Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain

Why Does This Always Fall on Me? | A live conversation about stepping out of the fixer role without burning bridges


Listen Later

🌟 Click to Send Karlee a Text - We Want To Hear Your Thoughts About This Episode 🌟

If you're the one everyone comes to for solutions, the one who holds it all together at home and work, have you ever wondered…”Why is it always me?” 

Being "the fixer" isn't just about what we do. It's about the internal compulsion we feel to step in, solve problems, and carry the weight when things get hard. It's the guilt we experience when we can't fix everything, and the quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly managing not just our own lives, but everyone else's too.

So why does it always fall on you? 

The truth is that you developed this role for good reasons. It's served you and others well. But if it's becoming unsustainable, there are ways to shift the dynamic without abandoning your natural gifts or feeling guilty about creating the boundaries you need. 

This week, Karlee teams up with trusted friend and colleague Jack Mason-Goodall for a live group conversation about what it means to be the one who fixes, holds, and carries, and what it costs when no one notices just how much you're managing.

In this episode, you’ll join a thoughtful live audience as they explore why we fall into fixing roles, how these patterns develop from childhood, and most importantly, how to create more sustainable ways of showing up that honor both your capacity to help and your need for support.

If you’re ready to understand the psychology behind your fixing patterns and learn how to shift from "fix or fail" to something more balanced, this episode is for you.


What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • (17:43) The three relationship roles we all inhabit and how they shape our interactions
  • (21:58) How trust influences our tendency to step in and fix
  • (26:18) Bringing awareness in to thwart our automatic responses
  • (34:28) How to navigate resistance while changing your role in relationships 
  • (49:08) Vulnerability and self-compassion on the path to change


Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get your FREE "When Helping Gets Heavy" companion guide for this episode

Book: Games People Play: The basic handbook of transactional analysis by Eric Berne MD 


People Mentioned in this Episode:

Dr. Senem Eren


Connect with Jack Mason-Goodall, BSc., MA, MBACP, MBPsS:

LinkedIn

AutismOptimismInternational.com
Focused on relationship‑based play therapy, autism family support, coaching for parents, professionals, and businesses

HowToBeUs.com
Offers individual and group psychotherapy/coaching with a commitment to inclusivity (LGBTQIA+ affirming, anti‑oppressive)


Connect With Karlee: 

Website

LinkedIn

Instagram


Use the “Text Karlee” option above to send your Audio Comments and Questions to us.


Messy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Messy & Magnificent with Karlee FainBy Karlee Fain

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

44 ratings


More shows like Messy & Magnificent with Karlee Fain

View all
Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain

43,659 Listeners

The Moth by The Moth

The Moth

27,226 Listeners

Tara Brach by Tara Brach

Tara Brach

10,529 Listeners

Ghost of a Podcast: Astrology & Advice with Jessica Lanyadoo by Jessica Lanyadoo

Ghost of a Podcast: Astrology & Advice with Jessica Lanyadoo

4,240 Listeners

The Feminine Rebellion by Natty Frasca

The Feminine Rebellion

9 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things

41,566 Listeners

The Interview by The New York Times

The Interview

1,609 Listeners

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce by Wondery

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

17,949 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

19,837 Listeners

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus by Lemonada Media

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus

11,126 Listeners

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast by Civility Media

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

8,394 Listeners