeks of NLP trainers’ training in Las Vegas – stepping onto an airport transfer bus and, for the first time, really noticing the low-level hum of grumbling he’d been deaf to his whole life. That contrast – five weeks of positivity followed by a wall of mumbling Brummies – became a turning point.

From there, they dig into how personal growth can sharpen your radar for the “mood hoovers” around you, why trying to change other people is a dead end, and how deliberately surrounding yourself with positive, solution-focused people quietly raises your own game. They also explore Paul McKenna’s advice about celebrating the success of others rather than knocking them – and how that simple shift lifts you just as much as them.

But this isn’t about toxic positivity. Steve and Kali draw a careful line: being around upbeat people isn’t about dependency or needing a support network to prop you up. It’s about putting your own mask on first, taking responsibility for your own energy, and then choosing to spend time with people who face problems with a “what can we do about it?” attitude rather than a sigh. If you’ve been tolerating energy-drainers at work or at home – or if you’ve never stopped to ask whether you’re the one lifting people up or pulling them down – this is ten minutes well spent.

In this episode, Steve and Kali discuss:

• Why personal development makes negativity harder to ignore
• The difference between needing a support network and choosing your circle
• How to respond to other people’s success (and why it matters for your energy)
• A simple question to ask yourself: am I the energiser or the drain?